Bold enough to buy your nearest and dearest a sex toy for the holidays? Because this Black Friday, LELO is offering some incredible discounts on their sizzling range of sex toys. Don’t worry if not. They’re also giving away luxury make-up sets with every purchase too. It’s up to you which one you keep… [Get an extra 5% off with code POPBITCH5] |
|
|
|
“Occasionally I looked at myself and thought, ‘You know, I’d punch myself in the face'” – James Blunt |
|
|
|
|
Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* The Jeff Bezos face-boat
* Esther McVey’s common sense
* PLUS: The new Tara P-T? |
|
|
|
>> Cabin pressure << |
A law Owen to himself |
Owen Wilson was one of the passengers on a flight from London to LA this week and was every bit as Owen Wilson-y as you would hope.
During the flight, he decided to do a full yoga session in the exit row seats, getting in the way of the crew and fellow passengers, before falling asleep through the main food service.
Then when he woke up, he popped his head into the galley and asked for a large portion of cheese. |
|
|
|
Interesting detail in the Louis Theroux/Pete Doherty interview: Pete used to use New Zealand butter to slip drugs up his arse before court cases. Nice to know that, even at rock-bottom, he maintained some standards. |
|
|
|
>> Freudian clip << |
Happy birthday, Matthew! |
Remember that scene in Succession where Kendall performs a rap he’s written for his dad at a big anniversary do? Too far fetched, right? Not the sort of thing that kids of well-connected media men would actually do in real life.
In real life, they’re obviously far more likely to write a 15 minute medley of pop songs – with lyrics all retooled to be about their dad – then shoot a video of it for everyone to watch at his 60th birthday party. Or on YouTube afterwards.
That’s what Matthew Freud’s kids did, at least.
[NSFW lyrics; SFW video] |
|
|
|
Karlie Kloss (Ivanka Trump’s sister-in-law) has bought i-D from Vice Media. |
|
|
|
>> Big Questions << |
Who’s asking what this week? |
Which comedian gets her PA to break in her Doc Martens for her – sending the poor lackey out to pound the pavement in tight, ill-fitting boots until they’re comfy enough for her own feet? |
|
|
|
You may not need a mover right this second, but one day you will – and you’ll want a discount when the time comes. So here’s the deal. Register with Relōku now, and if you need their highly vetted, highly trained removals teams in the next year, you can claim your 20% discount then with code SUP-BITCHES20. Whether it’s moving house, transporting cargo or heading out on tour, their tech-enhanced services can handle anything. [Find out more at Relōku] |
|
|
|
>> Beer goggles << |
Not quite what it looks like |
Madison Beer has been doing a huge victory lap around social media this week, announcing she’s now a Grammy-nominated artist. Sadly, she appears to have got the wrong end of the stick.
While it’s true her album Silence Between Songs has been nominated, it’s in the Best Immersive Album category – which means the only person who stands to win the Grammy is mastering engineer Aaron Short.
Madison won’t see a Grammy whatever the outcome – but that hasn’t stopped her from posting messages to all platforms trumpeting her imagined success and soaking up the adulation from fans.
And all without a single word of acknowledgement of Aaron. |
|
|
|
Last weekend’s matches saw every team in the Spanish football top tier score a goal. Something which hasn’t happened since 1960. |
|
|
|
>> Full of Grace << |
Not afraid of confrontation |
Nigel Farage is the shock signing for this year’s I’m A Celebrity and obviously who producers are hoping will be the big magnet for drama – but Grace Dent might be a bit of a dark horse on that front. Especially if she starts becoming popular with her fellow campmates.
Stories of Grace’s inflated sense of grandeur in her early days of Twitter are the stuff of media legend. One story that still gets told is the time she summoned a colleague to lunch one day in order to announce face-to-face that she and her friends would be unfollowing them on Twitter. |
|
|
|
Farage is getting a reported £1.5m for his stint in the jungle. Every celeb in the first series of I’m A Celeb got the same flat fee: £15,000. |
|
|
|
So here’s the story from A-to-Z. Join Mollie King as she takes you through a short history of girlbands – charting the evolution from TLC to FLO, Girls Aloud to Little Mix. Listen to the brand-new podcast on BBC Sounds right now. [Where It’s At: A Short History Of Girlbands] |
|
|
|
>> Identity crisis << |
Navigating the morale maze |
NewsUK had a town hall event this week, where staff got to ask questions of the top brass. One question, posed by someone fairly senior, asked if TalkTV would ever follow GB News’s lead and get guest-presenters on like “Carole Malone or Martin Branning”?
The reference drew some big ooofs in the room, but a fellow senior bod responded laughingly, saying he didn’t expect to see Martin Branning on TV anytime soon.
Martin Branning is, of course, the alleged alias of Dan Wootton – who stands accused of using that fake identity to catfish and sexually harass a number of former colleagues.
We’d be the last people to try to stop anyone from cracking gags at Dan Wootton’s expense. However, given that almost all of the Branning allegations relate to a time when he was on NewsUK’s payroll (many of the alleged victims therefore being NewsUK employees; likely to be at the event in question) we do wonder if an all-staff meeting was really the best place. |
|
|
|
Def Jam co-founder Russell Simmons has re-emerged after getting #MeToo’d. He’s currently running an all-vegan holistic wellness centre in Bali which offers hot yoga, cryotherapy and no extradition treaty with the US. |
|
|
|
>> Double trouble << |
Got her newswires crossed |
Esther McVey’s appointment as Minister for Common Sense has reassured precisely no-one that Rishi Sunak’s new cabinet means business – and not without good reason.
A few years back, when Esther first started juggling her duties as an MP with a hosting gig on GB News, she was required (as all MPs are) to declare the income she earned from it in the Register of Members’ Interests. For some reason though, Esther registered her first two £1,950 paycheques as having come from Rupert Murdoch’s company.
On paper it looked extremely fishy, but there was a perfectly simple explanation. Esther was just absolutely oblivious as to who owned the channel she appeared on and who was cutting her cheques. She only ended up correcting the record when a journalist emailed to ask her if she knew there was a difference between GB News and News UK.
Apparently she didn’t. |
|
|
|
In among all the political demotions this week, none was more brutal than Greg Hands’ – who was kicked out as Tory Chairman mere hours before his birthday. |
|
|
|
>> Food for thought << |
Why pay, when you can not? |
Every so often the aristo class offers up one of their own to entertain the nation. The latest is Freddy Knatchbull, a Made In Chelsea bit-parter who has been making a decent pitch to be his generation’s Fergie or Tara P-T this week.
His credentials:
* His great grandfather was Lord Mountbatten
* He is writing a children’s book about pugs when he’s not on MIC
* He wants to open a food business because “food sells so much”
* He doesn’t actually like to pay for food himself though: “The best thing I’ve ever done is apply for Pingfluence. You get a free meal if you post a story about it. Some people think that’s a bit cheap, but why would I spend money on a really good meal when I can get one free?” |
|
|
|
BLACK FRIDAY: At Rise & Fall we’re making a rare departure from our no-sales approach, with 15% off sitewide for a limited time only. Indulge in our well-edited world of affordable bedding, cashmere, apparel and more. This is our only sale of the year. Free delivery over £75 and extended 60-day returns. [Shop now at Rise & Fall] |
|
|
|
>> Hmmms << |
Hippos, hardmen, houses |
Prince’s Purple Rain clothes are up for auction [See them here]
Pablo Escobar’s randy gakked-up hippos are getting the snip [Read on Nature]
Fun interactive article on music genres [Read on Pudding]
Jim Davidson has been reducing the price on his house, if you want a bargain? [Just £1.5m now]
How tech founders are funding the search for aliens [Read on 404]
The Fence asks Who Is Britain’s Hardest Politician? [Read the answers]
Gwyneth Paltrow’s skiing court case is being turned into a musical [Read on Rolling Stone] |
|
|
|
Thanks to: NB, mount_st_nobody, FC, SN, L, K, AS, A99, AP, JVW, PJ, AM, bitch_with_the_accent, IF |
|
|
|
Old Jokes Home
I mixed up the word “jacuzzi” with “yakuza”. Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.Still Bored?
A few weeks ago, we linked to some nudist beach figurines you can buy for miniature railways. If you really want to put on a show, you can get motorised shaggers too… [See them here] |
|
|
|
|
|