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“Disco needs to stop. I like disco, I liked it when it came out – like last year with Get Lucky – but now everyone seems to be doing it and it’s way too much” – Sam Smith
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|_| |_| 09.10.14 ISSUE 710
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To send stories email: hello@popbitch.com
* Cheater Ora’s bungled affair
* More Westminster cock
* Charts: Meghan v Minaj for no 1
>> Cheater Ora <<
How not to conduct your affairs
You probably know that pop’s big sweethearts Calvin Harris and Rita Ora broke up earlier this year. What you probably don’t know is what caused them to break up.
Calvin and Rita were hanging out together in LA, when Rita announced that she had to go back to London for some urgent filming. She packed and left for the airport – only she never actually made it there. Instead she went across town to a fancy hotel, where she took a room with someone else, before returning to Calvin’s house a few days later. She might have got away with it too, had she not got Calvin’s driver to drop her off and pick her up from the hotel…
Tempers have not cooled in the months since. Calvin is still so mad that he has just pulled every song of his off Rita’s new album – leaving her with a grand total of… two tracks.
Bumlick of the week: agent Jorge Mendes on client Cristiano Ronaldo: “There are so many great things about him that it’s impossible to list all of them”.
>> Big Questions <<
Who wants to know what?
Which fashion designer is being hailed by fashion magazines but has got the nickname ‘Puppykiller’ closer to home? Staff were always shocked at the rough hand with which their boss handled his pooch (the occasional rough foot too), but now that none of them have seen the dog in weeks, whispers are starting to swirl.
Terry Venables has opened a hotel near Alicante, in Spain.
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Rubberbandits are back in London from 18 Oct for just 10 shows. £2.50 off all tickets if you quote FELLAS. Tickets from £10 here:
http://www.sohotheatre.com
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>> Cockwatching <<
Putting the eye in urinal
Big Ben, Westminster cock watcher, is back. “Brooks Newmark: I did see his cock. Circumcised, mottled, poking out of paisley PJs. Hoping it is a grower, clearly not a show-er”.
Renee Zellwegger works out for up to 6 hours a day.
>> Playing dumb <<
Insane in the Caine
What’s happening with Michael Caine? One day he’s announcing that he’s not going to be making any more films, when just the day before he was talking about how Daniel Radcliffe will be playing his son in Now You See Me 2.
At last count he also has half a dozen films in post, and at least another four in pre-production. Are these the first signs of dementia kicking in? Or could it be that Caine is about to embark on some new fee negotiations?
Popbitch’s favourite Cambridge based chimney sweep… Mr Richard Bristley.
>> Local news of the week <<
Cardiff has troublesome erection
Walesonline journalist Aled Blake put an amazing story on Twitter.
“Angry caller says a “Muslim” statue’s being erected in Cardiff and we should do a story on it. Bemused, I ask of what.
Answer: ‘Ghandi’.”
The McCanns say they had nothing to do with Brenda Leyland’s death, as they were out to dinner at the time.
>> Browned off? <<
And maybe Hoppen mad
Kelly Hoppen sold her Notting Hill home for £5.5m to the owner of swimwear shop Orlebar Brown and his partner a year ago. Neighbours were surprised to see the new owners refit the property within six months – not least because they must have paid a premium to buy a house fitted out by noted interior designer Kelly Hoppen MBE. However, the decision was made through necessity rather than design. They claimed the house was so poorly put together it started to fall apart within five minutes of them moving in.
Stars of Inherent Vice were asked if they’d read Thomas Pynchon’s book it was based on. “I had my assistant read it to me” said Martin Short.
>> King Queen <<
Morocco’s modern life
After a British grandfather was thrown into jail after being dobbed in to the cops by his hotel concierge for being gay in Morocco, we’re nervous about the fate of others in that country whose sexuality is the source of rumours in the capital. Like the King, who – the story goes – has a close friend from American also living in the palace, and who used to be a keen visitor to gay bars in Belgium where he studied.
The Moroccan Royal Palace’s daily operating budget – $960,000.
Morocco’s gross national income per capita – $3,030.
>> Writing on the wall <<
How the media self destructs
With Kevin Pietersen and Roy Keane both having books out this last week, it’s been odd to see how the celeb-autobiography market has changed.
Old Media Model:
Book gets published, perhaps with a short newspaper serialisation. People buy the paper, people buy the book. Publisher, author, newspaper win.
This Year’s Model:
Sports hacks get advance review copies, put the best bits out on social media. Newspaper serialisation is basis for a week’s worth of free web content for seemingly every news media outlet in the world. Who wins? Erm…
In an earlier life, Brian David Stevens was Satan Prince of Darkness, one of four PB posters behind the celebtastic Server Party, which crowdfunded enough cash to keep early Popbitch up and running. Now he’s a rather fabulous photographer (see here), with these rather beautiful Sound System prints to buy:
>> Hmmms <<
Cancer drills, cock shields, ISIS
Send anonymous texts to anyone in the US:
Press regulation, ISIS style:
Withnail IV finally makes it on to youtube!
Cover your ears, it’s Courtney Love live on stage:
Fracking is going to cure cancer:
Something for the weekend, sir?