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THE POPBITCH SUMMER HOLIDAY QUIZ Smiths of Smithfield, Weds 10 Aug. Join host Tom Webb for a big summer quiz night – trivia, gossip, music, politics, arts & crafts and more, 7-9:30pm. Book table/tickets now.
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“EastEnders on a bad night gets 7,000,000 viewers. Once you do EastEnders the next big thing after that can only be Hollywood” – Richard Blackwood
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|_| |_|14.07.16 ISSUE 794
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* Disco goth to the Treasury!
* Andy Coulson: back once again
* Charts: Drake vs Kungs
>> Klum-stuff <<
A five-star service
Rumours have been circulating on the internet about a Heidi Klum sex tape. The story’s come to nothing so far but it doesn’t sound implausible. She certainly has an appetite for adventure.
We know of one five-star hotel in London which once declined a magazine’s request to book a suite for Ms Klum due to some hi-jinks that she had engaged in on a past visit with one of their bellboys.
Posh London hotels are famously accommodating, so heaven only knows the sort of stuff you have to do to get blacklisted…
London City Airport: Naomi Campbell jumping security queue. “All staff went to help her with her bag. Her large rings & sunglasses meant she couldn’t do anything herself”.
>> Murray: Mint <<
Colin is a man of his word
Colin Murray resigned from his radio show this week when News UK bought TalkSport. People who have worked with him suggest he’s always been a man of principle.
We’re told of a time when he agreed to do a last-minute charity campaign but came down with food poisoning from a dodgy sandwich on the day. He still soldiered on through a pretty physical open-air photoshoot, stopping to throw up in the bushes between set-ups.
He didn’t even complain when his own shirt got so badly covered in mud he had to be taken by the client to get a new one for the rest of the shoot, which he insisted on paying for himself.
Francois Hollande spends €9,895 on his hairdresser every month.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which pair of celeb friends act as each other’s wingmen out on the pull at Hollywood Hills parties – always ready to provide a good alibi for each other’s wives?
Which journalist likes being painted as a Native American warrior with a lady’s… erm… monthly ‘warpaint’?
A study by a Texan University shows that 95% of hot tubs host bacteria derived from faeces.
>> Tennis elbowed <<
Spending time with the family
Many tennis fans and pundits watching Wimbledon were struck by Novak Djokovic’s agitated state and odd post-match press conference when he said he was pulling out of some matches to spend some time with his family.
The rumour going around the Bisham Abbey tennis centre this week was that Djokovic was doing the right thing. Things haven’t been so rosy at the Djokovic household since photos were published a few weeks back of the tennis star leaving a nightclub with Bollywood star Deepika Padukone.
RIP Channel U’s Darren Platt, the man credited with making grime and British urban music go mainstream.
>> MTV Most Wanted <<
Gentlemen prefer eights
Richard Blackwood crashed and burned on Celebrity First Dates this week. When his blind date said she didn’t fancy him, Blackwood claimed he was happy with the result. Why? “She’s actually too good. She’s a 10. I like girls that are an 8”.
We can vouch for that. Back when RB was on MTV Select they ran a ropey reality show to find him a sidekick called ‘Is She MTV?’. According to someone who worked on the show, RB did what he could to work his way through the list of contestants, mainly choosing “white girls with large arses and big breasts, and wasn’t too bothered about the face.”
US adults were surveyed on whether they trust the news they get from social media. 4% said yes.
>> The Right Honourable MC <<
Disco goth to the Treasury
Richard Madeley was dishing dirt on the new Chancellor – his old classmate, Philip Hammond – this morning, telling the nation what Popbitch readers have long known about Hammond being a bit of a long-haired goth when at school.
Another interesting detail that Madeley didn’t mention is that Young Hammond was also the owner of a mobile disco, which he ran around Shenfield and surrounding areas in Essex.
He owned a set of decks and a PA, and went halves on the door proceeds with the classmate who was the DJ: Graham Norton.
(Not that Graham Norton, sadly. Another one.)
Owen Smith, challenging Corbyn for the Labour leadership, washes his hands after using the toilet. Unlike Tom Watson.
>> Drinks cabinet <<
Bottoms up, Liam!
Disgraced former minister Liam Fox MP has returned to the cabinet, meaning we now have to refer to him as disgraced current minister Liam Fox MP.
Visitors to Fox’s London Bridge lair tell us that he kept a fridge there that was entirely full of vodka. Apparently his capacity to drink the stuff and then rise early with no hangover was nothing short of astonishing.
Old New Labour Jokes Home
Q/ What is Angela Eagle’s favourite ska band?
A/ De Selecter.
>> Global downturn <<
Getting the house in order
With Brexit biting already, Global Radio have had to cancel their staff party and Global Awards this week, blaming an expected downturn of ad revenue.
Global CEO Ashley Tabor must be crossing his fingers that Brexit contagion doesn’t affect the LA property market. He spent $25 million on buying up a couple of Megan Ellison (daughter of Larry)’s houses overlooking Sunset Strip – and has just had them both totally demolished, ready to rebuild as a properly swanky abode.
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Media Masters podcast: LBC presenter Iain Dale spills the beans on life at the station and his seafront fight with that homeless man to promote Damian McBride’s book. Listen.
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>> Celebrity baby names <<
Dave and Liv; wild at heart
Liv Tyler and Dave Gardner (aka David Beckham’s best mate) had their second child this week, a girl called Lula. Their other child is a boy called Sailor.
If they sound familiar, it’s because Sailor and Lula were the names of Nicholas Cage and Laura Dern’s characters in the oddball David Lynch film, Wild At Heart.
The name of the Philippines National Police Chief who just retired with P100million is… Vicente Loot!
>> PR pressure <<
Lending a helping And
It’s five years to the week since the News of the World closed. Former editor Andy Coulson has been trying to shake off the long shadow cast by all those years of legal action (and subsequent stretch in prison) by starting up a PR consultancy.
Coulson Chappell was spun off from Pitch: the sports PR agency run by Henry Chappell and bankrolled by Matthew Freud (long time friend of both Chappell and Coulson).
Friends say Coulson intended to use his media skills and his political experience to develop a Tony Blair-style international consultancy for high-paying clients and governments whose reputations were in need of a bit of a massage.
Clients have not been easy to come by though, so – despite having no real desire to develop a public profile of his own – Coulson has finally accepted advice that he needed to be seen out and about again.
Favours were duly called in from old friends like Tom Bradby and Piers Morgan – so if you were wondering why Coulson was suddenly appearing on TV as a Brexit analyst, now you know.
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Synthol freaks – men (and a woman) so desperate to get big they injected their muscles with chemical sludge until they deformed or exploded.
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>> Hmmms <<
Words, birds, pigfucking
How big is your vocabulary? Here’s a fun test to find out.
Norwegian slow TV from Hornøya, a small island above the Arctic Circle with thousands of birds.
Leslie Grantham (of Dirty Den and webcam-wanking fame) has written a YA book, and called his main character Jack Bates .
The New Yorker’s take on Brexit.
Jimmy Page, Kevin Shields …Brian May?
A button to make everything OK.
Farewell, David Cameron – proud owner of the third ickiest animal sex rumour of the modern era.
Thanks so much to everyone who donated to us this month for a new email system (which we expect to launch end August).