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Roger Waters, One Direction & more. Popbitch readers can get Club Wembley hospitality packages for Roger Waters, One Direction or you could event try something a little different, The NFL International Series! There’s only one way to enjoy all the biggest events. Call 020 8795 9646 or click here for more information.
http://bit.ly/1aPVLPB
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“I’m an absolute crisp monster” – Mel C
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|_| |_| 18.07.13 ISSUE 651
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* Origami duck hat party!
* Otter finger touch fish catch!
* Charts: Avicii V Thicke for no 1
>> Plane rude <<
Dizzee has a tizzy
Dizzee Rascal always seemed to be the most normal of celebs. Let’s hope this was just a bad day. On a recent FlyBe flight he refused to speak to the trolley-dolly, diverting all questions through his assistant. Like “Any drinks or snacks from the trolley?”
Mr Rascal, resplendent in a baseball cap with the slogan “All Eyes On Me”, wanted nothing from the trolley. Instead he favoured nodding to the music played through his Beats headphones, while his assistant sorted it with the flight attendant.
The man who organizes the Hearing Dogs Awards every year for hearingdogs.org is called Rob Panting.
>> Ain’t no party… <<
…like an origami duck hat party
Is this the best Craigslist ad ever? Someone in Austin sure knows how to throw a party. Their checklist:
* Model train set
* Origami hats
* Dollar bills
* Live ducks
Neil Tennant said the song we’d love on new PSB album was Thursday. Was he right? Half right. At the moment it’s joint between Thursday and Love Is A Bourgeois Construct.
>> Metal detectives <<
A neo-nazi terrorism surprise
Music stars are always poking their noses into politics, but the French story of a Norwegian neo-nazi terrorist being arrested in case he went all Brievik on us took this into the realm of the weird when the suspect turned out to be Varg Vikernes.
Vikernes (aka Count Grisnackh) was the star of Norwegian ambient black metal gods, Burzum. He proved his satanist credentials by burning down some churches, before killing fellow black metal superstar Euronymous (who was famous for eating the brains of his dead bandmate, Dead Ohlin, in a paprika flavoured stew). To show how hard he was, the Count told friends that Euronymous “cried like a girl” as he stabbed him.
Authorities were concerned to find that Anders Brievik had been in touch with Vikernes, but Varg – who is now a white pagan (rather than satanist) since coming out of prison in 2009 – was hostile to Brievik, saying “If you work for Christianity in any way, you work for the Jews.”
Thom Yorke says he was inspired to get into music when he was walked into his school music room and found Thomas Dolby, with a synthesiser he’d just built himself.
>> Bow wow Frow <<
Parker poses problems
When Ben Frow resigned from Ireland’s TV3 to rejoin Channel 5 as director of programmes, some of his Irish colleagues would have sighed with relief – the cleaners in particular.
Frow used to take his little terrier, Parker, to work with him. And Frow seems to be very much from the Geri Halliwell school of dog training, as Parker was allowed to piss all over the office. When Frow left TV3, the company had to take up and throw away his office carpet, thanks to Parker’s daily business.
Though the dog was brought over to the UK on a ferry by Frow’s PA, it has been made clear that Parker will not be welcome at Richard Desmond’s C5.
The first thing Richard Desmond said to Ben Frow, according to Broadcast, was “Fuck, you’re small!”
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Is Rihanna really about to leave her record label?
Which recent celebrity break-up may have had something to do with her cocaine habit and his hatred of it?
Brad’n’Angelina’s move into winemaking at Chateau Miraval, France, got loads of press. The result? The price of Miraval’s famous rose wine is up 50%.
>> Mustelid must-do <<
Otter finger touch fish catch
Everyone will want to go to Japan next month. Why? Because they have a super-cute otter. And you can hold its paw. Really:
http://bit.ly/1br2ZbU
FYI: We were told this week that otters masturbate furiously much of the time. Puts Nutkins’ phrase, “Do you want to touch my otter?” into a whole new light.
Ryan Gosling’s karaoke song would be Push It by Salt-N-Pepa.
>> Photo insensitive <<
Is Walliams colourblind?
We don’t know if he was doing this intentionally or as a joke, but at the Rolling Stones gig at Hyde Park last week David Walliams appeared to have devised an ingenious way to get out of having his picture taken with a fan.
It works like this:
* Tell fan who asks for a photo that you have already had your picture taken with them.
* If they tell you they haven’t, tell them “I think you’ll find that you have…”
* Should they persist, keep arguing with them.
* Make such a big deal out of it that the fan wonders if it’s actually worth all the fuss.
PS: Don’t worry about the fact that this will give people the opportunity to make poor jokes about how it looks like you can’t tell which of the only two black women at the event who had their picture taken with you.
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12 more days to see Rubber Bandits at Soho Theatre. Tickets from 10GBP – PBers get 2.50GBP discount off. Spastic Hawk will have you in tears: http://bit.ly/13nhSKq
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>> Tweet of the week <<
The power of Essex social media
Daniella Westbrook was all a-twitter this week after her holiday plans went awry. Naturally, she turned to geezer, hard-man and travel agent to the stars… Danny Dyer.
“@MrDDyer RT please babe! Urgent need to rent a caravan at the orchards Clacton from Sunday to Sunday this week… As ours was double booked.”
Danny duly retweeted it. The problem has now been resolved.
Runner-up: Lee Brennan from 911, for “My dog shits for England! 3 bags @ counting today!!!” (Mainly for misusing the @ symbol)
>> Pupbitch <<
More celebrity dog news
Rik writes:
“It was with interest that I read the account of Nick Grimshaw’s Jack Russell, who seems to be acting up. Just last week I was enjoying the sun walking down Old Compton Street, only to be disturbed by an aggressive yapping. I turned around to see Grimmers failing to control his odious hound, as it attempted to tear into a petrified looking Bichon Frise outside G.A.Y., while Grimshaw remained nonchalant and unapologetic.
“There’s no great detail in this story. The main take-out is that his dog is clearly a prick.”
The Bichon Frise dog-make was made by combining a poodle with a dog known as a Tenerife.
>> Stitch up <<
Wilkins’ early days
sesquipedalian writes:
“Re Ray Wilkins drink-drive arrest, the stumpy dull cunt used to date a girl who lived in my village in the mid 80’s. Pretty girl called Karen. Put her through the windscreen. 40 stitches in her face, never called her again. True.”
The officer who arrested Wilkins for drink-driving is called PC Skidmore.
>> Hmmms <<
Jay-Z, Spotify, Acid
We offered 10 of our Kickstarter backers a chance to interview a pop star. Here’s part 1, with the chirpy Olly Murs:
http://bit.ly/12XkYi7
Catch a private screening of Jane Bussmann’s ace new sitcom about celebrity journalists starring the brilliant Sally Phillips, Kayvan Novak, Morgana Robinson, Olivia Poulet and Book of Mormon’s Stephen Ashfield. Next Weds 24 July, Covent Garden. RSVP:
http://bit.ly/12mKcZZ
Patrick O’Brien is a film-maker, and online forum stalwart “Transfatty”. Then he got Lou Gehrig’s disease. He has a film he wants to finish. Help him fund it:
http://bit.ly/1bKNLNw
A good cool-headed analysis of the artists v Spotify debate:
http://bit.ly/111zGH8
2013 has been about the return of the classic house track. Example fast-forwards us to rave:
http://bit.ly/1bKNPNv
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Previewing at the King’s Head Theatre, London, before Edinburgh – Making News, “a fast moving satire about the BBC”. 10pm, 26/27 July
http://bit.ly/18pDcRg
And in Edinburgh 31 Jul-25 Aug, Pleasance Courtyard:
http://bit.ly/16LaJyA
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Thanks to: FTC, Ginspiration, DB, Axemonkey, M, SG, madmonty, SD, abominablehoman, monstris, RT
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Old Trent Bridge Jokes Home:
Just been told by the doctor that my new born baby will never walk.
Turns out Stuart Broad is the father.
Still Bored:
Quentin Tarantino’s blogger girlfriend, Lianne Spiderbaby, is the new Johann Hari:
http://bit.ly/111zKXz
