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| “You can’t buy a decent cheese and pickle sandwich these days without a grape stapled to it” — Jools Holland |
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| #1220 free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
23.01.25 email stories to hello@popbitch.com
* Brewdog bollocks
* A$AP Rocky’s Uber nightmares
* PLUS: Noel Fielding ticc’ed off? |
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| >> More F**kin Problems << |
| A very Rocky Uber rating |
| Corporate gigs aren’t the most exciting thing in the world, so you can hardly blame slebs for getting on it before having to perform hits for conference rooms and Christmas parties.
This week it was the turn of Puma’s Germany HQ, who got to be entertained by none other than… A$AP Rocky (must have been a good Q4).
Everyone was very excited by his appearance – everyone, that is, except Rocky’s driver for the two days he was in town.
After A$AP made a speedy (sorry) departure, his poor driver had to spend the next three days fumigating his van to get rid of the smell of weed. |
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| You Me Bum Bum Train continues to attract star names. There seems to be some consternation within the company this week about the rumour circulating that the special guest Friday might be Michael Sackler, of US opioid epidemic family fame. |
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| >> Call Me Dave << |
| Monaco marginal gains |
| Dave Brailsford might have come to football off the back of a stellar sports guru career, feted by the media, but at Manchester Utd he’s generally thought to be, well, a bit of a prat.No-one’s quite sure what he’s really there to do (apart from say “yes” to anything Sir Jim says) but he’s taken to wandering around Old Trafford and Carrington sticking his nose into everything, explaining his appearance with the phrase:
“I don’t need to be here. I live in Monaco. I’m only here for you guys”. |
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Nominative D
eterminism in gigs? The headliner for the benefit gig for those affected by the LA fires… Earth, Wind and Fire. |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
| Which new intake MP is raising concern in Westminster due to the staggering amount of time she spends weaving through the corridors of power?
Her love of a bev never went unnoticed in her own constituency, where she’s effectively known as “The Plonk-er” for her penchant for holding meetings over wine in the local pub. |
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Fancy yourself as an expert or a talking head? Do you want to get mentioned in the press and not pay a penny? Sign up for Source of Sources, and receive an email with queries from worldwide media twice a day. Respond directly to the reporters, and get quoted in the media.
[It’s that simple] |
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| >> A Frosty reception << |
| Not quite mad fer it |
| Back in 2002 Sadie Frost (inadvertently) almost got Soho House shut down when her two year old Iris swallowed an ecstasy pill at Danny Goffey out of Supergrass’s party at the Soho club.
The club managed to keep its license, although it was forced to introduce close monitoring in the toilets for drug taking and the removal of all flat surfaces that could lend themselves towards gak.
Instead it fitted shelves which tilted on an angle and were duly christened “Goffey Shelves”).
This week Sadie has been back at Soho House where she’s thankfully no longer in the doghouse. She was doing a restrained and sensible talk at Mews House – the new club purely for old members who want a bit of quiet these days.
The days of Britpop debauchery are well and truly over. |
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| Black Sabbath have just been awarded the Freedom of Birmingham. Finally. |
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| >> Ticc’ed Off << |
| Adventures of Noel Fielding |
| Showbiz has been awhirl with rumours about what really caused the shutdown of the Noel Fielding Apple TV show, The Completely Made Up Adventures Of Dick Turpin. (It was cancelled when he failed to turn up to filming, citing a ‘mystery illness”.)
There’s nothing conclusive but insiders claim he’s been suffering for a while now from long covid.
However Noel’s problems aren’t totally covid related. Crew say he also has a massive phobia of tics – not great for a show set in fields and forests. He’s refused to shoot in long or medium length grass (nothing above ankle height) and filming was sometimes delayed for hours as he had to be coaxed out of his trailer.
To add an extra veneer of celeb-style entitlement, Noel is said to have enjoyed the attentions of a Fatigue Coach who accompanied him on set. In theory to limit his action to something manageable, however negotiations often delayed filming further and kept him on set for even longer. |
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| Assumed actors worked hard for their money? The late Alan Rickman gave Jason Isaacs some acting advice on the set of Harry Potter. While watching a Quidditch match, he told a bemused Isaacs: “Do what I do. Absolutely fucking nothing.” |
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| >> Please endorse me << |
| Unlikely connections |
| Once in a blue moon, something interesting happens over on LinkedIn.
This week it’s Iain Dale, spouting off about the Met and the CPS in a post about having to appear in court over a speeding ticket.
Clearly the story resonated with at least one person who bothered to publicly “like” the post : Huw Edwards. |
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| Nominative Determinism of the Week: Austin Bush, doing PR for Manscaped personal groomers. |
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| >> Big Bill << |
| Nominative determinism, 2.0 |
| A Popbitch correction is in order.
Last week we wrote about MP Bill Enderson’s rather amusing new nickname: XL Billy.
We’ve since been informed that XL Billy has actually had a different nickname among those in Westminster who have to deal with him on a regular basis: Bell Enderson.
We’d like to take this opportunity to put the record straight. |
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| The year of the snake is said to bring wisdom and transformation. Are you wise enough already to try 不红 Bu Hong low-alcohol beer? 1.2%, gluten-free, vegan, and 27 calories per can. Use code SNAKE for free shipping for Chinese New Year!
[Order here] |
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| >> Q-I’m a VIP << |
| New Year’s Dishonours |
| Now that Stephen Fry’s getting his knighthood, perhaps he’ll have a better chance of getting VIP treatment.
That wasn’t the case at Ronnie Scott’s back in 2014, when Prince was hosting a select few Hit and Run gigs.
Fans waited in the cold for up to 14 hours to be in with a chance of getting in, so there were understandably some grumbles when Stephen and his partner walked straight to the front so they could be admitted as VIPs.
The hungry, tired and cold crowd immediately went insane, shouting at them for queue jumping. Poor Stephen ended up trying to calm everybody down like he was corralling a particularly unruly episode of QI, while the queue all chanted “Get to the back, get to the back, get to the back”. |
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| The News Corp/Prince Harry settlement yesterday effectively ended the hope that there would ever be another hacking court case putting Murdoch-Brooks etc in the dock. |
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| >> Bald ambition << |
| It’s all downhill from here |
| There are few things Brewdog founder James Watt likes to bang on about as much as his green credentials. Except perhaps his excellent work/life balance.He manages to balance them both at the same time, in fact.
On his commute to Brewdog HQ, James would regularly take a downhill ride to the office on his road bike, before ordering a taxi to pick-up said bike and take it home.
That way he didn’t have to cycle back uphill. |
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| Spotted at a curry house in Essex: James Argent, asking the waiter for a leftovers doggy bag because “my stomach isn’t as big as it used to be”. Then again, he had also ordered a side of chips to go with the curry. |
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| >> Preston Remembers << |
| And Royston has love for its own |
| With poor Paul Danan laid to rest this week we thought we’d share a flavour of the reminiscences we received from those whose lives he touched:
First up – the story behind the Preston-Switch-On fiasco:
T writes: “I was only 8 at the time but my mum was there and remembers that his “Make some motherfucking noise, Preston”
outburst was actually only the straw that broke the camel’s back. He turned up heavily intoxicated; strike one. His second strike came courtesy of his response to being asked on stage why he wasn’t wearing his panto costume. Danan’s answer? “Because it makes me look like a TWAT!”
And, how his local town Royston remembers him:
“He was a patient at my surgery. Always polite, always nice”
“I remember him once in Fattys asking if he could buy me a drink. When I said no he said “your tits aren’t that nice anyway”
“When he tried to ring his mum on a banana…”
“I remember him when he tried to put leaves in a machine at the bookies, hoping they would be read as £20 notes”
“This bloke made going out in Royston very entertaining. RIP Paul”. |
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| Darlings! Looking for that perfect Valentine’s gift? Durrant & Dove’s viciously defaced upcycled vintage porcelain from their French dungeons could be just the ticket. Use code DDgift at checkout to receive a discount on first order.
[Minge-teasing bastard tea cup, anyone?] |
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| >> Hmmms << |
| Potholes, AI, 365 |
| The joys of renting in London
[Read on Reddit]
Inside the British family that gave the world legendary mountain climbers
[Read on The Fence]
Don’t think that just ‘cos they weren’t front and centre at the inauguration with the other tech oligarchs that Microsoft aren’t evil
[Oh good]
A village in Wrexham has so many potholes it’s turned them into a tourist attraction
[Ryan Reynolds if you even care]
AI battles are taking over awards season
[Read on the Guardian]
It’s long and we didnt get to the end of it (Russell Howard is a truly terrible interviewer) but there’s a Robbie Williams story in here
[Thanks Sara Pascoe] |
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| * Popbitch reader/contributor in New Zealand? We want to hear from you! Get in touch – hello@popbitch.com
THANKS TO: DAA, QjS, pd, AW, JE, NZ, T, JL, ET, |
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Old Jokes Home
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “do you have that book for men with small penises?”The librarian looks at her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”
“Yeah that’s the one”
Still Bored?
Black nerdy lesbian vs small-town 90s Britain – who wins? Find out in Heleana Blackwell’s “Attack of the 5ft Woman” at Soho Theatre (Feb 22).
[Info and tickets]
*** WhatsApp us some goss on +44 7923 619540. We’re also on Instagram and our DMs are open (@p0pb1tch)*** |
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