| As if Clueless is 30! To like, celebrate, why not check out Clueless, The Musical, a modern spin on a total classic from Amy Heckerling – the films original writer-director. It’s coming to the West End via West Hollywood this week, and features all new music by KT Tunstall.
[Get your tickets here] |
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| “How do we make a ceviche even brighter and better?” – Meghan “Markle” Sussex |
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| 06.03.25 Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Issue #1226 Email stories: hello@popbitch.com
* On the Guestlist Under “Dave”
* North West Tip-Off Jar
* PLUS: Myles of Sense at the BRITs |
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| >> The King of Spin << |
| A warnie to us all |
| This Tuesday marked three years since we lost Shane Warne.
Warnie’s legacy lives on in a foundation that encourages men to get on top of their heart health – a laudable objective generally, but particularly so after his premature demise on holiday in Koh Samui.
The circumstances around Warne’s death have always been a little opaque but local authorities were quietly pretty convinced they knew what happened.
Viagra jellies – known as ‘Kamagra’ on the street in Thailand – are very popular and often very potent. Much stronger than the little blue pills you get at the pharmacy.
For someone with a bad heart who drinks too many Red Bulls, constantly crash diets and smokes like a chimney, adding in these super-strength jellies would be a disastrous combination. |
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| Also on 4th March: the 12th anniversary of an intern taking the Tatler dog out for a walk and then helplessly watching it get squished in the revolving door of Vogue House. |
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| >> Tip-Off Jar << |
| Waiter, there’s a sleb in my soup |
| Here are some quick titbits we’ve heard from staff at one of the fanciest restaurant spots in the north west:
Nicky Butt loves Pinot Noir and will buy a steak for any price if it’s big enough.
The Duchess of York is an awful customer.
And most fascinatingly: Phil Jones simply does not understand how restaurants work.
If you have other restaurant gossip or any idea what that last one means please enlighten us hello@popbitch.com |
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| Danny Dyer brought a white baggy to the red carpet to promote his new film Marching Powder, the film that their PRs had insisted is not a movie about drugs. |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking again this week? |
| Which MP – one with a particular interest in retail crime and safety – had an interesting past-era as a prolific teenage shoplifter? |
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Energy bills are rising again. From 1st April, a typical UK household will pay £1,849 per year for gas and electricity, an extra £111. But a Sunsave solar & battery system will significantly reduce how much energy you need to buy. You can store energy for later or even sell back to the grid in peak hours so you can profit when prices are highest.
[Calculate Savings]
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| >> Dave Ja Vue << |
| Grauniad on form |
| Best Guardian Correction of the year?
Fatboy Slim:
“I was in the same class as Keir Starmer – he’s one up on me now”
• This article was amended on 27 February 2025, to correct a reference to David Bowie that was misheard as Dave Berry.
(FYI: Schoolmates remember Norman Cook as Quentin back then) |
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| Nom Dem of the Week: the expert guest on an instructive BBC Radio item about bowel health and colitis – Professor Lindsay Bottoms. |
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| >> Naked Truth << |
| The pre-superinjunction era |
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PM writes
“Tom Holland may have likened The Lives of Caesar to Popbitch, but surely Ancient Rome’s Popbitch is Procopius’ The Secret History?
“It contains an infamous account of how, before she married him, Emperor Justinian’s wife had a stage act that consisted of her lying naked on stage (except for a ribbon for legal reasons) and then have trained geese pick up grain off her lady bits. And a whole lot more besides.
“Procopius was a Roman historian who said that the Secret History was all the bits he had to leave out of the official history to avoid offending the Emperor and his wife.” |
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| Barry Scott from those old Cillit Bang adverts is now the quizmaster at the Raglan pub quiz in Walthamstow. |
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| >> Stay Humble << |
| A-Major (victory) |
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Social media was abuzz after this year’s Super Bowl; unanimous that Kendrick Lamar had just done the worst halftime show ever.Media and music industry comment concurred. The halftime show was a platform for a big act to show off their greatest hits to a 100m+ armchair audience, not a place to showcase new music, or push a personal agenda (i.e. Drake)
Turns out there’s a reason Kendrick has a rep as one of the most astute artists on the planet.
Deciding that the multi million armchair sports fans watching around the world were largely irrelevant, he gambled that maybe 5% could be turned into Kendrick fans, or were already semi-fans who didn’t know he had a new album out.
By playing his new tracks, he got a smallish percentage of viewers interested. Bad for the TV network. But that smallish % in streaming terms is still huge. Good for him. Outcome? US number one album, four of the top five in US singles charts, three out of top five in the UK singles chart.
Shibboleths abandoned.
Let’s see if someone tries to replicate it next time out.
(FYI: And Drake? He ballsed up a concert in Brisbane, cancelled the rest of his tour down under and hopped it back to Canada.) |
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| Three and a Half Minutes of Fame takes you back to the wild 90s! Raw stories, music, and nostalgia—narrated by the author.
[Listen now!] |
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>>
Myles of Sense << |
| The influencer-industrial complex |
| The major labels no doubt headed out from the BRITs to toast their genius at their glitzy after-parties. Sony at Nobu, Warners at Claridges; while Universal headed to Fleet St’s 180 Studios.
Few people probably took heed of BRIT award winner Myles Smith’s acceptance speech.
He asked the industry. “Are we building careers or are we just chasing moments because moments fade and careers take time so please stick with artists past their first viral hit.”
Sony and Warners had smallish scale parties but UMG aimed for a different vibe – offering guestlist and a car service to a load of influencers. This party seemed more about getting namechecked on social accounts than welcoming the best of British artists, some of whom bitched about the quality of influencer being feted.
So, back to Myles…
Maybe when his speech gets turned into a TikTok edit it’ll resonate more with these party-hard labels producing those viral hits. |
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| Spotted at a tube station (i): James McAvoy in Finsbury Park (he has a bolthole in Crouch End). |
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| >> Trigger Happy << |
| On the guestlist under ‘Dave’ |
| Back in the early 2010s, The Flowerpot made a name for itself as a tiny, but sought after, live music venue in Kentish Town. The club’s premise was simple: gigs seven days a week, no cover charge and always a first come, first in, policy irrespective of the bands playing.
(A policy which once saw head honchos at MTV and Columbia Records turned away at the door of a Vaccines gig and forced to camp out and sulk in the nearby Hawley Arms instead, for example.)
At one particularly busy Kitty, Daisy and Lewis gig a scruffy silver-haired chap turned up on a bike, sweating profusely, five minutes before the start.
He begged to be allowed in, telling the door staff that the band were his neighbour’s kids and that he was on the (non existent) guest list.
When refused he politely gave up and went to the back of the queue, at which point bouncers realised the scruffy biker in question was Trigger from Only Fools and Horses, Roger Lloyd-Pack.
(FYI: As he had been so gracious they let him in the back door). |
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| Spotted at a tube station (ii): James Cleverly and wife walking their two pugs. He was also holding a pair of those wooden shoe stretcher things. At Lewisham station he gave her a little kiss and pinched her bum, then boarded the train with his shoe stretchers still in his hand. |
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| >> Hats Off << |
| Spotting is a Spectator sport |
| Andrew Neil was in the News UK building yesterday morning, buying a Diet Coke in the company canteen.
He was also wearing a Spectator baseball cap – showing he still holds a flame for his old magazine despite its takeover (and his removal) by arch nemesis Paul Marshall.
(FYI: You may recall Neil had Marshall blocked from entry to the Spectator summer party a couple of years back after they fell out over GB News.) |
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| Nerd alert: Junior SPADs in No 10 were so keen to let everyone know they were important enough to be travelling with the PM to see Trump last week that they put on needless auto-replies saying “I am working on GMT-5”. |
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| >> As if! << |
| Alternative virgins who can’t drive |
| Clueless celebrates its 30th birthday this year. Hard to imagine now, but it could have looked entirely different – as some very famous names almost got cast.
Instead of Alicia Silverstone as Cher, producers also looked at Gwyneth Paltrow, while Reese Witherspoon campaigned heavily for the role.
As for Josh – before Paul Rudd was cast it was thought to be a coin-toss between Ben Affleck and Jeremy Renner.
Cher’s bff Dionne could have been Lauryn Hill, and D’s boyfriend Murray was almost Empire’s Terrence Howard.
Owen Wilson auditioned for stoner Travis and Cher’s frenemy Amber was first offered to Buffy the Vampire Slayer Sarah Michelle Gellar. |
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| Are you a virgin who can’t drive? Then Clueless The Musical is for you! Soundtrack here: Go see now at the Trafalagar Theatre.
[Tickets here] |
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| >> Hmmms << |
| Headlines, jokes, gold |
| Thanks to UK’s complaint to EBU we won’t be getting the extraordinary Maltese entry, Kant. Why complain about a song whose chorus consists of someone shouting ‘Do Ray Mi I’m serving kunt” over and over again?
[Boo BBC]
In other Eurovision news, hot Swedish ex-winner Måns Zelmerlöw is back for another go. He’s up against the excellent Kaj and 10 others in Melodifestivalen this weekend.
[Back a Sweden win now]
What’s the deal with Gene Hackman’s dog???
[Answers on a postcard]
The perils of buying a Musk Truck
[Read on Gizmodo]
Headline of the week: Lara Trump’s Fox debut derailed as fans allege plastic surgery left her looking like horse
[Sure]
Man named Manbeer sells beer
[Nom Det of the Century?]
RIP the wonderful Roy Ayers. You’d have found the full PBHQ crew at all his later-years Ronnie Scotts gigs. The otters are flying at half-mast today.
[NPR Tiny Concert] |
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| Thanks to: NB, BGA, JM, AR, CL, L, NB, JF, DD, CL, WT, DF PS, PM, E, J, Cl, CW, RL |
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Old Jokes Home
I’ve relabeLled all the jars in our spice rack.
I’m not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin.
Still Bored?
POPBITCH POPQUIZ LOVERS REJOICE! February’s quiz is here and available to buy and download for £9.99. Brand new music round, trivia, puzzles, arts and crafts and a picture round. Plus some scandalous celebrity confessions. Fun for all the family (If you’re the Fritzls)
[Get Quiz Here]
*** WhatsApp us some goss on +44 7923 619540. We’re also on Instagram and our DMs are open *** |
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