The Daily Tonic: Is That Mr Buttnugget?

With ITV’s Quiz being such a big hit this last week, there’s now a slight risk we’ll see an uptick of interest in Chris Tarrant.

If you’re thinking it might be fun to hire him for your company’s corporate event when lockdown lifts, a quick word of warning. A publishing company who shelled out for him to appear at their annual knees-up a few years back didn’t quite get what they expected.

Not only did he turn up late, Tarrant’s ‘act’ consisted of him reading out pearls of wisdom from a postcard he’d recently found: “Twenty Reasons Why A Cucumber Is Better Than A Man”.

When we asked for stories of celebrities’ fake names the other day, someone emailed in to tell us that Robert De Niro uses the name Benjamin Franklin when checking in to hotels.

It reminded us that De Niro’s private bathroom in his Tribeca offices is fully covered with wallpaper printed to look like dollar bills with De Niro’s face on them (presumably $100s if he’s got such a stonk-on for Franklin). Which prompted the following thought.

Today’s Question: Have you ever used a celebrity’s toilet?

Tell us about the best celebrity crappers you’ve seen and we’ll send some Popbitch goodies to our favourites. hello@popbitch.com

GR writes:
“In the early 90s I worked on the music pages for my university newspaper. They arranged a phone interview with Maynard Keenan from Tool, who had just released their first album.

“He was staying at the US Embassy in London under the name ‘Mr Buttnugget’ and I still recall the switchboard operator’s initial disbelief and the pause before she put me through.”

JC writes:
“In 2003, me and some mates tried for hours to get into a tiny Muse gig at the Islington Academy. At one point the drummer, Dominic Howard, appeared outside. I made the case for him getting us in, which he assured me he would. Not long before showtime, someone came to tell us to use Dom’s favoured guestlist placeholder: ‘Nobby Burton + 3’ – which worked.

“Nobby Burton is, of course, the fictional character from The Office who sells David Brent his ties out of a suitcase.”

AJ writes:
“DJ/producer Deadmaus checked into a hotel I used to work for under the name ‘Master Splinter’ and staff were told to address and refer to him as that. He had a HUGE bodyguard, who was pretty sound and possibly knew he was looking after a bellend. We jokingly called him ‘Rocksteady’ to go along with the Ninja Turtle theme.

“I don’t remember any details but everyone at front desk and room service said Deadmaus was a complete prick, and referred to him as ‘Master Dickhead’.”

To celebrate our 30th audio round, this one is a little different. There’s still ten songs, but there’s thirty points up for grabs this time.

A point for the name of each song
A point for the name of each artist, and
A point for the name of each Will Smith track that the songs are sampled in…

[Y’all ready for this? Haha! Haha! Wooo!]

Local News Of The Week: Tory Swastika Hot Cross Bun edition
[Read on Portsmouth News]

Darts player ruled out of tournament as his WiFi connection isn’t strong enough
[Read on Sky Sports]

Really interesting take on the vivid dreams epidemic during lockdown
[Read on National Geographic]