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Popbitch Quiz is back! Roundhouse, Camden, Thur 1st May. 7pm til late. Get there early for 2-for-1 mojitos. Book your table for live music round/games/arts & crafts/loads more. 5 quid PP. http://bit.ly/PY4iqF
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“When you’re dancing your pants off, nobody’s looking at your shoes” – Scarlett Johansson
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|_| |_| 11.04.14 ISSUE 685
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* The real-life dramas of daytime TV
* Bum fun with Martha Stewart
* Charts: Sigma v Vamps to be no. 1
>> Duke of dork <<
Daniel’s causing a stur
Robbie Keane had his somersault, Gareth Bale persists with that ridiculous heart thing but Daniel Sturridge’s dance is about to really, really get on your tits. He’s been asking producer Duke Dumont to make a house track for him “based around my dance” before the World Cup.
Worryingly, we don’t think Mr Dumont has said no yet.
The Perils Of Live Blogging: mirror.co.uk this week, “Live – Peaches Geldof dead”.
>> Little and large <<
The comedy of Manford’s manhood
Max Clifford isn’t the only celeb who is said to like banging on about their tiny member. It’s the subject of much of Jason Manford’s chat when he meets someone online. But if they do end up in bed together, everything changes. What Jason likes at that point is for his playmates to tell him how big his penis is. Over and over again.
John Travolta stays on LA time wherever he travels, including mealtimes.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week
Which international pop superstar has been developing a roaring coke habit? At a Hollywood Hills party she was so muntered she couldn’t walk in a straight line and fell in the swimming pool. (You won’t guess; she’s a dark horse…)
After reinventing soccer in the USA, David Beckham is turning his attention to malt whisky. He’ll be launching the “Haig Club” later this year.
>> Dirty business <<
Martha gets the thumbs up
There are many upsides to being a rich, older celebrity. Your fame can come in quite handy to help snare that hot young thing at your favourite restaurant. But there are some downsides too. Such as how fun it will be for them to gossip about you. Which means that their friends will know all about how you like having their fingers stuck up your arse.
As Martha Stewart is currently finding out…
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Issue Two of Popbitch Magazine is OUT NOW. Filled with longer features, infographics, cartoons, insider columns, and more weird and wonderful stories you won’t find anywhere else.
All brand new. Different to the mailout. Download the app from Newsstand here: http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
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>> Disappeared, here <<
Peaches fails to make the 27 club
Peaches Geldof obits rarely mention her short-lived stint as a magazine editor/publisher. But the first issue of her Disappear Here featured a debate on what celebrity will be next to die at 27 – the age at which Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain all perished. They didn’t manage to predict Amy Winehouse. Their suggestions? Ashley Cole and Craig David.
If you haven’t heard it – Sigma’s number one contender is a brilliant drum and bass remix of Kanye’s Bound 2. Buy it.
>> Irish missed <<
My goodness, Mcguinness
Big Ben, Westminster cockwatcher has been at it again:
“At the State Banquet for the President of Ireland I was most excited at the prospect of seeing Martin McGuinness’ weapon when he walked in to the loos.
However his security cleared everyone out. Therefore I did not see his cock.
Man in Singapore arrested for biting a policeman. His name? Bai Ting.
>> Loose lipped <<
Holmes under the hammer
When he was a host on GMTV, Eamonn Holmes had such a spectacular bust-up with his boss, Martin Frizell, it has become the stuff of legend.
Eamonn didn’t let it lie when it came to writing his autobiography and took the time to give Frizell a trashing in print – thinking this would give him the last word.
Frizell was not pleased by this, and has been waiting to take his revenge ever since.
Now Martin Frizell has been brought in to try to save ailing daytime show Loose Women. How that will work out for regular Loose Woman, Ruth Langsford (a.k.a. Mrs Holmes), remains to be seen.
RIP Señor Jesus Labrador – the best named of the Venezuelan protestors.
>> Popart <<
Bitching about the dead
To the world, Robert Mapplethorpe is best known as a photographer. To his friends though – and, in particular, his neighbours – he was better known for the specialist Brown parties and Yellow parties he used to throw in his studio.
When his neighbours would complain about the stench of piss and shit in the building, Mapplethorpe denied all culpability, explaining that as he always laid black bin liners on the floor before things got going, it couldn’t have been anything to do with him.
FYI: For a while, Robert De Niro was one of these neighbours.
Evan Davies was spotted in the Chiswick House gardens, frolicking with his dog (who appears to be called Whippy). He was also sporting double denim.
>> Hmms <<
Pop, new age, poo
Crazy Russian badger gives bulls in china shops a run for their money:
http://bit.ly/1hhh6mX
Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy) explains pop hits:
http://slate.me/1qn6epX
Barrister goes to court to blog on case. Then dobs himself in for contempt of court:
http://bit.ly/1iADwvL
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Thanks to: monstris, olrik, SK, PK, danceswithmustelids, BD, MG, mountstnobody, JF, smillsy, GO
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Old Jokes Home:
Q/ What’s the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school?
A/ I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
Still Bored:
Pop star Kamaliya reported from the Kyiv protests for us – now she’s back doing what she does best.
And it concerns some “strange horseys”:
http://bit.ly/1kzFByL
