The Downstairs Bunny Warren

Ever since it was first announced back in 2010, the Freddie Mercury biopic has been an endless string of problems. It’s been through so many actors, directors and drafts of the script that you’d think the thing was cursed.

Yet just when it looked as if things might finally be coming together, something very strange appears to have come over the film’s current director, Bryan Singer. Word from the set is that he’s having fairly regular breakdowns and has been going MIA so frequently that the production keeps getting shut down.

What on earth could have happened in the last few weeks that might be causing famous Hollywood director Bryan Singer such consternation, we wonder?

Surely nothing that could bring the entire project to its knees?

Obviously it’s low on the list of Parliamentary problems right now, but security personnel at Westminster have been grumbling recently about a strict new safety policy that requires large packages to be scanned before they’re allowed in.

Actually, it’s not the policy itself they’re complaining about; more the fact that there’s one MP who insists on trying to get through the security gate without complying with the new rules, causing a huge noisy scene when he’s not allowed through.

You’d have thought Andrew Mitchell would have learned his lesson after the first Plebgate incident.

But apparently not.

Which male member of the Sex And The City cast has a sexual kink that’s worthy of a Samantha storyline? Having picked up an obliging woman in a hotel bar, he escorts her up to his room where he’ll ask her to cover his meat and two veg with an assortment of foodstuffs, gets her to lick it off – and, er… that’s it. Nothing further.

In issue 194, we asked Popbitch readers “Which ageing TV chef and restaurant owner likes to try it on with females on his production team? He grabs them, french kisses them, and when asked what he thinks he’s doing, replies, ‘I was just testing the upstairs hole to see if the downstairs bunny warren was open.'”

The answer? A man who is about to be exploring a very different sort of hole… Antonio Carluccio!

Vice Media have already lost a managing editor and a well-known freelancer for sexist or sexually coercive behaviour, but now they’re eyeing up the possibility of a million dollar pay-off to one individual who is bringing a harassment charge against the company.

The case in question isn’t a particularly shocking one. The only reason it’s got such a high price tag is because Vice is keen to nip the whole thing in the bud and would rather pay over the odds to keep things quiet (as they really don’t want any other potential cases coming forward if the fight goes public).

Our advice? Save your money, boys. Everyone in New York media has the story, so it’s going to break soon enough regardless.

We knew that times were tough in the world of media and journalism, but we didn’t realise things had got so bad that some of the industry’s most prominent and best paid writers were having to find second jobs.

This celebrity lookalike agency appears to have Caitlin Moran on their books, moonlighting as a Kate Middleton impersonator…

[View at Susan Scott]

Among his many other crimes and misdeeds, it turns out that Kevin Spacey also has absolutely terrible patter.

One young extra who met Spacey on the set of The Shipping News in 2001 asked if the star was going to join the rest of the cast at a local bar, called the Tickle Trunk. Spacey’s response?

“Do you like to tickle trunks? Do you want to tickle my trunk?”

What with all the gak-hoofing, restaurant-smashing and homeless-taunting, the Bullingdon Club has a bit of a reputation – but not everything they did was so bad.

Remember that famous photo which featured George Osborne and his cohorts? One of the others in that picture, Mark Petre, is remembered by Oxford friends for an incident in which he grabbed the future Evening Standard editor by the ankles, hung him upside down and shook him vigorously until he he was persuaded to squeal “I’m a cunt! I’m a cunt!” several times.

Stories about the current favourites to win Strictly Come Dancing are an easy way for the press to generate content, a free way for the BBC to get a bit of publicity, and it helps drum up some custom for the bookies. It’s been a cosy little three-way for years, but some tensions are developing in the relationship.

Because the BBC films the Saturday and Sunday shows on the same day, but the Sunday show is held back for broadcast, the elimination decision is actually made and filmed a long while before it’s broadcast. The producers have to beg the studio audience not to reveal the result early on social media.

The press, by and large, seem happy to play along with this embargo. The problem arises, however, when the bookies find out the result.

The bookies are in a bind as they can’t very well take punters’ money on bets for a contestant they know has been eliminated, so they have to suspend that contestant from the market as soon as they know the result. What that means though is that, for all of Sunday, the Strictly betting markets provide an obvious spoiler (as the eliminated contestant is missing from the book).

How do you fix a problem like that? One way would be to film the show across two days, to make sure there isn’t a 24 hour lag.

A cheaper option would be to fire off a bunch of legal threats at the bookmakers and threaten them with breach of confidence – despite there being no formal contract in place between the two.

Which is what the Beeb has done.

This month marks the 20th anniversary of Michael Hutchence’s death, yet still the mess surrounding his estate continues.

Earlier this week, Colin Diamond (Tiger-Lily’s godfather and the lawyer who inherited Hutchence’s estate) was uncovered as part of the Paradise Papers investigation – which found out he set up an offshore business to exploit this 20th anniversary by releasing unheard solo music he has the rights to.

There’s no real love lost though. Diamond hasn’t been in anyone’s good books since he managed to get into Michael’s hotel room before the family – and took everything for himself. Everything, except for the belt that Hutchence hanged himself with.

He gave that to Michael’s father.

The perfect gift for your sweary mate
[See on Etsy]

Alan Bennett’s house is up for sale
[See on Right Move]

It’s a little late for this year, but this is the greatest Halloween mix ever made
[Listen on SoundCloud]

Chimera cat!
[See on People]

Want to trim Twitter back to 140 characters?
[Download Chrome plugin]

Local news of the week
[Read on Dundee Evening Telegraph]

Grindr’s marketing VP is called… Peter Sloterdyk!
[Read on PR Week]

The Sperm Clinic nurse asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup.

I said I wasn’t ready for competitive wanking.

Still Bored?

It’s one year since Trump was elected, and now that the National Enquirer is potentially implicated in the Weinstein story, there’s no better time to read out four-part series on the whole sorry mess
[Read on Popbitch]