Peak Partridge

  ,– – –,   In little over two years,
 /       \  Intelligent Octopus Go has
(  @   @  ) gone from its launch to
 \   v   /  powering 150,000 electric
 (())|(())  vehicles – creating the
  ))|||((   world's largest 'virtual
power plant' carrying enough flexible
energy to power Birmingham and Leeds!
[Learn more about this milestone here]

Keir Starmer was spotted taking in a bit of culture last week, sat in the stalls at the Olivier Theatre watching the critically acclaimed play, Nye.

We wonder what Starmer made of Michael Sheen’s searing performance as leftie Labour firebrand Nye Bevan – founder of the NHS and scourge of Tories everywhere – as Sheen echoed his fellow countryman’s impassioned plea to protect the health service at all costs.

Not least because the day he saw it was the same day Labour imploded into infighting over the decision to welcome Tory turncoat Natalie Elphicke into the party.

It’s been a terrible few weeks for our old pal, Dylan ‘Dyldo’ Howard. Fingered as a co-conspirator in the Trump hush money trial in the States. Unable to leave Australia to give evidence on medical grounds. And now he’s just had to shutter one of his fledgling media ventures here in the UK.

Since leaving the National Enquirer under a pitch-black cloud, Dylan has been trying to launder his reputation with Empire Media: a company which bought up old, out-of-print titles to try to breathe new life into them.

One such title here in the UK was the beloved Q Magazine – which was brought back as a digital music site last December, ahead of a proposed print relaunch later this year. Sadly, Dylan has monumentally fucked it once again and ended up pulling the plug on the entire operation on Monday with no warning, leaving a team of distraught journalists out of a job and the media landscape all the worse off for his involvement.

Ah, well. Maybe next time…

Which big-time comedian – who loves to make out that he’s not a part of the prissy Hollywood diva set – refuses to leave his hotel on show nights until he’s been shown photographic proof of the temperature of his dressing room at the venue?

Every time you think Noel Edmonds has reached peak Partridge, he just keeps on going.

A photo of Noel wearing two mismatched shoes at a café on the Isle of Man went viral this week. Noel maintains the look is one he consciously cultivated – and that he’s responsible for sparking a fashion trend back home in New Zealand.

A more cynical gossip newsletter might question if Noel was deliberately courting this sort of goofy, fluffy coverage to distract from other, less funny stories. Like reports he abruptly shut down his River Haven estate last month, giving the hospitality staff there just 24 hours’ notice that they were out of a job for the foreseeable future (something he appears to be describing on the estate website as giving the team “a well-earned break”).

So far, so Peartree Productions. But the most Partridge thing he’s done recently? Earlier this year Noel had the workshop that made Peter Jackson’s props for Lord Of The Rings forge him a larger-than-life bronze statue of a knight. He’s stuck it up in the River Haven grounds to commemorate his fight against Lloyds Bank.

Or, as Noel modestly puts it: “A symbol of one man’s tenacity and his ultimate victory!”

A couple of readers recently rented a holiday home out in Dorset and were delighted to discover that Mark Rylance was in the neighbouring cottage. Not only was this exciting for them, it was exciting for their young kids too – who were thrilled to hear that Flop from the CBBC show Bing was staying next door.

The kids spent the week out in the garden, eagerly listening for Mark’s voice to come drifting over the fence. Which it did. Unfortunately peppered with a impressive number of “fuck”s.

Which the kids really loved.

Lembit Öpik was moaning about the sexual nature of Olly Alexander’s Eurovision performance on Saturday night, lambasting the “vulgarity” and “explicit sexual inferences” it contained – even threatening to lodge a complaint with the BBC about it.

It’s interesting to see Lembit on the other side of the complaint procedure for once. It certainly gave former colleagues a grim chuckle, knowing that the reason they no longer see him around their offices is because he’s been disinvited from more than one media job in recent years for his inappropriately suggestive workplace conduct.

GB News’s financial woes continue. Their proposed restructuring has hit a minor snag as many more staff have applied for voluntary redundancy than bosses anticipated.

The firm that’s been brought in to help GB News “streamline the workflow” is called Red Adair. It takes its name from an American firefighter who specialised in extinguishing oil-well fires. Red was well known for being the guy you’d call when your operation suddenly sprung a leak, sparked a fire and then spunked million after million into the air in a huge, uncontrollable mess.

Which seems fitting.

Over the last few weeks Deliveroo’s comms team have been noticing a mysterious YouTube user loitering in the comments sections underneath various videos that negatively critique their brand, sticking up for the company.

At first it looked like a weird Deliveroo superfan, but the details in comments under more recent videos criticising their “Plus” membership scheme made it pretty clear that this mystery defender had to be a company man.

And they were right. He was.

On closer inspection, they noticed the account’s profile picture was one of the company’s CEO, Will Shu, kitted out in a fancy dress outfit from nearly 20 years ago. So the comms team have politely had to ask their boss to knock it off.

Last week, we told you about the hidden history of one of the producers of There’s Something About Miriam: Remy Blumenfeld. In the interests of balance, we should also mention that Remy wasn’t the only producer who worked on that show. There was also Gavin Hay.

Gavin is a fascinating character too, whose career took a bit of an unexpected left turn after the Miriam show. While he stayed in media production in its broadest sense, he cashed out of their production company, moved to Brazil and reinvented himself as a gay porn star – going by the name Trojan Rock.

Star of such movies as Dirty Bent Bastards, .dot cum., and Man Trap: Apply Within.

Richard Ashcroft’s old Ferarri is up for sale
[£45,000]

Maybe you’d prefer an erotic erecting penis necklace?
[Just £65]

Local News Of The Week: Accidental Poo Vandalism edition
[Read on Herald Series]

A long read on the history of LSD and blotter paper
[Read on Aeon]

The Ugly Muppet Toy Awards 2024
[Congrats to a worthy winner]

The Premier League needs more raccoon pitch invasions
[See on NBC]

“Prince Harry was on the decks with me… The only thing he said was ‘make sure you’ve not got the swearing edits of the rap songs'”
[Roman Kemp has a podcast with dad Martin]

The richest woman in Australia is trying to get her incredible portrait removed from the National Gallery
[Read on the Guardian]

Still Bored?
Another incredible new video from Bobby Fingers – this time creating a diorama of Fabio getting smashed in the face by a goose…
[Watch on YouTube]