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“I’m the first to compliment, and I’ll just say ‘You look really great’ or ‘You look great'” – Rita Ora
POPBITCH _ _ _ _
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|_| |_|13.08.15 ISSUE 750
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* Cilla: The tributes continue…
* PB Extra: Dick, Trump and more!
* Charts: Charlie Puth is No.1
>> Bye bye, Bullers <<
Social medi-yah boo sucks
Social media users are often accused of ‘slacktivism’ and told that they never actually effect any useful change.
Well, maybe that’s not quite so. Apparently the Bullingdon Club’s membership at Oxford took a bit of a hit last year. Only three members signed up.
People constantly circulating that photo of Boris, Dave and all their mates in tailcoats appears to have done the trick.
Prospective members figure that if a member of the public ever captured any of their Bullers hi-jinks on a camera phone, such as burning 50 pound notes in front of beggars; starting a fight in a country pub) and shared it on social media, it would blow their chances of a job in the City.
Spotted outside Newton Abbot train station in Devon: international rock star Matt Bellamy – waiting to be picked up by his mum.
>> Black mood <<
Ruff day at the office
If you worried that our Cilla coverage last week seemed a little vicious, relax. It’s probably what she would have wanted. From the sounds of it, she never much cared for gestures of condolence from the press.
A reporter from the Daily Mirror once had to deliver Cilla a bouquet of flowers to Cilla after the death of Our Bobby.
But as he was walking up the path of her huge house in Denham – with flowers in hand – her sons set a dog on him.
FYI: We’ve a full tribute to Cilla in the latest edition of Popbitch Magazine (IT’S BACK!) – including many more of your memories of the old gal…
http://bit.ly/1h49pnl
Taliban turmoil is a recruiting strategy for ISIS. In Kabul they are offering a signing-on fee of $100 and a motorbike.
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
Which British TV talent judge had a special arrangement with her partner? Every time she had anal sex with him, he’d buy her a diamond. (No idea if she’s still holding him to that.)
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THE POPBITCH POPQUIZ AT SMITHS: Our back-to-school special, Tues Sept 8 at Smiths, Spitalfields. Music! Gossip! Trivia! Prizes! Come and send off the summer holidays with us. (And booze.) Entry is 5GBP. 7:30pm start. Get tickets here: http://bit.ly/1UEzPKs
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>> Hair trigger <<
Not having a joly month
Sounds like someone needs to set up a specialised Dom Joly complaint line. The latest story we’ve had involves him make a nuisance of himself on Meard Street in Soho.
Not only was he bothering diners sat outside Honest Burger, filming a sketch for the new series of Trigger Happy TV, Joly’s staff were blocking residents’ front doors. When one such resident returned home and tried to enter their own house, they found themselves being told by a team of his employees to wait while filming concluded.
So they called Westminster Council’s noise pollution team on him.
Judy Murray spotted in Hotel Du Vin. Either very discreet or paranoid – she placed her hand over her mouth whenever she spoke to companions.
>> No shit, Sherlock <<
Cumberbitches go rogue
Filming Hamlet on their phones was just the first phase of the Benedict Cumberbatch Fan Army’s plans. The Cumberbitches have much bigger and bolder plans to get their Benny to notice them.
A group of them has been circulating rumours to the press about Mrs Cumberbatch misbehaving, claiming that
her recent pregnancy was fake and that Ben didn’t really want to marry her, in the hope that the stories will get published and destabilise their marriage.
Although, ladies, if you want this plan to work, talking about it quite so openly on Tumblr might not be your best idea. It is Sherlock you’re trying to deceive after all.
There’s been rumours swirling that David Tennant was going back to Dr Who. It seems more likely he was spotted in Cardiff meeting Russell T Davies about a new non-Who thing.
>> Bad passenger <<
The sound of violence
Seems as though Passenger has form when it comes to getting pissy on stage. He got so annoyed with one of his audiences at a gig in Glasgow that he stopped his version of The Sound Of Silence part way through to admonish the paying punters.
Now, most people would be smart enough not to take on a Glasgow crowd (especially not a Glasgow crowd on a Friday night) – but not Passenger. Instead, he said:
“This really would sound better if you all would be quiet. Really, it’s quite special.”
It went down about as well as you might predict.
JJ Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan wrote the new Star Wars movie by taking long walks together and recording everything they talked about.
>> Cock of the work <<
Some nom-det down under
Grim news broke last month that female backpackers working in Australia on the farms of South East Queensland are being coerced into giving blowjobs in exchange for visa sign-offs.
The man dealing with all their complaints? Queensland’s Anti-Discrimination Commissioner…
Kevin Cocks.
Was it the love child or losing a member? Either way, it worked. One Direction have just scored their first US top five since 2013.
>> Double crossed <<
You gotta have faiths
Politicians are often accused of feigning faith in order to pander to important voter bases. And while we wouldn’t dream of questioning Republican hopeful Marco Rubio’s devotion to his faith, he does have a rather unusual history.
The Florida senator was baptised Catholic. But he was baptised a second time as a Mormon when his family moved to Las Vegas and converted. He has since returned to Catholicism, but has been seen attending a Southern Baptist megachurch in Miami.
Germaine Greer spotted in Saffron Walden Tesco, having a conversation with a woman by the cucumbers.
>> Dick Tales <<
Popbitch Magazine is BACK!
We’re going to be taking a week off next week for our summer holiday, but we’ve got a little something for you in our absence – a new issue of Popbitch Magazine!
It features:
* Richard Desmond’s worst excuses for getting into pornography
* The reason Gary Barlow’s musical needs a sex scandal to ensure its legacy
* Corruption at the heart of Eurovision
* Republican rapping
* The truth about Yoko Ono, the Cheeky Girls and a desert island
* And much, much more…
We’ve made it so you can get this issue for free if you sign up for a monthly subscription – which helps support us to bring you this newsletter too.
K-Pop is getting massive. Big Bang’s Sydney gig went on sale today at $360! (That’s 170GBP)
>> Hmmms <<
Cocktails, cowboys, cancer
Fancy getting punched in the face for living? Because Clarkson is hiring…
http://bit.ly/1KigsQ8
The Human League’s Don’t You Want Me, re-edited with just the ‘cocktail bar’ lines. A true work of art:
http://bit.ly/1ILQQuY
How Jehovah’s Witnesses are changing how doctors think about blood transfusion:
http://nyr.kr/1f8LGAt
Speaking of which, John Underwood’s cancer diaries are some of the funniest stuff you’ll ever read about late-stage lymphoma:
http://jmunderwood.com/
We took 50 Popbitch readers to see 1984 at The Playhouse Theatre. This is what they made of it:
http://bit.ly/1L7c9Nn
Local news of the week – Miss Teen Suffolk is to be the official face of Framlingham SausageFest:
http://bit.ly/1UEyPWR
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Thanks to: GC, DD, JS, KJ, JR, FS, neville_bartos, TM, KM, RF, AL, theabominablehoman, rogermoore
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Old Jokes’ Home:
As Our Cilla is now God’s Cilla, we can expect to see her stomping Tokyo flat soon.
Still Bored?
If you haven’t subscribed to Popbitch Magazine yet – what are you waiting for? Get this month’s edition free if you sign up for a monthly subscription:
http://bit.ly/1bexc8Y
