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The Daily Tonic: Shatner’s Gallery

 

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* Plundering the visitors’ bowl!
* Double-booking the SAS!
* PLUS: A 2005 audio quiz…
>> Hung out <<
Madonna against the music
 

Ahead of releasing her 2005 album, Confessions On A Dance Floor, Madonna gave some friends a little preview of lead single, Hung Up, to gauge their reactions.

One told her, “It’s quite Gwen Stefani, isn’t it?”

To which Madonna replied, “That cunt’s been stealing from me for the last ten years so I thought it was about time I paid her back”.

The cost of pixelating out the Crazy Frog’s animated penis for its music video? £3,500.
>> Clearly defined lines <<
Store-brand stuff for clingers-on
 

2005 saw the notorious “Cocaine Kate” front pages, with the tabloids blowing the least-secret secret in showbusiness wide open: that Kate Moss liked cocaine.

Like most A-listers, Kate Moss has had a lifetime of putting up with pesky hangers-on who want to hog her drugs. Her clever solution to the problem? Always have two entirely separate cocaine stashes.

The “premium” bowl, reserved for her friends and fellow celebrities.

Then one for visitors, compiled from all the dregs of left-over wraps.

Lemmy from Motorhead was hospitalised for dehydration and exhaustion in 2005. His manager tried to get him to lead a more healthy lifestyle. Lemmy’s compromise? Agreeing to start adding ice cubes to his Jack Daniels.
>> Shatner’s gallery <<
Home is where the art is
 

During his 2005 world tour, Henry Rollins was telling people how William Shatner’s garage was chock-full of portraits of the former Starship captain. Paintings of Shatner as TJ Hooker, as Captain Kirk, as himself – at all ages and stages of his career.

Even the best-known divas don’t install full-scale galleries of themselves in their own homes. So is this a sign of Shatner’s colossal ego? Not exactly.

Apparently Shatner is constantly being given paintings by Trekkies at conventions and he just doesn’t have the heart to throw any of them out. Bless.

Kate Bush is scared of flying and likes to hold a flight attendant’s hand on take-off.
>> Bravo 2-0 <<
Ross Kemp on goals
 

2005 was a very rocky year in the marriage of Ross Kemp and Rebekah Wade. Not only was it the year that the police were called to their house because of a disturbance, there was also this rowdy scene in Sheekeys.

The pair were at the restaurant with a couple of chaps from the Press Association who had asked Rebekah to attend an event. “Sure,” she replied. Then nodded at her husband, asking “Want me to bring him?”

Perhaps not enjoying being referred to as “him” in front of company, Kemp was quick to assert himself, shouting “Have you spoken to my fucking secretary about this? I won’t be free that night as I’m playing football with my SAS mates.”

Holly Valance’s mother is called Rachel Stevens.
>> Say what? <<
Celebrities speak their minds
 

“Women are more different than anything, any creature, [any] beautiful animal in the world. They’re just the most complex, different. I don’t think no human being has been able to just figure out the woman. As complicated as I’m explaining it to you, that’s how it is.” – P Diddy

“Coffee’s one thing but coke is another.” – Jennifer Love Hewitt

“Sometimes, when people are constipated, you gotta help them out.” – Bobby Brown

“We both lie there [in bed] next to each other, all tanned up. We’re like a pair of hot dogs.” – Katie Price, on married life with Peter Andre

On the set of Sahara in 2005, Penelope Cruz happily made do with the production’s hair and make-up guy, while Matthew McConaughey insisted not only on his own personal make-up artist, but a hair stylist and two hair colourists too.
>> Quarantunes <<
Your 2005 audio quiz
 

Here’s another set of top ten hits, this time from 2005. You’ll hear about 15 seconds of each, all strung together into one long string.

As ever, you get a point for each artist you manage to name and another for each song title too. There’s ten songs, which means twenty points in total.

[Ready to play 2005?]

Want to test yourself with more music, trivia and puzzles? We’ve got a load of downloadable play-at-home Popbitch Popquizzes so you can host a version of our legendary pub quiz in your own living room. The perfect thing for friends and non-squeamish family members…
[Take a look here]
>> Hmmms <<
A couple of quick things
 

Hamilton, performed by the Muppets
[Listen on YouTube]

The rumours were picking up speed, now Ellen’s workplace is under investigation
[Read on Variety]

Disco-pop remix of Trump’s ramp story
[Songify Version]

Tomorrow is 2006, so if you have any stories from then – or any time in the mid/late-noughties era – send them to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll return the favour with some digital goodies…
Old Jokes Home: 2005 Edition
Woman: “Doctor, Doctor! Every time I pull down my pants my fanny starts singing ‘Is This The Way To Amarillo’.”
Doctor: “Don’t worry… Every twat’s singing that at the moment.”

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