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| “I don’t want to be 50 doing ‘Head Like A Hole’ on tour…” Trent Reznor, touring this year ahead of his 60th birthday |
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| #1221 free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
30.01.25 email stories to hello@popbitch.com
* Piers’n’Tucker in KSA
* More VIP queuing behaviour
* PLUS: Jordan v Pensioners |
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| >> Got Milk? << |
| Missing Mossy |
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Kate Moss finally called it quits with Nikolai Von Bismarck, her on-off younger boyfriend of nine years, last month. And she’s dealing with the break-up as any of us would, with some self-care.
Kate was spotted at the Rio in Dalston this week, buying a small popcorn, a Diet Coke and a half pint of lager.
She was on her way to see Babygirl, Nicole Kidman’s sexy new film about a passionate but doomed affair with a younger man. |
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| A full 43 weeks after it was first released, Messy by Lola Young is No.1. |
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| >> The Devil Wears Stella << |
| Nepo babies? For Spring…? |
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Staff turnover at Stella McCartney’s fashion label is high – even for this industry.
We’ve long heard tales of workplace weirdness from inside the McCartney camp, but one story in particular made us laugh.
In a recent meeting, Stella walked in, arms raised, and announced to her assembled team: ‘I’VE GOT THE MOST FAMOUS FUCKING NAME IN THE WORLD’.
How very fashion! |
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| Ronan Keating out of Boyzone is now a grandfather. |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
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Which football manager is rumoured to benefit from an extra slush fund hidden offshore? Clubs across the European leagues can’t be too careful around FFP these days, can they? |
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| >> Blocking midfielder << |
| The Knutsford WI Pro League |
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As Princess Park Manor was in the noughties, so Knutsford is today.
As in, it’s absolutely crawling with footballers.
One of these is Jordan Henderson, and he’s having a good go at rubbing the locals up the wrong way. Jordan has been building a super-mansion there for years.
The Hendersons have purchased a load of fields and put up rather intrusive and ugly fencing, complete with patrolling security. Must be worried about his privacy from the pensioners on the other side of the field.
To add insult to injury, locals are gossiping that these fences were put up thanks to a grant from DEFRA.
If so, those Al Ettifaq tax bills must be really brutal. |
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| Gimber, a Belgian brand of alcohol-free ginger drink, is arranging a Sober Aperitif evening on 31st January in association with Dr Servaas Bingé. |
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| >> Moaning Glory << |
| “And a packet of crisps, please” |
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We’ve been detailing celebrities with a less than stellar reputation for queue-jumping, but the same can’t be said for Noel Gallagher.
At Glastonbury last summer Noel dutifully joined the back of a long queue behind The Park stage, where he patiently waited alone for his pint.
At the front, a well-meaning Oasis fan yelled down the queue “Noel, what do you want?”
His answer, which he presumably uses every time this happens, was “Thanks mate, forty pints of lager please”.
The fan sensibly left Noel in peace. |
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| Latest corporate office to suffer toilet troubles – eharmony. The notes up on the walls say “Gentlemen – please make sure that the flush has worked and leave the toilets as you would wish to find them NO POO PLEASE!” |
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| >> The Only Way Is Gemma << |
| On the very naughty list |
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Gemma Collins’s diva behaviour is legendary. Even children aren’t safe from her Mariah level meltdowns.
Over Christmas Gemma took herself off to C-List sleb hotspot Lapland UK, an immersive theatre event which is, as the name suggests, supposed to be pretty child friendly.
But the poor kids didn’t see much of Santa when the GC came to town. She made sure she sat front row, took to the stage and later had an argument with her partner in the middle of Elven Village.
Luckily the elves were prepared for this.
Gemma comes to the event every year, and so every year all the actors have special “GC Training”. |
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| Since performing as part of Trump’s inauguration, Snoop Dogg has lost half a million social followers. |
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| >> Slap Up Meal << |
| A reformed man |
| Lee Anderson was out at Tamarind in Mayfair this week having dinner à deux.
Observers couldn’t quite work out who he was with – it didn’t really look like Mrs Anderson. But there’s likely an innocent explanation for both the dinner and the slap on the arse he gave his companion as she climbed the stairs ahead of him.
Of course, it might well have been his wife he was with. After all, it’s not the first time Lee has tried to protect Mrs Anderson’s anonymity for his own ends.
Last year when Sinead, a Tory councillor, was suspended from her own party when photos surfaced of her on the Reform UK campaign trail, her husband had a novel defense ready to go.
Confronted by the Sunday Mirror, he asked: “How do you know it was her?”
FYI: Rumours suggest ex-MailOnline supremo Martin Clarke is now advising Reform. |
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| Missing Prisoner Cell Block H? Neighbours not floating your boat? Home & Away not enough of a mental fever dream? Then come to Coochie Creek!
[Listen to Coochie Creek] |
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| >> I [heart] Head << |
| Going for gold |
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Johan Eliasch, tipped to be elected the next IOC President, appeared on Sky News recently for an odd cause – defending his friend Prince Andrew.
Eliasch, in fairness, is a bit of an odd character all round. He’s one of the few people to have been both an adviser to Gordon Brown and a donor to one of Liz Truss’s doomed reboot attempts.
In the 90s and early 00s Johan was the CEO of sports brand Head. One stunt, in which a ton of ‘I love HEAD’ t-shirts had been printed was sadly mothballed.
Employees in his London office might recall the billionaire personally signing off people’s expenses because someone once included the purchase of some chewing gum on a work trip.
Or perhaps the time he complained that a meeting’s handouts were stapled, which might scratch the room’s table, his personal property moved in from storage. |
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| Anon writes: “Ant and Dec spotted on the soft drinks in the stalls bar at Dr Strangelove. Two hours and 15 minutes I’m never getting back; seeing PJ & Duncan was my highlight”. |
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| >> Piers Pressure << |
| Morgan, Carlson and MBS |
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Piers Morgan hasn’t always had a good word to say about Saudi Arabia (see his Twitter feed over the years) but this week he is in Riyadh as a guest of the Saudi Real Estate Future Forum, alongside other international luminaries like Tucker Carlson and Bill Clinton. In fact – as a special treat – Piers and Tucker decided to interview each other there in a mammoth three-hour love-in!
Can we expect to see the Morgan social media angle change now? Well, if the effusive quotes from “Mr Piers Morgan – Global Media Influencer” at the forum are indicative…
“I have never seen a personality like that of His Royal Highness Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. I have witnessed gender equality in the Kingdom and I am very proud of the development the Kingdom is experiencing, supporting and empowering all its citizens”. |
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| Sad news for Sidebar of Shame fans – Mail Online is looking to shed around 100-200 roles; 30-40% staff cost cuts projected. |
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| >> Too Good, Too bad << |
| Eurovision update |
| Our old favourite Sasha Bognibov, of I Love the Girls of 13 Years Old fame, finally – after years and years of trying – got to the TV finals of Moldova’s Eurovision.
Then Moldova withdrew from this year’s contest.
Seriously, that country will do anything to stop the People’s Choice from winning.
But some good news for fans of Latvia’s Citi Zeni. Remember Eat Your Salad a couple of years back? Opening lyric: “I don’t eat meat, I like veggies and pussy”.
Chances are you’re going to love Malta this year.
Watch until it gets to the chorus! |
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| I’m a therapist who helps people ditch their anxiety faster than Nigel Farage fled Clacton. Less ‘mindful breathing exercises’, more your inner Alan Sugar telling your anxiety “You’re fired”. £99. Online/Spalding.
[Try Fantastic Day] |
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| >> Hmmms << |
| Good internet bits |
Looking for that perfect Valentine’s gift? Durrant & Dove’s viciously defaced, upcycled vintage porcelain from their French dungeons could be just the ticket. Code DDgift at checkout for discount on first order.
[Minge-teasing bastard tea cup?] Actor Patrick Fischler answers questions about Mulholland Drive
[Read on Vulture]
Erling Haaland in a TV ad for Norwegian cod, shown on Portuguese ESPN between halves.
[Fishy]
Ever wondered what happened to Tom Green?
[He’s in the New York Times]
London’s first “women only private members club” has gone into administration
[Oops]
Is Ari Emanuel getting turned over by a Russian?
[Read on FT]
McGlynn’s pub in King’s Cross is up for sale
[A bargain] |
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| THANKS TO: Earl of Essex, The Impish Scribe, M, SM, CL, NV, PH, PC, JF, O, JM, Sc, |
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| Old Jokes Home
I tried to meet a Californian girl on Hinge but there weren’t any.
Apparently they’re all on Tinder.
Still Bored?
The wonderful Prince Charles cinema in Leicester Sq is at risk of closure ‘cos some cunt is allowed to buy up things that people in London like then close them so he can make money.
[Sign the petition here]
*** WhatsApp us some goss on +44 7923 619540. We’re also on Instagram and our DMs are open (@p0pb1tch)*** |
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