The Daily Tonic: Chocolate Buttons

The big takeaway moment from the Depp v Sun libel trial yesterday was that Johnny Depp took to calling his ex-wife Amber Heard “Amber Turd” after someone (or something) took a big juicy shit in their marital bed.

Call us snobs, but it’s a little on the nose for our tastes. We like our shit-based nicknames to be a touch smarter.

For example, the year that Toby Anstis played Buttons in Cinderella at the Derngate Theatre, Northampton, wardrobe crew there coined a nickname for him on account of all the grisly laundry he used to have them to do for him.

“Chocolate Buttons”

Thanks for your stories of celeb superstitions. Today, let’s get a little old-skool tabloid and do a bit of kissing and telling.

Today’s Question: Which celebrities have you snogged – and how did it happen?

Send your tales of frenching the famous to us at hello@popbitch.com and we’ll send a goody bag to our favourites.

Deep Moat writes:
“A friend in the theatre world told me that actresses, no matter who they are, are addressed as Miss Whomever. Dame Judi is always ‘Miss Dench’ backstage, for example.

“When starring at the National some years ago, Diana Rigg insisted on being referred to as ‘Dame Diana’. The first night, the voice on the public address system said: ‘Dame Diana, five minutes. Dame Diana to the stage in five minutes.’

“Which led Brian Blessed to storm out of his dressing room and bellow: ‘YOU. STUPID! FUCKING! CUNT!'”

E writes:
“Not a ritual as such but Radio 2 host Steve Wright has a fear of dentists and does his own dental work, so tries to stave off any oral issues by rinsing his mouth out with brown Listerine as well as TCP which he does in the studio, spitting out into a bin.

“The studio has a distinctly ‘clean’ smell. Tony Blackburn and Nick Duncalfe ended up discussing the smell on air a few years ago.”

GW writes:
“Seeing as Margot Robbie has hit the headlines, here’s my roundabout story. A mate went to an awards do in London in 2014 and a colleague said his old school friend was going to join them. That school friend was Tom Ackerley, who turned up in jovial spirits – nice chap by all accounts.

“His girlfriend showed up later: Margot Robbie, recently of Wolf Of Wall Street fame. She walked up to Tom without saying a word and slapped him across the face. He responded by throwing his drink in her face before they both started passionately kissing in front of a dumbfounded group of strangers. Weird as fuck.”

No theme. No special rules. Just ten songs chipped up and slammed together again. You have to name the song for a point and the title for another point.

That means twenty points in total; every last one of them worthless.

[Play it here]

With Michael Cohen sent back to prison and Roger Stone getting his sentence commuted, our 2019 postscript to the whole National Enquirer story is worth a re-read
[No Stone Unturned on Popbitch]

Why was James Gandolfini photographed with SpongeBob SquarePants so much?
[MEL investigates]

Otter v hose
[Watch on YouTube]