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Dick Tips

'This is a family business'

news.sky.com/story/1540398/womans-body-stolen-from-coffin-after-funeral

monkeyhat 10:22, reply

Dick 2

The SNP, who are very keen on bilingual roadsigns, despite the fact that some areas where they appear have never had Gaelic spoken there. Their latest cock-up has been renaming the Isle of Bute for Gaelic speakers as "Penis Island"

(Picture includes Penis Island's MSP, IDNSHBhoid)

celtiagirl 22:00, reply

Weekend spot hijack

Telly football talker about and former Arsenal full back Lee Dixon in a cafe in Richmond Park Saturday. Like half of the other bellends in there he was top-to-toe cycling lycra, though a far deeper hue of terracotta. His shorts were tight, but still IDNSHC sorry.

spank_daley 11:31, reply

Maybe Brooklyn Beckham could apply...

... has he told anyone his GCSE results?

7zark7 5:49, reply

If he's inherited his intelligence from his parents

he's probably stood outside an aquarium, or something, waiting for his results.

touchmyspastic 7:55, reply

The "Lethal Weapon" reboot looks a bit shonky

rogermoore 17:10, reply

Assange has aged badly

I could have told him that's what happens when you spend your life in a dark single room, wanking and crying into your Pot Noodles

thatevilwoman 15:43, reply

He's a few months short of going "Full Reg"

rogermoore 21:38, reply

Can't wait for series ten

of Homeland

stan2a10shun 23:13, reply

tinyurl.com/qhvdcqk for those with internet censorships

drunken_boht 17:32, reply

Harrow

spank_daley 15:42, reply

Kings Canterbury

thatevilwoman 21:34, reply

Ampleforth

thatevilwoman 21:38, reply

*Doctor with stethascope*

"Big breaths*

*Girl in photo* "Yeth, and I'm only sixtheen*

uncle_whuppity 17:10, reply

thanks for that, arthur askey

__________ 13:49, reply

They were contemporaries.

deep_stoat 14:48, reply

Comics Arthur Askey and Marty Feldman died within a few days of each other

in 1982.

Arthur had had both legs amputated before he died due to gangrene. It was suggested Andy Fairweather-Lowe's 1975 hit "Wide Eyed And Legless" be re-released in tribute to them both.

uncle_whuppity 16:51, reply

If she needs to cover her text books in wallpaper,

I've got some paste she can use.

roger_mycock 14:13, reply

i miss right said fred

__________ 8:00, reply

Roedean

whitemaninhammersmithpalais 8:35, reply

Benenden

thatevilwoman 9:12, reply

Blandford

thatevilwoman 9:27, reply

Le Rosey

plasticflamingo 9:59, reply

Dulwich

thatevilwoman 10:10, reply

Magdalen

deep_stoat 12:21, reply

Magdelene

humphrey_plugg 14:34, reply

Sevenoaks

thatevilwoman 14:55, reply

I feel for you

spank_daley 15:03, reply

thatevilwoman 15:12, reply

You

rogermoore 15:21, reply

(wherever he laid his hat was his home)

thatevilwoman 15:28, reply

spank_daley 15:31, reply

rogermoore 15:43, reply

thatevilwoman 15:42, reply

Eaton

rogermoore 21:04, reply

Winchester

humphrey_plugg 23:19, reply

Radley

gravelly_hills_cop 8:57, reply

Westminster

plasticflamingo 8:52, reply

Rugby

deep_stoat 10:10, reply

Charterhouse

plasticflamingo 11:21, reply

Marlborough

humphrey_plugg 11:32, reply

Haileybury

rogermoore 12:49, reply

Lancing

kerching 4:52, reply

Bedales

philanderer 7:58, reply

Fettes

rogermoore 10:01, reply

Wellington

kerching 16:38, reply

rogermoore 16:45, reply

Eton

neville_bartos 16:52, reply

*looks down*

No. That's the original cat woman.

spank_daley 13:15, reply

Cheltenham Ladies College

plasticflamingo 13:28, reply

gravelly_hills_cop 14:56, reply

Lovely

fayekorgazm 17:41, reply

arf

deep_stoat 16:03, reply

DUNNNA DUNNA DUNNNA DUNNNA DUNNA DUNNNA DUNNNA DUNNA DEADNOW!

mrsix 21:32, reply

Run badger run

Are you a baboon tied to a tree? Baboon on the loose just down the road from me!

pauly 12:37, reply

Sleb Spot (by proxy)

Eddie Izzard buying tomatoes in Byers Street Waitrose, Glasgow. Looking great in heels,skinny jeans and leather jacket with just a touch of lippy. Despite skinny jeans proxy DNSHC.

mike_hunt 20:12, reply

sleb spots

various comedians, wandering about, in edinburgh, last week, hmm doesn't really count does it. I did pass Dave Benson Phillips and Milton Jones in the street though, and saw David O'Doherty signing a book for Justin Moorhouse.

Best thing I saw was LetLuce in Sea Men, and it's free. Also recommended Hey Hey 16k and Stewart Lee, especially as someone off popbitch got me free tickets.

Johnny Vegas was funny, still appeared to be having a breakdown. Daniel Kitson self indulgent, nothing prepared, a bit of a thrill but not actually very funny. That Jimmy Savile play excellent too, funnier than expected, less creepy but a great performance.

All the bands I liked in 1990 seem to be playing bannermanslive.co.uk/gigs/ at some point too, Love/Hate, Wolfsbane, and loads more. Not really news but I don't leave the house much.

Oh I forgot a hot recommendation how to win a pub quiz, get their well in advance and take your Darkness knowledge along.

pauly 15:27, reply

haha!

car_snow_gin 23:31, reply

Belated Sleb spot

So that probably wasn't Thom Yorkes daughter I saw him with a couple of months ago then... Wonder if the divorce will be another 'pay what you think its worth' experiment?

soapy_handerton 15:06, reply

On the same page as OBL's tape collection

Siouxsie Sioux's let herself go.

www.bbc.co ... 33822326#2

xanadu 14:54, reply

Ding Ding, last stop...

Stephen Lewis wrote a play specifically for Pat Coombs. It's never been published.

fayekorgazm 16:44, reply

pat coombs was a friend of my nan's mate or something about 50 years ago

apart from her charming canon of work, all i know about her is that she "never said no", because she was "very polite".

__________ 17:21, reply

I've been led to believe that she was part of the

check shirt, clumpy boots brigade.

thegingerprince 13:02, reply

She was in Pearl Jam?

deep_stoat 10:35, reply

That's Pat Butcher, innit?

philanderer 17:42, reply

fayekorgazm 14:21, reply

deep_stoat 14:47, reply

philanderer 20:23, reply

The UK's Caitlyn Jenner

dawnsyndrome 16:00, reply

stan2a10shun 13:57, reply

__________ 3:51, reply

fayekorgazm 7:12, reply

soapy_handerton 19:28, reply

deep_stoat 8:45, reply

rogermoore 9:12, reply

Pull my finger.

deep_stoat 11:09, reply

*stares*

thegingerprince 10:28, reply

Yeah, but what about Pat Coombs?

deep_stoat 10:39, reply

"I 'ate you, Reaper!"

They're repeating On The Buses on ITVsomething at the moment and you can even get it on DVD box set if you feel in the mood to watch a comedy that reminds you how lucky you are to live in a UK that isn't that fucking grim, grey and unpleasant.

In a related issue, Reg Varney was actually the first member of the public in the UK to use a cashpoint. truemycockfact that is. His comments on it were reportedly.

"Its a good idea but it really needs bigger bristols, Eh luv?"

roger_mycock 6:53, reply

"I'll get you, Cilla!" *waves fist*

spank_daley 16:51, reply

Bloody Norah !

fayekorgazm 16:52, reply

I Trading Places

rogermoore 9:32, reply

i HATE idris elba

__________ 8:44, reply

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