For all you OG Popbitches, you will remember our good friends at Homeys slippers? Well, as a special Xmas treat, they are offering an exclusive PB discount! Just use POPBITCH at checkout.
[Buy at Homeys] |
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“I’ve been divorced twice – there’s nothing trad about that unless you’re Zsa Zsa Gabor” – Talulah Riley |
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#1214 Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
05.12.24 Email us stories hello@popbitch.com
* Wallace and vomit
* Festive food poisoning
* PLUS: Fern Britton’s arse |
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>> Mastercock << |
A good workplace atmosphere |
Unsurprisingly, Popbitch has received more than our fair share of Gregg Wallace gossip over the years
Looking through a multi-year treasure trove, a few simple patterns emerge. Gregg loves to tell people about his sex life. He appears to have a total lack of filter. His general behaviour is not appropriate for the workplace. Someone should have told him to stfu a long, long time ago.
But should this have been left festering until the idiot received such a full pile-on plus show cancellation and five days’ front pages – sample headline: Is Gregg Wallace the most obnoxious man in Britain? (Telegraph).
Wallace does provide the meat and two veg of the issue today; and paid subscribers will get the full annals in the PB Second Serve issue on Monday so sign up.
[Xmas sale – get 25% off] |
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Weekly seat filler update: Using the service to fill out their gigs this week… Tom Meighan, Caitlin Moran (in discussion with Alex James) |
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>> I do shag! << |
Room for a groom |
Few people love weddings more than Gregg Wallace (he’s been married four times). Even as a guest he’s going to make sure he’s having a good time.At the wedding of an ex-wife’s old school friend, Gregg was thrilled with the egomania of being a sleb at a wedding of ordinary folk, but he didn’t exactly ingratiate himself to the table he was sat at.
The moment that people talked about for a long time after was when, pointing to his mortified (ex) wife, Greg announced to the whole table with a huge leering grin: “I was doing her in the arse last night”.
(To be fair this is one of Gregg’s favourite dinner topics – he once leaned over to an adjacent table while out at a restaurant and announced apropos of nothing to his fellow diner – who unbeknownst to him was a popbitch staffer’s mum – “I love fucking my girlfriend”.) |
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The Swedish version of Masterchef is called Masterkock. |
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>> Big Questions << |
Who’s trimming themselves this week? |
Not all celebs are on the Ozempic. Which TV comedy star surprised crew on a recent photoshoot with very obvious lipo scars across the stomach? |
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Want great stories about London in your inbox every week? The Londoner publishes juicy scoops and compelling long reads – and Tina Brown is a fan.
[Sign up for free] |
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>> Salty << |
Nuance allegations |
John Torode – the Masterchef Dec to Wallace’s Ant… PB readers just can’t make up their minds about him.In the “cons” camp:
C writes: “A mate of mine was on Masterchef years ago, so I messaged her this week, and she said she mentioned his racist and sexist ‘jokes’ to the crew, who said “Yes, we have to edit out most of what Gregg says”. Torode did not make such comments, but was unpleasant enough for her to go all caps and describe him as “FUCKING AWFUL”.
In the “pros” camp
R writes: At a MasterChef press junket, Wallace declaimed to one participating journalist, on their over-salted dish ‘You have the subtlety of a rapist’. John tried to make up for his rude colleague by being super nice.”
FYI: We found one story that was nice about both of them – Torode once let on that he and Wallace both helped train the Masterchef celebrities so that they didn’t end up looking like absolute twats on camera. |
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Gregg Wallace recently changed his WhatsApp picture – the one he’s had since 2019, of him topless and flexing his muscles – to a more family friendly picture of him smiling in a navy blue shirt. |
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>> Old Gold << |
Wallace and vomit |
Popbitch’s first stories on Gregg Wallace date back to 2011. A quick recap of his appearances here in year zero.
– Asking his old girlfriends to dress up as schoolgirls so he could put them over his knee and spank them
– Leaving his vast spank-mag collection in the garage of his house for new owners to find
– Gregg getting married for the third time “the lucky lady who has years of this St Trinian-style roleplay to look forward to? Heidi Brown – a schoolteacher, 17 years his junior.”
Alas our predictions skills were hardly Mystic Meg. Greg and Heidi split the following year. |
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Don’t tell the Mail – Wallace + Strictly – they’ll combust: PB issue 706 11/09/14 “Gossip reaches us from backstage at Strictly…’Gregg Wallace – Massive twat. Talked loudly, constantly telling shit jokes. Then decided to take his trousers off and walk around wardrobe and make up in his pants’.” |
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>> River Frottage << |
Kitchen Confidential |
Lest you think we’re picking on Wallace – it’s fair to say Gregg is not the only TV chef-type regularly in our inbox.There was Gordon Ramsay telling randoms at a celeb launch that he called his first restaurant Aubergine “because of my purple bellend”.
And many people have written to discuss why the practice of taking someone back to your hotel room to jizz on them might be known as “a Hugh”.
Proving mucky talk can be a gender neutral pastime in the F&B world, there’s Fern Britton.
On Ready Steady Cook back in the 90s, contestants made dishes with a celebrity chef while chatting to host Fern Britton. As the credits rolled and music played, teams gathered together to eat and chat. On one show, knowing she couldn’t be heard on camera, Ferne declared of a whipped chocolate pudding, “I would just love to have someone spread this over my arse and then lick it off”. Crew and contestants are still being treated for PTSD. |
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We’ve heard of politicians desperately trying to be down with the kids. But Politico getting its Xmas drinks party for Westminster types, lobbyists and MPs sponsored by TikTok feels like a new low. |
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>> Love’s Not Dead << |
Make time for each other |
Gregg Wallace got some stick last week for writing “have sex with wife” on his Google calendar, but he’s not alone out there.
On the set of Don’t Tell The Bride, crew spotted a small whiteboard in the kitchen of the soon-to-be bride and groom. It featured a ‘his and hers’ to-do list.
The list for him to do was quite long, filled with chores like “pick up the towels in the bathroom”, and “wash sports kit”. Hers, on the other hand, was just one word: “anal”. |
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>> Joke Award << |
It’s a Man’s World |
X writes:
“I was working at the ‘Women In Investment Awards’ in the City of London last Wednesday, which celebrated women’s achievements in the financial sector. The event was hosted by writer and comedian Lucy Porter. She wasn’t the only one present to raise her eyebrows when the winner of the ‘Gender Diversity and Inclusion Award’ was announced – it went to Man Group!” |
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Christmas is cancelled: Daylesford Organic have been forced to recall their Reindeer Poo over allergy concerns. |
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>> Wham! Dunk << |
Festive food poisoning |
Just when you thought there was absolutely nothing new you could hear about Last Christmas we get the inside story of how the video came to be.Filmed in the twee Swiss ski resort of Saas-Fee; the owner of the Walliserhof hotel, where the band stayed back then, gave the back story.That Autumn, 1984, he’d been called by a location scout for a Bill Murray film called The Razor’s Edge. They were in the mountains in India but everyone had food poisoning so they wanted to relocate the stars to Europe and recreate the look.
It went well so a month later he got a call from the same location scout, who had a pop band in Gstaad trying to film a Christmas video but there was no snow. Could they come to the hotel in Saas-Fee?
So that iconic Wham! video came about because Bill Murray had the shits.
[Read more at FT] |
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Good to see Brat summer becoming Brat winter – fans at the Charli XCX gig at O2 last week were on the fags and poppers (indoors) like there was no tomorrow. |
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>> Dick Hewer << |
The other apprentice |
Allison Pearson isn’t the only terror to their PA. Apparently Nick Hewer could be a chain-smoking, shouty nightmare back in the day too.
One poor (former) PA had to help edit/rewrite his daughter’s dissertation to get it to a standard where she could submit it to her university.
The daughter in question is now an artist with an Insta full of drawings of celebs, all of which are presumably created by hand and not by staff. |
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See over 50 London shows for less – get theatre tickets from £10 – £60 in Official London Theatre’s See It Live in 2025 sale. Shows include Wicked, Mean Girls, MAMMA MIA!, SIX and more.
[Buy now!] |
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>> Hmmms << |
Some things to waste time on |
Who needs Spotify wrapped when you’ve got the world’s only (?) Human Centipede-themed song to listen to instead?
[Be afraid]
Inside the 20 year failed war on illegal content[Read on Huck]
The grumpy namesake founder of Gail’s, Gail Mejia, says their coffee is “shit”
[Read on AirMail]
How unicorns and dinosaurs took over the toy world
[Read on Prospect]
Rebekah Vardy and Dennis Wise – a new celebrity dream team – launching their own skittles vodka shots
[Safer for Jamie, presumably]
Americans do kiss and tells a bit differently: Hunter Biden’s girlfriend speaks!
[Read on New York Times]
Danny Baker’s house is up for sale
[Interesting reading material]
Trixie Mattel, Darren Criss and Cat Cohen feature in THE Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial show. Gwyneth Goes Skiing plays Pleasance Theatre Dec 11-21st – book now.
[Code POPGWITCH for 10% off] |
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Thanks to: RL, LOD, JK, VT, HB, BC, PL, mount_st_nobody, danceswithmustelids MK, MB, CC, Sk
And everyone who has WhatsApped us gossip so far.
In case you missed it, our number is +44 7923 619540. We’re also on Instagram and our DMs are open (@p0pb1tch). |
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Old Jokes Home
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that…
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