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Max E Pad

 

NEW TEXT HERE Charts: Despacito is No 1 again
It’s the 20th anniversary of Garry Kasparov vs Deep Blue – the totemic event in AI history when the chess champion lost to a computer. Hear Kasparov talk about it (& AI) for the first time, plus legendary MIT Labs Prof Mike Hawley. Don’t miss out! 30th May, 645pm, London SW1 Discounted earlybird tickets plus extra 10% off with code POPBITCH:
http://bit.ly/2micJBb
“I had Stormzy at my house and we played our new albums to each other and he said, ‘I can really relate to that’. And he’s from Croydon.” – Ed Sheeran
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* Tom Daley’s cheesecake mantra
* Muse for Eurovision 2018?
* Charts: Ed Sheeran still No. 1
>> No angels <<
Forgettable new album
 

If you watched Robbie Williams’ car crash set at the Brit Awards last week and didn’t recognise any of the songs he chose to perform, you’re not alone.

Robbie didn’t know them either. He had to read his lyrics off a telepromoter.

Take That’s live band shares a surprising number of musicians with Jeff Lynne’s ELO live band.
>> Mail shot <<
Paper guns for Nightly Show
 

The Daily Mail has always been quick to go in two-footed on the BBC whenever it has half a chance – but now it seems to have refocused its attention on ITV’s The Nightly Show. A damning editorial appeared in the Mail after just one episode, where they absolutely savaged it.

Presumably this hardline stance is completely unrelated to the fact that the Mail’s parent group has a 20% stake in ITN, who are makers of the News at Ten – the programme that was kicked out of its slot to make way for the new show.

Backstreet Boys’ Nick Carter likes to check into hotels as Max E Pad. One their last tour Howie D was Billie Jean King.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking?
 

Which female reality star is enjoying the renewed interest in her life and all the money that the resulting pap shots are bringing in? She should be careful about showing off the new “civilian” boyfriend too much though – in case any of the press catch wise that he’s a well-known local drug dealer.

POPBITCH MAGAZINE ISSUE 32: OUT NOW Google has decided (temporarily, we hope) that Popbitch Magazine is too racy for its app store, but you can still get this month’s too-hot-for-Android content over on the Apple Store. Go and see what’s got Google all a-flutter. Download it now:
http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
>> Peer pressure <<
Shami’s getting leathered
 

Shami Chakrabarti has been getting such a pasting for her recent amateurish TV appearances, it makes you wonder why she bothers putting herself through it all – but she really owes Jeremy Corbyn. Few people know quite how much.

Shami really, really wanted that peerage. As far as we can tell, she put herself up for selection as a People’s Peer at least three times but never got the call. She made overtures to the Lib Dems to be nominated too, but there was nothing doing there.

Clearly they missed out, as Corbyn’s decision to make her a lady has obviously earned him her eternal gratitude.

Norwegian broadcaster NRK is experimenting with their website’s comment section. You can only leave a comment after you pass a test to prove you actually read the piece.
>> Daley mantra <<
Blessed are the cheesecakers
 

Tom Daley’s latest cookbook is all about staying healthy, but while filming a cookery programme for All 4 last year he let on to crew that his favourite food wasn’t quite so wholesome. It’s cheesecake.

He loves cheesecake so much that he claims it’s one of the things that he thinks about when standing on the top board to keep him calm. His personal mantra is that even if his dive goes tits up, he shouldn’t worry; there will still be cheesecake in the world.

Tom Daley’s training diet is so restrictive that there are only two weeks each year when he is actually allowed to eat cheesecake.
>> Heavy machinery <<
Ozzie rules get boring
 

What the hell is happening to Sydney’s nightlife? First it was being choked by exhaustive drinking rules; now venues are getting their knuckles rapped for making too much noise.

A big venue was recently fined over noise complaints stemming from one world famous act. Was it dance titans Flume hosting an illegal rave? Or maybe it was Guns N Roses tearing the roof off the ANZ stadium?

Nearly. The venue fined was the Sydney Opera House. The artist? Noted hell-raisers, Florence and the Machine.

7% of all Australian Catholic priests between 1950 and 2010 are alleged to have been child abusers.
>> The sound of Muse <<
Bellamy for Eurovision 2018?
 

Incumbent Eurovision champions Ukraine have just revealed their entry for this year’s contest and the chorus couldn’t sound more like a Muse song if they had hired Matt Bellamy himself to write it.

While Muse’s particular brand of conspiracy space-rock might seem a little leftfield for the famously kitsch TV pop contest, there’s some evidence to suggest that Muse might actually be the quintessential Eurovision band.

Hear for yourself:
http://bit.ly/2lwQaEN

Popbitch’s favourite tough-tackling non-league defender? From Solihull Moors, it’s… Nortei Nortey!
>> Party poopers <<
Sponsors are slippery buggers
 

Elton and David’s Oscars party did a great job once again of raising millions for his Aids charity, but Hollywood reporters were less than complimentary about the quality of this year’s guest list.

Sponsors appear to have noticed the distinctly D-List invitees too. Where once Elton could rely on luxury watchmaker Chopard to step up, this year’s bash came courtesy of “Neuro Drinks”.

Perhaps the promise of a shit goodie bag kept the big stars away? Or perhaps they should have thought twice about the movie they screened for guests? Few things say ‘party’ like a two hour Christian Bale drama about the Armenian genocide.

Kygo’s It Ain’t Me makes the 10th biggest jump ever on the Billboard chart, from 93 to 12. Biggest ever? Kelly Clarkson’s My Life Would Suck Without You, from 97 to 1 in 2009.
>> Credit crunched <<
Ta-ra-ra cannot pay
 

Sharknado castmates Jedward and Tara Reid were out having dinner recently. When the bill came Tara offered to pay, but her card was declined.

Tara’s reaction? She threw her hands in the air and simply said “Typical Tara Reid!”

Who would win in a fight between a baboon and a badger? Ralf Little’s answer? “A baboon would tear its head off.”
>> Max power <<
Oops he did it again
 

Reclusive pop genius Max Martin has just given his first major interview since 2001. Here’s some of the things we learned:

1. His house in LA used to be owned by Frank Sinatra, and then James Coburn.

2. He’s good mates with Zlatan.

3. He started out playing the French horn as he thought it was the coolest instrument.

4. Went through a stage of extreme Prince-fandom.

5. He’s recently started listening to jazz. A lot.

6. Has a children’s book about the Beatles in his studio to explain them to some of the younger artists he works with.

7. Says he has cheesy tastes; loves Def Leppard and Kiss.

The full interview:
http://bit.ly/2mwRVqs

Listen to this week’s Media Focus podcast, David Calloway, CEO of US financial news site, The Street:
http://bit.ly/2md07ek
>> Hmmms <<
Otters, Loreen, shitty pants
 

Australia’s Dept of Finance graduate programme. Watch through your fingers:
https://youtu.be/0zlEFTgk1tg

Local news of the week – Singapore edition:
http://bit.ly/2lD77hp

Local news of the week – UK edition
http://bit.ly/2mdmAb7

British music really sucks right now:
http://nyp.st/2lZUY7r

Eurovision winner Loreen is competing to represent Sweden again. She’s gone a bit Bjork-meets-Sia:
https://youtu.be/ejU7RKmmJMQ

Otter wags tail when happy!
http://bit.ly/2mijC5P

Fireman Sam x Pet Shop Boys:
http://bit.ly/2lCUAKR

This week’s best giggle at Farage:
http://bit.ly/2mdG7bD

Thanks to: JC, DE, RH, Q, NS, JW, party_b, theabominablehoman, OS, CC, PD, PL, MT, C, ML
Old Jokes Home:
Just told my mate a joke about eskimos… but Inuit already.

Still Bored?
Want to buy Grey Gardens? It’s on sale for $20 million:
http://bit.ly/2mwQVTa

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