Back in his Man United days, Wayne Rooney was called into the office one day for a telling off from his higher-ups. Look, they told him, we’ve managed to kill the story this time but you have got to stop this sort of thing. We can’t keeping doing this for you.
Rooney, looking more confused than normal, asked what they were talking about. The girl, they told him. The one who’d tried to sell her kiss’n’tell story to the papers. They’d half-killed themselves trying to get the thing spiked, so they’d really appreciate it if, in future, he’d stop heading out on the town with Theo Walcott to try to shag anyone and everyone he could.
Rooney continued to look baffled, telling them that it wasn’t him and he definitely hadn’t been out with Theo Walcott. The two weren’t really that close. This back and forth continued for a little while until the bosses came to realise that Rooney genuinely didn’t appear to have any clue what they were talking about.
So what had happened? Two lads who just so happened to look a bit like Rooney and Walcott had been teaming up and touring the downmarket clubs of Liverpool together as one another’s wingman in the hopes that someone would mistake them for the famous footballers. And they obviously looked convincing enough at chucking out time to end up causing untold PR panic at Old Trafford.