Rooting The Messenger

You’d think, given all the trouble they’ve been causing in Hollywood recently, that NDAs would be on their way out. Instead, they’re doubling down.

At LA’s hot new hangout, the San Vincente Bungalows, not only do you have to sign a standard NDA on the way in (while they put stickers on your phone’s camera lenses, front and back) you then have to sign a second agreement which prevents you from talking to anyone “outside of your group”.

You thought phone-hacking was bad? The British tabloids have got nothing on the Libyan security services.

When Colonel Gaddafi’s son, Al-Saadi, was living in Sydney, he developed quite an infatuation with Nicole Kidman. His former minders remember with a chuckle how they then took it upon themselves to rent an apartment next door to hers in Milsons Point.

Then drilled holes in the walls to install bugs throughout so that they could give some very detailed reports back to their charge.

According to one former conquest, which male member of the Sex And The City cast is packing a pair of nuts “the size of lemons”? (Apparently they’re nowhere near as juicy though. Their output was next to nothing…)

Remember the recent heartwarming story that Melinda Messenger had found love again with the man she’d met on Celebrity First Dates? Well, it’s over.

Sadly it seems she’s had her head turned by somebody else. A man who’s made a career out of convincing people to make bad decisions that they’ll end up coming to regret.

Piers Morgan’s publicist.

JP writes:
“I was working on a film in the early 90s starring Robert de Niro. de Niro had it written into his contract that he was allowed to view all the rushes from the scenes he featured in and could give notes to the director on which takes he preferred of his own performance.

“I had to sit in one screening to take his notes. There was no entourage, just me and him in an empty theatre. I was sat there with my notepad scribbling down his thoughts on each take when, about 20 minutes into the 90 minutes of material we were viewing, I noticed he had gone quiet.

“I turned to the seat next to me and he had completely fallen asleep. I sat there wondering whether I should get the projectionist to stop or wake him up, but did neither. He dozed through a good 20-25 minutes of material until he finally woke himself up with a snort and immediately looked up at the screen and said ‘That was a good take. I like that one, make sure they use that one.'”

The arrest of Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin in the big college bribery scandal has grabbed most of the headlines, but our favourite parent among the 50 arrestees is Jane Buckingham.

The FBI says that it has Jane on tape admitting that her son is thick as pigshit, explaining that getting him into a good school would be akin to curing cancer or brokering peace in the Middle East.

But how exactly did Jane make her money? As a marketing guru, best known for founding a trend-forecasting consultancy called… Youth Intelligence.

For the second time this decade, a Florida DJ called Bubba The Love Sponge has inadvertently become a central figure in a hugely contentious debate about free speech.

In 2016, a sex tape that Bubba made of Hulk Hogan shagging his wife ended up bringing gossip site Gawker to its knees. Now, controversial comments that Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson made on old episodes of Bubba’s radio show have emerged, causing an advertising exodus at Fox that could put Carlson’s job in jeopardy.

So who exactly is Bubba The Love Sponge? How is he managing to cause so much collateral damage? And why should we be taking the story of a man who named himself after a contraceptive spunk sop seriously?

We’ll try to explain…

[Read ‘Bubba/Tucker’ on Popbitch]

Our ears pricked up during Tuesday’s episode of EastEnders, when Mitch Baker decided to pose the classic Popbitch Baboon v Badger question to his family. And what did the characters all think?

Bernadette Taylor: “Baboon, I reckon. They live in Africa, surrounded by predators. Proper predators – lions, tigers, cheetahs. They’ve got to be tough to survive.”

Bailey Baker: “Badger.”

Keegan Baker: “Who cares who’d win a stupid fight?”

[Watch on iPlayer, from 21’00]

We don’t know much about landscape management or environmental protection, but we’ve been reliably informed that the last remaining ferret that’s being given a government stipend to help manage the rabbit population in Wales is up for retirement.

While we wouldn’t dream of insisting that this ferret should work beyond retirement age, unless a replacement ferret is found soon then the words ‘Ferret Allowance’ will be at serious risk of being scrubbed from the official national audit – getting rolled into the much drearier sounding ‘Animal Insurance’.

So if anyone has any fit, healthy and potentially murderous Welsh ferrets in their possession, step up. Your country needs you.

Tomorrow’s Cheltenham Gold Cup will see a large contingent from Manchester United head down to cheer on Sir Alex Ferguson’s entry Clan Des Obeaux (which is the big tip we’ve been hearing all week).

Fergie has been a popular figure at the festival, happily taking selfies with all and sundry. Other popular ex-football figures swanning about in the VIP hospitality area include Alan Brazil, Martin Keown, Glen Johnson and Dean Saunders.

The person having the most fun though? Alan Brazil’s wife. She was on a real winning streak yesterday, proudly showing off her winning tickets to anyone who would look. She backed the winners in the first three races too – all with £100 stakes – so if you’re looking for a hot tip, she’s the one to hit up.

FYI: If you want our tips for tomorrow, this is your last chance to sign up for our bonus betting mailer.

More popstar real estate news: Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters is selling his place
[View the property]

Here’s the catalogue for The George Michael Collection at Christies
[Scroll through it online]

An interview with Icelandic Eurovision upstarts Hatari
[See at Independent]

There’s two weeks to save The Social
[See on Crowdfunder]

Local news of the week
[Read in Hull Daily Mail]

Limited time only: the new Cavallo Magnifico Burger 14 at the Lord Nelson – a prime horse burger from Borough Market
[Eat at Lord Nelson]

K-Pop gets dark
[Read on the Guardian]

Rare Chris Morris interview about his new film
[Read on THR]

Still Bored?
Season 3 of The The One Show Show – the podcast that dissects the week’s One Shows – has just started up
[Listen on Acast]