Scents And Sensibility

Talk of the music industry’s #MeToo moment has ebbed and flowed over the last few years but it seems the discussion is picking up some momentum again in light of the recent R Kelly trial.

How nervous has it got UK music execs? Well, someone somewhere is obviously feeling a little spooked because we hear there’s a person calling around the industry pretending to be Popbitch, fishing to see if anyone’s been talking to the makers of a possible upcoming documentary.

Flattered though we are to be imitated, whoever is posing as us has got the voice all wrong. If you’d like some pointers on how to really nail the impression, why not give us a call? We’d love to chat…

Piers Morgan has been making some demands at his new home, TalkTV. Milking his position as the channel’s flagship talent, Piers has requested a big dressing room with an en suite shower. On paper, that doesn’t seem unreasonable. The problem is that he wants it on the same floor as the expensive new studio, even though there’s not really any room to spare.

So, to accommodate Morgan – who refuses to have the dressing room of his dreams built on a floor where there’s actually some space – an entire department is now being relocated elsewhere in the building to make room for it. All for the sake of a dozen or so steps.

Piers ought to be careful. Mariah Carey got her start not doing stairs. Before he knows it, he’ll be doing his interviews with a wind machine.

Which publishing house throws two Christmas parties: one with a high-earning but ‘difficult’ author of theirs – and then another one without?

Richard Madeley has finally been signed up for I’m A Celebrity – and producers will be glad they’ve got him on a year when they’re filming in a Welsh castle rather than the jungle.

Madeley has previously filmed a segment for IACGMOOH’s spin-off show in which he was made to lie down and have snakes crawl all over him. Producers soon had to intervene however and request that he do something to tuck his penis in a little more tightly as it kept lolling about unnervingly in his shorts. On camera, it had the effect that one of the snakes had slithered its way up there and was doing something very unnatural to him.

With Emily Ratajkowski’s recent claim that Robin Thicke groped her on the set of the Blurred Lines video, it won’t come as much of a surprise to learn it wasn’t the only shoot of his that was dripping in slime.

After turning up hours late to the set of DJ Cassidy’s Calling All Hearts video in 2014, Thicke made his entrance by apologising to the crew: “Sorry I’m late. I had to wash the smell of pussy off me.”

He then filmed his part and left with one of the models he’d just met on the set.

A quick story from our deja vu desk: Jodie Marsh is trying to sell those infamous army camo tit belts of hers. Again.

You have to admire her tenacity. Anyone else trying to publicly flog the same two loops of material for nearly ten years now might have given up hope that she’d ever find a buyer – but not Jodie.

She first pledged to sell them for charity in 2012 if she reached 200K followers on Twitter. She reached 200K followers, but somehow still had the belts in her possession to offer up again for a different charity in 2016. That was when she got a load of press coverage for raising £150,000 on eBay by selling the very same belts.

Mysteriously, she still had them in 2019, when she listed them on Depop, seemingly for personal profit.

Now, in 2021, they’re back up for sale for another good cause. This time, the profits are promised to Fripps Farm Animal Rescue. Run and operated by… Jodie Marsh!

While most Love Island winners can look forward to a lucrative few years of flogging swimwear, hair serums and self-tan on Instagram, recent winner Liam Reardon is going in a bit of a different direction.

His people are currently emailing around trying to cast him as a possible nature writer and outdoors expert – looking to see if he can get a column somewhere writing about the Welsh countryside.

It makes sense that Julio Iglesias was one of the celebs who cropped up in the Pandora Papers. Making large, sneaky deposits in places he shouldn’t is very on-brand for him.

Crew members on a big tour of Julio’s vividly remember the time he came to join them outside a venue in Spain for a chat by the crew’s bus. It’s standard etiquette in the business that toilets onboard a tourbus are reserved for No.1s only. Anything solid should be disposed of elsewhere.

But after chatting for a while, Julio disappeared onto their bus for a few minutes, before re-appearing briefly to say his goodbyes.

It was only when the crew piled back on the bus to undertake the next leg of the journey that they discovered what Mr Smooth had been up to. He’d left a log of such gigantic proportions that the term “doing a Julio” was coined to describe the size of one’s shit.

Last week, we mentioned that Vanilla Ice had re-recorded a version of Ice Ice Baby that encouraged people to fiddle with their fridge settings to tackle climate change (“Reduce Your Ice Ice Baby”).

Sadly, it seems the masterminds behind this campaign (Samsung) have since had a change of heart. Last Friday, the video on YouTube was set to private; the /vanilla-ice URL they’d set up on their company website now redirects to their homepage and there is zero mention of the campaign anywhere on Samsung’s official channels.

The Curse Of Popbitch striking again? Maybe. But it probably has more to do with the fact that Vanilla Ice followed up the big announcement of his partnership with Samsung to spread the message of sustainability by… immediately tweeting pictures from the inside of his private jet.

There was a big gig in Hastings at the weekend which saw loads of 90s acts dusting off their songs to play on a star-studded line-up. One Popbitcher was there, and gave us these flash reviews of the highlights.

S Club 2: “Bradley was off his head, wearing a Nirvana T-shirt and insisting on doing an a cappella outro to every song”

5ive (now technically 3hree): “Went a bit anti-lockdowny and played not one but two new singles”

911: “Spent most of the time on the floor, trying to revive their breakdancing days forgetting they’re all in their 40s. One of them wasted time trying to do some ‘crowd work’ and hit on girls in the front section.”

Gareth Gates: “Surprisingly good”

Sadly, no-one was free to pop over to neighbouring St Leonards where snooker legend Steve Davis did a trance DJ set last Thursday.

If you missed Vanilla Ice’s eco-campaign, the Wayback Machine caught it
[Bad luck, Samsung!]

The CIA’s official verdict on otters
[Read on Twitter]

How did celebrities come to be wrapped up in the Pandora Papers
[An explainer]

Hall & Oates x Nine Inch Nails
[Listen on YouTube]

Whatever happened to Ronald McDonald?
[Read on Vice]

A nice archive of public information comics
[Comics With Problems]

A few months ago we pointed out Pitchfork had given Peppa Pig’s album a better score than Daft Punk’s Discovery. This week, they’ve rescored it.
[Justice 4 Peppa]

Otter gang wars in Singapore
[Watch on Twitter]

Is the end nigh for bad cover versions on movie trailers?
[Read on Gawker]

Still Bored?
White Noise – the new play by Pulitzer winner Suzan-Lori Parks – makes its European premiere at the Bridge Theatre this autumn. Popbitch readers can get 2-for-1 tickets with promo code WNPOP241 for Mon-Thu performances until Nov 11th; subject to availability.
[Info and tickets here]