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Drink amazing fresh coffee this year. (We’re addicted to the Espresso blend here at PB Towers) Pact Coffee will send you a 250g bag for just ONE POUND with free P&P, a saving of 5.95GBP – use code POPBITCH14 now at http://www.pactcoffee.com – future bags are 6.95GBP, delivered when you need them.
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“When you live in a sweet shop, you don’t eat the sweets” – Dave Lee Travis
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_| 16.01.14 ISSUE 673
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* Eurovision 2014 looks amazing
* A racing legend is lost
* Charts: Pharrell is still number one
>> Brothers pride <<
Is all publicity good publicity?
Camden gallery owner Alex Proud took to the Telegraph this week to slag off East London, specifically the “Shoreditchification” of the city, and explained why he hates everything it stands for.
Interestingly, East London is where his brother has chosen to launch a new venue, Proud Archivist. A new venue for which Alex got a nice job as launch consultant. His brother must be delighted!
Tuesday’s celeb mags: “Rita Ora to move into Calvin Harris’ LA home… wouldn’t be surprising if Calvin popped the question.” Thursday: Rita and Calvin have split up.
>> To me, to Yew <<
Courting controversy
Which is the oddest fact to have come out of the DLT trial so far?
* That an alleged DLT assault was averted by one of the Chuckle Brothers coming into the dressing room?
* That DLT has amateur photography of Jo S Club on his wall?
* Or that the song DLT chose to put his hand up an audience member’s skirt during Top of The Pops was The Smurf Song?
An email was sent to Sky News staff asking for seven dwarfs to appear in a Sky Movies ident. Any of the news team with a heavy, cuddly build (preferably shorter than average height) could apply.
>> Big Questions <<
Who is asking what this week
Which popular presenter likes to talk up her charity work in interviews but, according to some of the charities for whom she is a patron, is actually pretty tricky to pin down to get to do anything? She recently refused to interview a child in a wheelchair for the camera because she “doesn’t look good crouching”.
The Milan nightclub where Eddie Irvine brawled to get his prison sentence, has two-way mirrors in the bogs so the girls can see the men taking a waz.
>> Can’t-fish <<
No-one’s taking the bait
The TV show Catfish brings Americans who have only met on the internet together in real life – often with disastrous consequences. (Who’d have thought that so many people would be lying on the internet, eh?)
MTV are trying to do a series in the UK too, but it doesn’t seem to be going too well. This week the production company sent a begging email to hundreds of journalists offering to pay a fee for any help finding them people they could film.
Popbitch’s favourite astrophysicist? Imperial College’s Professor Alan Heavens.
>> Badger V Baboon <<
An expert weighs in
DWM writes:
“I’ve just asked the rangers on safari in South Africa the badger v baboon question. One of them once saw a honey badger fight two fully grown male lions and win. So he says a badger would find a fight with a baboon a relaxing rest.”
The cost of policing the 2013 badger culls was +2.6mGBP. Or at least 1,300GBP per badger killed.
>> A new vision <<
2014 could be a great year
It’s only January, but already the Eurovision news has started:
1. Sasha Bognibov is entering for Moldova again. His 13th entry (which must be a some sort of record?) is “My Lesbian Girl”.
2. Belarus have chosen something they clearly think is a bit Blurred Lines, picking a Robin Thicke-a-like who sings about being tied up in a girl’s “sweet cheesecake”.
3. Home County metallers UKR claim the UK entry is between them and Halliwell this year. They’re a brushed up version of a pub band called Hurricane Jane with a very slightly big name guitarist Laurence Archer, ex-of Stampede, the worst line up of UFO, and Grand Slam – the band Phil Lynott formed after Thin Lizzy split up to pay off his heroin dealer.
Remy Martin have been emailing about the launch of their “creative consultant” Robin Thicke’s new bottle. Because tying your booze brand to the man behind 2013’s most questionable music video = good plan.
>> John gone <<
Farewell to a driving legend
RIP John Button, one of the true characters left in F1. Our favourite old tale told about him by fellow drinkers in his local, Monaco’s Ship and Castle, was this.
Jenson was away for a few days and left his luxury home in the care of his father. He came back to find dad asleep on the sofa. On waking him he asks him if he borrowed his watches while he was away as they weren’t in the bedroom. Or the car, as it wasn’t in the garage. And what had happened to the TV on the wall…? It seemed that Dad has been on such an epic session that he didn’t notice the house being cleaned out as he slept it off. Respect.
Worst TV show of the year? “Contestants go head to head with some of Britain’s most talented pensioners.” Presented by Paddy McGuinness – and called? Amazing Greys…
>> Hmms <<
Sperm, soda, virtual prisons
San Francisco porn cinema, the Fox Theatre has just shut down and someone got in there with a UV light. The results aren’t pretty:
imgur.com/a/0Ynwo
Alex James is planning on releasing a fizzy drink called Britpop. Just 20 years late on cashing in on that terrible joke, then.
http://bit.ly/1dwgPdh
Build and manage your own high security prison!
http://bit.ly/1eUGTgK
What makes “wankingoveryou” TV presenter love working at Supercasino? (Wait for the last line)
http://bit.ly/1denR5p
Post Ashes blues/cheer? Where in Sydney to drown your sorrows/wind up a pom:
http://bit.ly/1a9Tnnj
What are you doing on Monday? Would Like to Meet at Popbitch Popquiz. Mon 20 Jan. A few places left for single guys, at the verified online dating site knees up.
RSVP hello@wouldliketomeet.me
For info: http://bit.ly/1b5NxOq
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YAY! BRAND NEW RUBBERBANDITS SHOW opens at Soho Theatre on 30 Jan. Tickets from 10GBP Popbitches get 2.50GBP off all tickets. Quote “YOKES” when booking:
http://bit.ly/13nhSKq
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Thanks to: MRR, Ulysses, TMM, JS, abominablehoman, O, MT, mountstnobody, danceswithmustelids, monstris, opus
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Old Jokes Home:
I went out with a cardboard cut-out once.
She dumped me though, because I stood her up.
