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The man who took on the banks, MICHAEL LEWIS – author of Liar’s Poker, Moneyball and The Big Short – is coming to London. He’ll be talking Wall Street, whistleblowers and Flash Boys. Thurs 9 April. Tickets 20 quid with code FLASH. Go go go!
http://bit.ly/1vzjZIM
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“I feel like Steely Dan’s presence has never been more felt in music that’s considered hip and vital” – Mark Ronson
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|_| |_|26.02.15 ISSUE 727
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* John Travolta’s sexy subtext
* Ray Quinn’s lessons in respect
* Charts: Ellie v Kelly for no 1
>> Cookolded <<
Rhodes’ unamused bouche
As a chef, you’d imagine that Gary Rhodes would be delighted to see somebody enjoying their food. Apparently not.
At a recent event which Gary attended with his wife, he was heard tutting audibly and unmistakably every time she took a canapé.
Not to kick her while she’s down, but audience reaction to Madonna’s name was so quiet at the BRITs that screams were added to the broadcast.
>> Puppy love <<
Welcoming Paul and Debbie
Kudos to the Dogs’ Trust in Basildon – who have either pulled off a very sly trick or have inadvertently made a bit of a whoopsie.
We’ve no idea if they’ve heard the same, well-known showbiz rumours we’ve all heard (about some photographs of a very satisfied Alsatian) but we’re very much enjoying their decision to name the two newest puppies in their family after…
Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee.
Robbie Williams has been responsible (in part or in whole) for six of the last 25 BRIT-winning Singles of the Year. Bleak, right?
>> Big Question <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Who started the ridiculous rumour that’s been going around MTV this week that Nicole Scherzinger is actually a very convincing ladyboy?
Ed Sheeran won the BRIT for Album Of The Year last night – which fits the 25 year trend precisely:
http://bit.ly/1Ddk42m
>> Brokered promises <<
Don’t get done, get Don
What with all the “Gary Barlow Tax Dodger” stories that have been floating about these last few years, it’s easy to forget quite how fallow the late 90s were for our Gary.
Back in 1999, Gary was trying to arrange mortgage finance so he could buy himself a place in France, but he didn’t have much in the way of income at the time. How did he manage to secure himself a loan? By telling brokers that he was in the process of writing a hit album for Donny Osmond.
Mark Ronson won Single Of The Year at the BRITs for Uptown Funk – which kind of fits the 25 year trend too:
http://bit.ly/1ByXaHS
>> Cockwatching <<
A big surprise…
In hulking great wang news, word reaches us that Simon Calder – the travel writer and presenter – possesses a surprisingly huge cock. Apparently, in his travel show presenting days he was not at all shy about showing off his bulge.
Whether he had to pull down his trousers for a microphone pack to be fitted, or whether it was his choice of rather snug swimwear, his colleagues could scarcely avoid it.
(Legal footnote: it should be noted, especially in current climate, that Simon was very well-behaved around others – and kept it to himself.)
After Nothing’s Going To Change My Love For You, Glenn Medeiros got a degree and teaching doctorate. He’s now a Vice Principal in Hawaii.
>> Pap smears <<
Dubai holiday rules
Given that it is forbidden by law to work as a paparazzo in Dubai, it’s strange how many celebrities who holiday there happen to find themselves being photographed and plastered all over the media.
If you ever do see any ‘papped’ shots of celebs in Dubai, then this is what has happened.
The celebs are likely to have stayed in the Royal Meridien Hotel and will have been given the room for free by the Dubai Tourism Authority in order to help promote the city.
Every one of those pictures in the tabs and the glossies will have to have been arranged beforehand by the celebs and then cleared for use by the Tourism Authority too.
Real celebs (like George Clooney) stay at the Burj Al Arab or the Al Maha. Consequently, they stay well out of any photographs.
>> Pity Brucknell <<
Euro tunnel-vision
Poor Kitty Brucknell. Having tirelessly hauled ass around Europe for months searching for a country who would let her represent them at the Eurovision this year, her hopes have now been dashed.
Switzerland already declined her services back in November and now this week her back-up, Moldova, also dropped her – as just 88 people cast a vote for her in their televised semis.
Kitty is heartbroken, and it’s making us sad to see, so if any countries are still needing an entry for 2015, please do get in touch.
5ive played a low key gig at a Dubai golf club recently. Despite being pop legends, they flew economy.
>> Travolting <<
Multimedia creepiness
Surprising though it was to see a seasoned swordsman like John Travolta being so creepy and unnatural around women at the Oscars, we have to say it wasn’t completely unexpected. In fact, his behaviour rather reminded us of the main character in the one and only work of fiction that John Travolta wrote and published.
In it, an eight year old boy (a plane fanatic) fawns over all of the female characters in a very suspicious manner; while simultaneously whipping himself into a giddy frenzy at the prospect of being given two hot dogs at once in an abandoned airport…
Whatever could it all mean?
We pulled out some of the best quotes in that Travolta book. See what you make of it all:
http://bit.ly/1akblnZ
>> Duff respect <<
Finding the silver lining
One word that gets bandied around whenever celebrities want to keep a story out of the press is “respect”. In particular, celebrities are keen that the press respect the privacy of their family. Which is all very well and good, but it would help if celebs could occasionally lead by example.
Ventriloquist dummy come to life, Ray Quinn, put out a four sentence statement about his divorce this week. Here are two of them:
“Despite this obviously being a very difficult period in my life I am keeping busy with my new music and will be continuing with my UK tour and the release of my new single as planned.”
“For any questions regarding this matter please liaise with Ray’s manager…”
How very respectful!
Nom Dem of the week: The information manager at Compassion In Dying is called… Usha Grieve.
>> London’s Troughman <<
Even more golden moments
citywhiz writes:
“Talking of urinary dedication, there was a chap who used to go to Hampstead Heath at night with his own inflatable paddling pool, so he could be hosed down. While not my scene I had to admire his dedication and to refuse would have seemed impolite.”
Ne-Yo’s real name is Shaffer Chimere Smith. But his dad is also called Shaffer so his mum calls him Chimere (pronounced Shim-ear).
>> Hmmms <<
Charts, cones, creepy eyes
The album charts are changing. James Masterton explains how streaming is altering things:
http://bit.ly/1MRWyjl
We sat down with the Backstreet Boys and got their tips on starting our own boy band:
http://bit.ly/1BfTd9k
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Thanks: RM, JE, citywhiz, HD, fat gay vegan, deep_stoat, meow, ourmanindubai, NC, deidre, bogarts_lung,
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Old Jokes Home:
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me.
Apparently he meant my credit card.
Still Bored?
Long time Popbitch contributor John Eder has a great new sci-fi podcast out. If you’re a fan of Black Mirror, Dr. Who, and the Twilight Zone, listen to To The Manor Borne By Robots here:
http://bit.ly/16n83OQ
