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Werner Herzog in Conversation – Guidance for the Perplexed. Fri 16 Jan, London. This is not a simple talk about a book. It’s a one-off multi-media performance. A discussion about pretty much anything. Start the year with something challenging. Special Offer with code POPBITCH 25GBP:
http://bit.ly/1wjgDGR
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“My heart is really in contemporary jazz, but lately I’ve been ballroom dancing with Derek Hough” – Kate Hudson
“I don’t know who Michael Fassbender is and the rest of the world isn’t going to care” – Aaron Sorkin
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|_| |_|11.12.14 ISSUE 718
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* The no-longer ex-factor
* Shopping with Schwarzenegger
* Charts: Ronson/Mars for No 1?
>> Laboured entrance <<
Out on the Ed carpet
At The Sun Military Awards last night, David and Samantha Cameron were driven with police escort straight to the door. Charles and Camilla were the only others to get this treatment.
All the other celebrity guests had to walk the red carpet and speak to Good Morning Britain et al. Amy Childs, Nadia Forde, Jeff Brazier… you know the sort.
Oh, and Ed Miliband. He also had to do the Z-lister walk. You’d almost think the Sun had a political agenda, or something, wouldn’t you?
Nominative determinism of the week: UKIP’s general secretary, accused of sexual harassment… Roger Bird.
>> Big Questions <<
Who wants to know what?
The cracks in this celebrity couple might have become public this week, but it’s smack rumours not crack rumours that refuse to go away for which one of them?
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ONE ROGUE REPORTER: This Xmas watch Kelvin Mackenzie and Paul Dacre finally get their comeuppance. John Cleese branded it “hilarious”, Hugh Grant called it “film of the year”. Don’t miss your chance to buy or rent the most controversial movie of 2014, the tabloid-terrorising One Rogue Reporter
http://bit.ly/1rogue
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>> Storm Clouds <<
Tallia’s Silent Night
If one good thing could come out of the Zoella ghostwriting ‘scandal’, it’s that ghostwriters may now be able to get a fairer deal on the work they do.
So for the people who have just been offered £5,000 to ghostwrite ‘pop star’ Tallia Storm’s newly announced book, you might now be able to wrangle a better fee.
Or you might be better off not bothering at all – as taking the commission means you will almost certainly end up dealing with her mother…
http://bit.ly/1yCOfmp
FYI: If you really hate Christmas, you’ll love Tallia’s version of Silent Night:
http://bit.ly/1zAtW7S
Russell Tovey is providing the voice of Moomintroll, in the new Moomins movie.
>> Funk you up <<
The no-longer ex-factor
Fleur East’s performance of Uptown Funk on X Factor outlined three truths about the music industry:
1. People still flip out for a properly good pop song.
2. Despite what these shows pretend, it’s almost impossible to pluck out a nobody and make them a success on TV (Fleur’s had many years of experience performing in front of 50k+ festival crowds; it showed)
3. Simon Cowell can’t do anything without people assuming it’s a fix.
For what it’s worth, on this occasion it’s unlikely that Cowell is guilty of a big Sony/Uptown Funk conspiracy trick. He was just clever enough to get behind a truly great track.
For the real X Factor five-point PR Masterplan, see:
http://bit.ly/1wgHjZY
Ronnie O’Sullivan has “very hairy armpits and forearms”.
>> Toast of London <<
Xmas fashion this year
Last year we reported that Ralph Lauren celebrated their successful year by cancelling their office Christmas parties.
They couldn’t have got away with doing that two years on the trot though, so after another vastly profitable twelve months, this year they’ve organised a “Christmas Toast” for their staff…
What is a “Christmas Toast”? An hour-long Powerpoint presentation. After work hours.
Happy holidays!
Jan Moir got her claws into William and Kate this week. Interesting that the Daily Mail had to preface it with “The Mail disagrees but…”
>> Freudian slip? <<
Pole position for Matthew
We were delighted to see PR mogul Matthew Freud’s placing in the Guardian’s Media List this week – especially in light of the story we ran last week.
We couldn’t help but wonder if someone had the Guardian had also heard some great rumours when they decided to put him in position 69…
Minty from EastEnders asking for the WiFi password at the Harringay Arms last Sunday afternoon. (All the biggest news, right here…)
>> Brown nose <<
Mel tells it straight
Good old Mel B, confirming this week what everyone’s been saying for years about her husband, Stephen Belafonte – “I’ve been happily married for seven years to a penis.”
FYI: Strange that amid all the Mel B lesbian relationship stories, no-one’s mentioned her and Geri…
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Oh hello! For the rudest Crimbo cards and funniest cool gifts, get yourself over to Brainbox Candy cards & gifts, plus exclusive Popbitch voucher codes
http://www.brainboxcandy.com/popbitch
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>> Euro-popbits <<
News from Scandinavia
1. ArunChupa’s I’m An Albatroaz is a massive hit in Europe. It’s distinctive, a bit novelty and has this year’s essential ingredient – weirdly inappropriate swear words:
http://youtu.be/Bznxx12Ptl0
2. Norwegian wunderkind Kygo has his first single out too. It was the subject of a major bidding war here in the UK but perhaps mildly underwhelming after all those amazing remixes:
http://youtu.be/KpAjHuzzMJc
Just in case you ever forgot what a great dad Peter Andre is, his new single is called “Christmas Time’s For Family”.
>> MagBitch <<
Special Christmas Offers!
Issue 12 of Popbitch Magazine is out now, featuring:
* An in-depth look at the strange scandals of J- and K-Pop scenes
* The Spanking Crisis – What new porn laws mean for Gregg Wallace
* The Blairs’ Real Xmas Card – Seasoned Meat Things
PLUS: Dinosaur movies, Uber’s patchy press cuttings and Lauren Harries’ new pop video!
* We’ve also got a very special Christmas subscription deal going at the moment – with some bonus goodies for taking out a year’s subscription. Treat your friends for free!
http://bit.ly/popbitchxmas
6music “legend” Huey Morgan played a DJ set in Brighton last weekend. 40 people showed up.
>> Maxed out <<
It gets worse for Clifford
Popbitch, Dec 2012
“Squeaky-bum time for famous Clifford clients… Think of all those clients Max has faithfully represented, and all the information he was privy to. What if some of it ended up at the News of The World, without their knowledge, eh?”
Daily Mail, Dec 2014
“Jailed publicist Max Clifford is being sued by former Royal butler Paul Burrell over claims that he secretly faxed a confidential letter to a newspaper… At Clifford’s request, he wrote a six-page letter setting out his relationship with the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh… Later, on legal advice, Burrell decided not to use Clifford’s services. But an angry Clifford faxed the letter to Rebekah Brooks, then editor of the now defunct News of the World, it is claimed. The NotW did not publish its details.”
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>> Hmmms <<
Drink, art, owls
Get 10% off your Christmas spirits or last minute boozy gifts from our friends DrinksOrder.com. Checkout using the discount code PBXMAS any time before 22/12:
http://bit.ly/1Izj6TO
Urban Art + Toys. Obey, Klay, KidRobot, MacCarthy, Hoshine etc… Fill Your Stockings!
http://ebay.eu/1GgvDcR
Irritable Owl Syndrome t-shirt and the coffee poo mug win Xmas?
http://goo.gl/QREwnE
We told Vice what 15 years of publishing Popbitch has taught us about celebrity:
http://bit.ly/12xZajg
Uptown Funk looks set to top the charts. We’ve been campaigning for its early release for weeks:
http://bit.ly/1wgeZqv
Buy Christmas dinner for someone homeless. It only takes 5 pounds and less than 5 minutes of your time to make this happen:
http://bit.ly/1AjpHMm
Spare a thought for anyone who gets stuck talking to Pippa Middleton at a Christmas party this year:
http://bit.ly/1wBQs1f
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THANKS: drunken_boht, uncle_whuppity, qm, Celtiagirl, doghousedave, GDC, bad_horsey, P, LEW, FT, __________
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Old Jokes Home
Q/ What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A/ Gaelic
Still Bored:
Free Prosecco with a ticket to Cinderella, starring Linda Gray, Tim Vine and Wayne Sleep at New Wimbledon Theatre! Until 11 Jan, (except 20-30 Dec). Book 0844 871 7646 or online with code POPFIZZ
http://bit.ly/1BAEMx7