What sort of orgasm personality are you? LELO will not only help you determine your type with pinpoint accuracy, but its brand new toy – LELO Dot – will give you as many orgasms as you can handle. Pinpoint your pleasure with the unique elliptical movement of LELO Dot’s soft bendable tip.
[Take the test, win a gift and Dot your Os with LELO] |
|
|
|
| “I can’t text. Everything comes out like a haiku.” – Carly Rae Jepsen |
|
|
|
|
|
Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Corden’s textual troubles
* Celebrity customer reviews
* PLUS: Justice – GB News style |
|
|
|
| >> Salad days << |
| A celebrity love potion |
|
It hardly seems important now, given all that’s happened in the last 48 hours, but if you’re still interested in learning how to make that special salad dressing Olivia Wilde swears by – the one that ensnared Harry Styles and caused Jason Sudeikis to throw himself under a car – here’s how.
INGREDIENTS
2 tbsp Grey Poupon Mustard
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
6 tbsp olive oil
METHOD
Mix the mustard and vinegar together, then slowly whisk in the olive oil, adding gradually.
Use sparingly. May cause marital drama on an unprecedented scale. |
|
|
|
| I Can’t Sing: The X Factor Musical managed a longer run in the West End (45 days) than Liz Truss did in Downing Street before resigning (44 days). |
|
|
|
| >> Coffee mourning << |
| No seat at the table |
|
England’s Euros hero Harry Maguire has been having a torrid time lately. A loss of form has meant he hasn’t been able to get into the Manchester United team.
This morning, Harry was spotted walking into Hale Village’s high-end coffee and smoothie bar, The Garden – but the cafe was entirely full and he couldn’t find a space for himself. So he walked outside and cast a longing glance over at the outdoor seating. Alas, there wasn’t even a place for him on the bench.
So a mournful looking Harry walked back off to his car and left. |
|
|
|
| A new record for the most swears on the BBC? Last night’s edition of Radio 4’s The Skewer contained 24 “fucks” and 22 “cunts” in just 15 minutes. [Listen here] |
|
|
|
| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
|
Which curmudgeonly comedian once baffled hotel housekeeping by leaving a raw turkey out on the dressing table of his room for the duration of his stay? |
|
|
|
Drag Race legends Willam, Cheryl Hole, River Medway, Victoria Scone and superstar drag king LoUis CYfer are blessing the West End with a brand-new heavenly dose of murder mystery comedy in Death Drop: Back In The Habit. When a serial slasher makes their way through the Sisters of St Babs convent, the nuns need to get fierce to save their souls this November!
[Tue 8th-Sat 19th Nov at the Garrick] |
|
|
|
| >> Fanny girl << |
| Something for the poster |
|
After all the drama surrounding Lea Michele taking over from Beanie Feldstein as Fanny Brice on Broadway, glowing reviews for Funny Girl have been steadily trickling in. What do the papers have to say of Michele’s Fanny?
The Guardian: “Michele’s Fanny is more scrappy and sensual…” / “Michele’s Fanny brims with determination…”
Variety: “Michele’s maturity especially helps in the show’s second half, when the actor is able to lend this Fanny an emotional depth…”
New York Times: “Without a stupendous Fanny to thrill and distract, the musical’s manifold faults become painfully evident. Lea Michele […] turns out to be that stupendous Fanny.” |
|
|
|
| A recent study into swearing online showed that Americans curse more frequently on social media on Tuesdays. |
|
|
|
| >> Class act << |
| How to succeed in Business |
|
It’s been open season on James Corden this week after he was banned from Balthazar for being a prick to the waiting staff – with everyone using the prompt to swap stories of other times he’s been a total throbber.
It’s important to offer a bit of balance in the conversation, however. Hard though it is to credit, there are people with a good word to say about James Corden. For example, the passenger on a flight from LA to London who got bumped up into Business Class as a direct result of him.
Corden had been due to fly with his family and nanny in First, but he also wanted the airline to keep a seat in Business reserved for him too in case the nanny needed to take a kid back there. He didn’t want to downgrade the nanny’s entire ticket, but didn’t want to pay for the Business Class seat he wanted reserving either.
After repeatedly mentioning how much he spent with the airline and demanding to see a supervisor, Corden was told there was nothing that could be done as the Business cabin was already all full.
Or at least it was once they’d upgraded the passenger who was checking in one desk over. |
|
|
|
| Remember how Meghan Markle was once tipped to play Rebekah Vardy in that Leciester FC movie that never happened? One actor pencilled in to play Jamie was… James Corden. |
|
|
|
| >> Textual misconduct << |
| A case of crossed wires |
|
James Corden got his ban at Balthazar reversed by calling the owner personally and apologising profusely. That might seem like the bare minimum to do in the circumstance, but Corden’s lucky he didn’t accidentally make things worse. He has form with his phone.
He once tried to pull in a favour for his old pal and roommate, Dominic Cooper, by introducing him to a PR who worked for a luxury car brand. The brand in question were happy to loan vehicles to stars of a certain calibre, so Corden tried to fix Dom up with a freebie.
He duly typed out a message for Dom to let him know that he’d passed on his number to this PR woman, that she was “a bit of a twat” but would definitely be able to sort him out with a car to use.
You can guess who he ended up sending it to… |
|
|
|
| After a career spanning nearly 70 years as an actor, author and national treasure, the question Alan Bennett says he gets asked most is: “What’s James Corden like?” |
|
|
|
| >> Star rating << |
| Celebrity customer reviews |
|
Not all celebs are shitty to servers. Here’s some reports of other celebrity customers from waiting staff around Soho.
Gillian Anderson: “Really lovely”
John Waters: “Lovely, gracious, really funny and chatty. Good tipper.”
Richard Blackwood: “Nice, distracted, constantly checking on his illegally parked sports car.”
Shane Richie: “Liked to loudly talk about himself so that everyone else could hear. Otherwise, nice.”
Chris Martin: “Seemingly terrified of his own shadow. Cowered when I politely held a toilet door open for him, as though I was going to hit him.”
Gwyneth Paltrow: “Had her security remove a very friendly man at the bar who was telling her how much he liked Sliding Doors. He looked devastated.” |
|
|
|
If you like sport, you’ll love the Upshot – a Popbitch-inspired email newsletter dishing out gossip, controversy and tittle-tattle from the world of British sport. Sign up free and get a five minute hit of irreverent sports coverage every Friday.
[Sign up free here] |
|
|
|
| >> Grimes and punishment << |
| Justice: GB News style |
|
There’s been quite a bit of internal fallout at GB News over the Darren Grimes misconduct hearing we mentioned the other week. The outcome has sharply divided staff. Most are staggered that Grimes has been allowed to continue on-air after they learned the extent of the harassment to which he subjected some junior members of staff. The top bosses meanwhile seem to be more focused on protecting the on-screen talent and finding ways to paper over the problem instead.
One proposed fix they suggested to an employee who lodged a formal complaint about Grimes’ conduct? That they would text to give him a heads up if Grimes was ever due in the studio at the same time as him – so he could make himself scarce.
Textbook safeguarding. |
|
|
|
| In Kevin Spacey’s current trial, he told the court he decided to become an actor after attending a Jack Lemmon workshop aged 13. He says Lemmon told him “This is what you are meant to do”. |
|
|
|
| >> Singles club << |
| Change the record |
|
Long time Popbitch readers might remember a spat taking place between Ministry of Sound and Simon Cowell when Avicii’s breakthrough track Penguin was nicked by Cowell for a Leona Lewis single – until Avicii’s fans, the wider music industry and a legal case all pushed back on it. Now something similar is happening again.
Robin Schulz – who shot to fame with his remix of Mr Probz’ Waves a few years back – has just entered the Top 40 with a new single called Miss You. Only it’s immediately obvious on listening to it that it sounds a lot like a track Schulz just so happens to have been playing in his DJ sets: Southstar’s latest single, also called Miss You (which entered the charts this week at No.62).
Weirdly, Southstar didn’t appear to be credited at all on Schulz’s single. A fact spotted rather quickly by Southstar’s label… Ministry of Sound. |
|
|
|
| Axolotls are being handed in to amphibian rescue centres in record numbers after becoming popular on Minecraft and TikTok. One centre in Dunedin, New Zealand, got given 600 in just one week. |
|
|
|
| >> Name v nature << |
| A sticky situation for GOP |
|
A Republican candidate for a college board in Arizona has recently been arrested on public indecency charges. Police claim he was apprehended after they found him in his pickup truck, masturbating at 4:30pm – less than 200 feet from a pre-school.
The arrest and charge have come a little too late for some early voters in Arizona who have already been sent ballot papers with his name on. Luckily it’s easy for people in Maricopa County to remember which candidate was the one caught wanking in his truck outside a school.
He’s called… Randy Kaufman. |
|
|
|
4 reasons the cashmere hoodie from Rise & Fall always sells out; it’s made from super-soft A-grade cashmere, it’ll keep you warm all winter, it’s certified by the Good Cashmere Standard, it comes with free delivery & free returns. Don’t miss out – get yours now.
[Buy now at Rise & Fall] |
|
|
|
| Thanks to: LB, monstris, bobbifleckmann, EM, MW, GP, captain_birdseye, E, J, O, TB, GH, dom_kaos, CC, RJ |
|
|
|
Old Jokes Home
I have a joke about the tofu wokerati.
But it’s extremely tasteless.Still Bored?
How to make an egg yolk omelette – without angering James Corden
[Recipe on Lifehacker] |
|
|
|
|
|
