Pissing Off Kissinger

Now that he’s gone and dropped Charles and Kate in the soup with the Dutch translation of his new book, the press have been quick to rattle up a few SEO-heavy profiles of royal botherer Omid Scobie. One of the more curious parts of his potted history they’ve chosen to focus on is that he used to be ‘close’ to Jodie Marsh during his time as a journalist at Heat.

‘Close’ is somewhat understating it though. Deep in the Popbitch vaults, we have contemporaneous eyewitness accounts of the couple’s exact proximity in the summer of 2003.

The pair put on some very public displays of affection in the VIP room at Propaganda, and fellow patrons maintain they saw at least a few fingertips’ worth of overlap between them at points.

It seems fitting to raise a glass to the memory of Shane MacGowan, one of music’s most legendary lash-hounds – but what’s best to fill that glass with? An old drinking buddy of his recently told us about some of Shane’s favourites.

* Dry Vermouth: “A standard tipple was dry vermouth – triple measure with a glass of ice on the side.”

* Guinness and Barley Wine: “Not particularly nice, but lethal. And very warming on a winter night.”

* Blackcurrant Hooch and Vodka: “In a pint glass (that was Tom the banjo player’s favourite).”

* B’n’B: A while back we told you that Shane once hung out with a Popbitch reader in a beer garden on a baking hot summer’s day where he drank a full pint of Baileys. Apparently it wouldn’t have been straight Baileys. There’d have been a few shots of brandy in it too. Hence “B’n’B” – Baileys and Brandy.

If you can’t decide which of those to go for, don’t worry. You don’t need to choose. Shane would usually have “three or four different drinks lined up in front of him and take sips of whatever took his fancy.”

Which MP has been drunkenly sexting one of their security detail recently?

my_john_thomas writes:
“Your story about Ed Sheeran’s auction lots reminded me of the auction at a Stonewall Equality Dinner at the Dorchester some years ago when Stephen Fry was auctioning off various celebrity items.

“One lot was a pair of signed running shorts, pinned to a board – the shorts Dermot O’Leary had recently run the London Marathon in, and kindly donated. Bidding was sluggish until Fry happened to mention ‘Oh, I forgot to say – they’re unwashed’. Whereupon they became one of the most sought after items of the night and bidding went suitably sky high.”

There’s a Henry Kissinger story that has passed into legend about how he once attended a Grimsby Town FC match as the guest of (then-)foreign secretary Anthony Crosland and became a life-long fan of the team. According to Crosland’s wife, the story isn’t true – but the truth is arguably funnier.

Kissinger did travel up Grimsby way at the request of Crosland in April ’76, but he did not go gladly. In fact, Kissinger was supposedly pretty miffed to be called to a breakfast meeting at RAF Waddingham, 100+ miles outside of London. But he did so as a favour to Crosland who insisted he had to stay close to Grimsby for a very important “constituency appointment”.

It wasn’t until later that Kissinger discovered Crosland’s crucial “appointment” was Grimsby Town v Gillingham. And was even more pissed off as a result.

Harry Maguire is known for his huge head, but he can’t store all that much in there.

At a recent personal appearance, Harry asked organisers not to give him any more than three short sentences to say, as that’s the most he can remember at any one time. Anything more than that requires a teleprompter.

Ever since streaming figures started counting towards Top 40 positions, the December charts have been a bit of a write-off, filling up with the same songs year after year.

Now November isn’t safe either. On this same week:

* In 2021 – Mariah’s All I Want For Xmas was at No.24; Wham!’s Last Christmas was at No.28.

* In 2022 – Mariah’s All I Want For Xmas was at No.18; Wham!’s Last Christmas was at No.23.

* In 2023 – Wham!’s Last Christmas is at No.14; Mariah’s All I Want For Xmas is at No.16.

We heard an interesting bit of trivia this week, that we’re keen to put to reader scrutiny. It’s well-known that former US president Jimmy Carter and Motown founder Berry Gordy share a great grandfather – making them second cousins.

It’s also well-known that Berry Gordon’s son (and nephew) are the self-styled party rockers, LMFAO – of Party Rock Anthem and Sexy And I Know It fame.

What we were told – and are interested to test out – is that LMFAO therefore appear to be the closest relatives of a US president to have had a US (or UK) No.1 hit.

Know of any closer presidential relatives to have had a hit single? hello@popbitch.com

The new TikTok trend? People pissing all over the place
[Read on The Rectangle]

Look at pretty passports from around the world
[The Passport Index]

More dispatches from the front line of the otter wars
[This week: otters v crocodile]

How might Piers Morgan defend a libel action if the Royals choose to sue?
[Read on Press Gazette]

Paul Danan’s memories of Dean Sullivan (aka Jimmy Corkhill)
[Read on Instagram]

A beautiful tribute to Sticky Vicky
[See on Birmingham Live]

Even fake AI writers’ jobs aren’t safe…
[Read on Futurism]

Are celebrity gift guides getting out of control?
[Read on Daily Beast]

Still Bored?
Terry Venables doing his famous Frank Sinatra impression on 80s Spanish TV
[Watch on YouTube]