More screenings of Jane Bussmann’s ace sitcom, Distinguished Ladies. Free, funny and filling up fast:
July 3rd: http://bit.ly/1ahtCzr
July 24th: http://bit.ly/12mKcZY
“Romeo Beckham is a 10 year-old with impeccable taste” – Christopher Bailey
“The Voice is the Olympics of singing” – Danny from the Script
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|_| |_| 27.06.13 ISSUE 648
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* Ed Balls: equally posh taste in junk
* Quentin’s curious quirks
* Charts: Icona Pop are new number one
>> Crispy business <<
Salt and vinegar of the earth
While Chancellor George Osborne ate his mid-market Byron burger last night, Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls was sat in Rotary Bar, Shoreditch, enjoying a nice pack of crisps. And, as befits a politician sitting by Silicon Roundabout, it wasn’t a packet of Frazzles. He was tucking into Leighton Brown sweet potato, cheese and jalapeno crisps. Like to see him burnish his man-of-the-people cred on Twitter with that.
Popbitch’s favourite gourmet sausage maker…? Lavistown’s Olivia Goodwillie.
>> Rock ‘n’ drole <<
We must have behaved well lately. Every night for months now we’ve said a prayer hoping that the Status Quo action film, Bula Quo, would be good. And our prayers have been answered. Big time.
Here’s an example: Rick Parfitt and Francis Rossi find a doll with a bomb strapped to it.
“It’s a doll!” says Francis
“It’s a bomb!” says Rick
Then they both look at each other and shout “It’s a blow-up doll!” before running out of the room.
Peter Andre’s brother is releasing a mix CD called Summer Vibes.
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Rick Parfitt’s make-up artist at Sky reports that he’s partial to a costume drama. So is this an excellent new euphemism for being a diva, or does he genuinely really like period pieces?
Bye bye Budweiser: US supermarket giants Costco say that 30% of their beer sales now are craft beers.
>> QT fruity <<
Taking a strange direction
“My friend met Quentin Tarantino at an awards show. They got on well and at the end of the night, he invited her back to his room. She wasn’t too keen on the idea, but thought it’s not every day you get the chance to sleep with a massively cool Hollywood director, so she thought “fuck it” and went back with him. Once they were there, they started getting it on, but then as things heated up, he backed off and basically said that he didn’t actually want to have sex with her, but would rather just suck her toes whilst wanking himself off. She was pretty surprised, but agreed, and was actually quite relieved that she didn’t have to sleep with him after all.”
Tour de France commemorative Swedish lesson Fartlek: meaning “speed play”, a training technique based on unstructured changes in pace and intensity.
>> Quizzie rascal <<
No questions; still no answers
It’s not just Dale Winton who has beef with Barbara Windsor. It seems to be endemic throughout BBC Light Entertainment department.
Anne Robinson’s dislike for Babs seems to be so strong that she once specifically insisted the question writers on The Weakest Link never come up with any questions which mention Windsor.
Best guesses for the Dale-Babs frostiness? Still the story that she poked her nose into an affair Dale had with a married man.
>> Go East! <<
Three for the price of one
You can’t keep a good boyband down. East 17 are back!
* Brian Harvey’s doing some Craig David style solo stuff.
* Tony Mortimer sounds like Marti Pellow on his new 60s-tinged single.
But it’s Terry Coldwell who is the true polymath. Not only is he singing on Rednek’s dubstep stormer, Vengeance, but he’s about launch his own fashion label, Terrance Mark. And as you’d expect from the man known in his pop prime as “Tewwy” (the man who wrote a song about that sad place known as Burger Tree) he’s come up with a stonking slogan for his label: Dare Something Worthy.
Listen to Brian/Tony/Tewwy here. John – pull your finger out, man:
Jay from The Wanted said he once upset Cheryl Cole by telling her she had a great wax-work. (He’d just seen her Madam Tussaud creation, he claims).
>> Travel like a celebrity <<
Tips for avoiding the fans
We learned a good trick from Liam Gallagher and cohorts, on the Glastonbury train yesterday.
1. Get one of your party to board the train early.
2. Commandeer the very back set of six seats in the very back carriage of first class.
3. From there, no-one, except the train crew, has any reason to walk past you, stare at you, bother you etc.
4. Wear sunglasses the whole time anyway.
We just asked Neil Tennant what song on the new album we will like most. He says: Thursday, feat Example.
>> Playground tiffs <<
Saatchi: too cruel for school
“I was at school with Charlie Saatchi. We never knew him as Charles! He was notorious for the flick knife he carried and the threats he used to make. I think his biography starts at the age of about 19, i.e. after he left school.”
Charles Saatchi used to own a giant schnauzer named Lulu.
>> Cilla hacked <<
Black marks for suing the help
Two of the latest people to sue News International/UK with regards to phone hacking are Cilla Black and her son. It’s an interesting move from Cilla, tactically speaking, seeing as former and current employees of NI are producing the book she’s due to release for her big ’50 Years in Showbiz’ gig in September.
Fingers crossed they don’t take the lawsuit personally.
Ralph Macchio turns 52 this year, the age Pat Morita was when he first took the role of Mr Miyagi in Karate Kid.
>> Tossed Hoff <<
Not much imagination
David Hasselhoff really knows how to hold a grudge. He is apparently furious with Marvel after they cast Samuel L Jackson in the role of Nick Fury in the recent Avengers movie as it was a part he played in the 90s and was hoping to revisit.
How is he tackling the problem? By launching his very own comic, casting himself in the lead role. ‘The Hoff’ (which was co-written by the Hoff) is about a character called The Hoff, who works as an agent of Heroes Of Fearless Freedom.
Yes. The H.O.F.F.
Josie Gibson, on her nan being jailed: “How can they compare someone who got mixed up in transporting drugs to somebody who fiddles with kids?”
>> Hmmms <<
Danan, nut-crushing, wallabies
It needs a plug-in, but it’s worth it. Pac-Man, as a first-person game:
Truck Stop – largest collection of quality food trucks ever assembled in London. And for boozehounds – the capital’s most inventive margarita mixing machine. 4/5 July: Info and tickets here:
According to the Beanie Baby Handbook, an otter can crush nuts on his chest:
Forget the knitted kangaroo, Australia’s best scandal this week featured a humping wallaby:
Thanks to: CJ, Csidewolf, M, RB, SG, C, bobbifleckmann, GO, toxicshop, kerching, majorbloodnok, richjohnston, JD, GW, PR
Old Jokes Home:
Operation Yewtree raided my classic Telecaster guitar shop last night.
They took away some sexy Fenders.
American comms specialist Nick Pugliese was sent to Kabul to work for an NGO. He then quit his job and signed a professional contract to play football. In Afghanistan. The movie rights must be flying off the shelf…