Snowstorm

The persistent backroom chatter about cocaine in Westminster doesn’t seem to be blowing over anytime soon. In fact, it’s causing a pretty hefty rift in the already rift-heavy Tory party: between those who are appalled at the use of cocaine in Parliament (read, a bunch of senior Tories) and those who fucking love getting the bag in (read, a bunch of the 2019 intake).

The “traces of cocaine” story that made the papers last December was supposed to serve as a bit of a warning shot to the errant gak fiends, but it clearly didn’t work.

Briefings have been ramping up behind the scenes recently with Parliamentary colleagues turning on one another, making some pretty serious and pretty specific allegations about who’s been doing what (and how much of it) in the hopes that the story breaks – so they can maybe clear house a bit ahead of the next election.

It’s that time of year when the Glastonbury rumourmill goes into overdrive with talk of secret sets. Among the less insane ones to pass our eyes this year:

* Anderson .Paak TBA for Sunday

* A secret Chemical Brothers set at Arcadia

* Arcade Fire and Green Day to play

It’s also been noted that LCD Soundsystem are playing a string of London gigs the following week, so will likely be in the country. War On Drugs are playing Bristol on Monday 27th too, so might swing by. And Paolo Nutini’s name keeps cropping up as well.

The biggest name going around though is Harry Styles, but not necessarily because he’s playing a set himself. The rumour is that he’ll be joining Billie Eilish.

Which rising media star is making sure all the old creepy industry traditions are preserved for the next generation, by using his new position to offer work experience placements to anyone who catches his eye – then flirtatiously telling them “…and that’s not all you’ll get”?

Pete Doherty has been out giving interviews ahead of the release of his new memoir today, telling people that he hasn’t actually read it and didn’t even know the book he was giving interviews for would be written in the first person.

It’s worth taking his words with a pinch of salt though because Pete’s got form with selling stories without getting his fingerprints all over them.

When he was on tour with the Paddingtons, he used to give them stories to leak to the tabloids on him – and then they’d split the cash.

Snapping at fans and telling them to fuck off is not the sort of thing you’d expect from a mild-mannered actor like Tom Hanks – yet today’s papers are filled with reports of him doing just that.

Maybe QAnon are on to something? For the last few years, a notable conspiracy theory that has flourished among the Q-following fringe is that Tom Hanks has been replaced by a double.

The real Tom Hanks? They believe he was one of the major players in Hollywood’s elite sex trafficking ring. As such – using his Covid quarantine as a cover – he was arrested and sent to Guantanamo Bay. Or possibly executed by the military.

Either way, a very simple explanation for this little outburst.

With Stranger Things introducing her to a whole new generation, and Running Up That Hill headed for No.1 – we’re looking forward to the Kate Bush renaissance.

Donald Sutherland starred in the Cloudbusting video and remembers being invited personally by Kate to do so after he initially turned the offer down. She appeared at his hotel room to explain her vision for the video and he was so enamoured with her that he agreed.

However, the first morning of the shoot, Donald was surprised to see Kate emerge from her trailer first thing smoking a joint. He cautioned her, telling her she shouldn’t smoke weed as it could affect her work.

Kate gave poor Donald a second to sit with his words. Then had to break it to him that she hadn’t been ‘straight’ for about nine years…

Having lost a full 90% of his audience since opening night, now rustling up 30,000 viewers at a push, Piers Morgan’s future on TalkTV has been an evergreen topic of gossip among media types. A couple of weeks ago the Telegraph ran a piece suggesting that Murdoch’s finger has started hovering over the kill switch.

It would be a very costly move. Insiders say that Piers’ contract is pretty watertight (he had Elisabeth Murdoch helping him negotiate it, after all) and Rupert would still be on the hook for £15m a year for the full three years. But does that mean he won’t?

Well, we’ll hopefully have a clearer picture of his intentions before too long – because Rupert is currently in London…

Bittersweet news for John Hinckley Jr fans. The man who attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan in 1981 has just been released from court-ordered supervision after 41 years – but has just had his first acoustic solo gig cancelled. He was chalked in to play the Market Hotel in Bushwick, Brooklyn on July 8th but the venue has just announced they’re pulling out.

A shame for fans, but if you do want to hear his stuff – he’s on YouTube.

[The John Hinckley Channel]

The Winklevoss Twins are in a band and they cover Rage Against The Machine
[Watch a clip]

The last Readers’ Wifes set from Duckie at the RVT
[Listen on Spotify]

The Dorchester Hotel is auctioning off a load of stuff
[No olive oil paddling pools, sadly]

An explainer about the chart rules that have been pissing Kate Bush around these last few weeks
[Read on BBC]

An interview with the man who is Tom Cruise in Spanish
[Read on MEL]

Headline Of The Week: “Ed Sheeran’s Back To Gifting People Giant Penis Sculptures”
[Read on Metro]

We’ve told you about the UK reputation managers Johnny Depp used; here’s the US side of the story
[Read on Gawker]

Inside the proposed Prince Andrew reboot
[Read on Daily Beast]

The Scooby Doo Mystery Machine is going on AirBnB
[See it here]

Still Bored?
One man’s story of trying to track down Michael Flatley’s mysterious self-funded film, Blackbird
[Read on The Fence]