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Bye then

Just heard the board is closing. Wanted to mark it by saying that this was the first place on the internet where I felt at home, among like-minded cunts. I learned all the best gossip here, saw nicknames become canon, made friends and laughed and laughed every single day.

Thanks for everything popbitch, you were fucking amazing xxx

hoskas 16:47, reply last thing;

Fuck it or eat it?

kitkat 13:06, reply

Rev Goatboy

miss him.

kipper4u 9:53, reply

All the tributes to the old Goat

Are still online here

onthehushhush 10:53, reply

It's been emotional. Thanks twunts x

cptfred 23:09, reply


Post it as a reply you cancerous cunt. (For old times sake). xx

hack_daniels 9:52, reply

Popbitch Messageboard 2000-2017

It's hard to believe that it's been so long since we got that horrible call, but this week marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Popbitch legend, Reverend Goatboy.

The internet has moved on quite a lot since then, and things have been quiet on here for a while now. So, in honour of our most famous poster, we will be closing the Popbitch messageboard at the end of this month.

The newsletter will continue as normal – and we are looking at ways to archive the messageboard's infamous and inglorious history for posterity – but (for now, at least) this is the end of the messageboard.

That gives you one week (until 31st July) to post any final stories you may have, or to revisit any of your favourites – plus a chance to say your farewells/call someone a cunt for the last time.

If you have a story you've been sitting on for a rainy day: post it below.

If you can't remember your log in/want to stay in touch/make sure you get invited out for random drinks/need to update contact details/want to protest:

Otherwise, the time has come. Collect your elephants, seals and sheep and make your way home...

popbitch 13:47, reply

You mean we won't even make it to A Levels Results Day?

How will I cope without my trio of busty teens?

humphrey_plugg 16:17, reply

Favourite posts?

So few to chose from, but when we were discussing if one of the board might have carked it in 9/11 and someone piped up with "I didn't see any *jumps from building* posts" still makes me smile a bit.

deep_stoat 15:44, reply

Favourite posts?

Oh, you know, *those* ones on 9/11.

Madge's (sorry, mlvc) quicky one-off post.

Any fawning Skeletor posts from s07466632257 or whatever she was called, especially if the thread ended in a mass brawl which usually did.

Otherwise, probably any that contained both pop and bitch. Goatboy's manic late night posts were always a joy, as were all his posts. Did he actually manage to animate that spider in the end?

Ones I'd like to bleach from my memory - the Lauren Harries and Nicola Holt nudes. Yeah, cheers, thanks for that *weeps into gin*

So farewell. I never did get an icon for my stunning deadpooling. Bah.

agnetha 16:17, reply

And yet Liphook... still a thriving online community.

RIP PB, thanks for being ace.

mrsjohnmurphy 15:33, reply

Can we have a day of outing each other?

Thanks for the smiles and outright laughs.

blessed_brian 15:14, reply


Anyway, I saw that Timothy Spall in St Pancras Friday morning, looking a bit lost and small and wizened in a recently lost a bit of weight kinda way

andym 14:06, reply


delete this shit

john_lewis_partnership 13:47, reply

A Shame...

Still, Weasel Of The Month as the board disappears isn't too shabby. Even though it has been a bit moribund of late, the board has always been one of the better corners of the web to find oneself in, it's a shame to see it finally d:

dr_strangelove 13:13, reply


Time to put the bins out.

kitkat 13:05, reply

10 years ..

The interwebs died a little bit with the Rev (regrouts) it's not been the same since and whatever happened to Hawkus?

thisonehasburst 12:31, reply

*salutes, tear in eye*

Fade to an extremely eloquent and vivid description of the recording of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell’s “Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Real Thing.”

toxicshop 11:12, reply

And the worst thing is, of course

That no matter how tedious the cunts on here are, they are all to a man 100% more wank in real life. And that's all we're left with. Real life. Fuck that. *pours petrol on virtual self*

onthehushhush 10:47, reply

I still miss the Rev

*dons tinfoil hat and has Breakfast of Champs*

mrsix 9:22, reply

After thinking he was about to get busted for ganj just before a show, FQ rammed a not inconsiderable amount of it up his backside to hide it. Slowly realising he was not in fact about to get busted, and becoming more and more f@cked, he attempted to remove it. From his own anus. With a teaspoon. Last found by his road manager in the dressing room, comatose, with pants down and a plastic teaspoon lodged in his rectum. Not sure if gig went at head, sorry.

Also, unprovable, but two ex mirror journos told me years before ulrika-gate that they'd been instructed on how to access messages by lets just say the guy we all know is too slimy not to be up to his ears in shite.

And Chris Addison - absolute tool of a man. That's all.

drunken_boht 9:19, reply

Fred Quimby?

Bye everyone x

talcum 11:13, reply

I'm just off to have a final

Pot Noodle & a wank.

EDITS: Tom's closing it down now.

bumspinach 9:02, reply

If we had a pound for every time

Tom Baker was mentioned here along with 'is in a bad way' we would have enough money to resurrect Holy Moly

soapy_handerton 14:51, reply


Where will I waste time surfing to now to laugh at the foibles of over-paid, talentless celebs? Even if most of my own posts were deleted or amended by some editor-cunt, it was a very proud moment when I acquired a sheep for a few days. Almost certainly a mistake, of course. I'll sorely miss the Popbitch Messageboard.

philanderer 7:55, reply

Your mum will be sad.

mike_hunt 7:51, reply

Yours will be to busy trying to scrub my.....

No, I can't finish it. I'm just too sad.

roger_mycock 8:07, reply

Shame! I remember when this was all dial-up fields...

beefsharky 7:28, reply

Prepares for the ceremonial putting out of the bins for the last time.

Fuck off and do some work you onanistic, sweaty, stalky, rapey, dubious bunch of utter utter utter cunts.

kerching 6:53, reply

I blame Brexit

*Raising a sad toast* to Popchienne or Pophündin or Popsuka, wherever the jobs are going.

strange_spiral 1:18, reply

Belinda for old times' sake?

Sad to see it go, so many good memories.

merc 21:48, reply

Wasn't the rumour that she was actually Neil Tennant?

And that Jonny5000 was either Victor Lewis-Smith or Charlie Brooker?

roger_mycock 8:04, reply

Alas no more...

will I be able to share my z-list pish from back in the 90s....I will forever be indebted to Clueless Joe for my lift choices... fanK yooo SOL CAPEL.

jimmy_corkhill 21:19, reply

Is this login still working?

So, following a roughly four-year posting history, a further 15-ish years of lurking comes to an end. Sad. Still have one of those stickered up "A-Z quiz" prize bottles in the back of a cupboard. There might even be some alcohol in it. Will raise a toast.

bearinthebigbluehouse 20:31, reply

I had a sneaking suspicion that this was coming

and I can understand why. I've been knocking about on here since 2003 ( I think.) and have enjoyed every moment. It always gave a warm glow when I either came top on QOTD or got a mention in the mailout. You might think I'm just easily pleased but genuinely when I was not able to work for nearly a year (due to my spastication as spank called it.) it cheered me up no end and that was very much needed during those dark days. And of course, the Rev was very kind to me as well during that time.

Special thanks from me go to spank_daley and of course, auntie_betty.

Its been fantastic but as the purple man once sang "All good things they say never last,"

I will now fuck off as I'm being a tedious cunt.

roger_mycock 20:00, reply

Can I have my GBP10 back please?

humphrey_plugg 19:32, reply

Can we bring a toy in on the last day?

dannyboyb 19:16, reply

Are you reading this, Sam, you cunt?

Thanks for the mustelids x

cunteyes 19:03, reply

Thanks to you lot for years of lots of fun and smiles

and to lurkers and posters near and far for contributing to my daughter's charity, and 'C' for her support. You are not all cunts. Good luck to you all. x

stan2a10shun 16:28, reply

A sad loss, regular lurker, few time poster but enjoyed it all the same

Hoping this may cause an outpouring of excellent gossip this week. Or you can all continue being silent cunts. X

sec 16:13, reply


Thanks for the board, and to everyone for your posts. I've only ever lurked (except for the deathpool), but have been a very regular lurker and have enjoyed all your gossip (repeated with glee) and name-calling. :)

Poor old Rev.


koala 16:10, reply

Regrouts, we've had a few (GYAC)

curlywurly 15:40, reply

Twitter killed the PB star/mong. Sad.

hack_daniels 14:04, reply

Well, Twitter killed it...

and any good P or B being swiftly deleted ('Too risky') before quickly reappearing in the Daily Star.

hack_daniels 9:55, reply

Rachel Stevens in Panto

Rachel Stevens will be appearing in Jack and the Beanstalk

at the Bournemouth Pavilion Theatre.

barry 19:41, reply

Good career move from here

philanderer 9:31, reply

Recorded 'Some Girls' but didnt realise it was a song about getting a music career by blowing your way to the top.

Still a more credible/less demeaning option than auditioning for the Voice.

mysterme 17:50, reply

Still a would, she'll be overjoyed to know.

deep_stoat 10:12, reply

But does she have the acting gravitas

Needed to play the magic beans?

soapy_handerton 13:12, reply

She'd get my widow twanky

or something

deep_stoat 8:55, reply

I would definitely do that thing with her using my penis.

If I still have one, which I'll check after Sunday lunch.

kitkat 2:27, reply

I'd blow my beans all over her stalk

(no, me neither to be honest)

spank_daley 13:34, reply


deep_stoat 9:26, reply

philanderer 13:56, reply

It's behind you!

mike_hunt 6:45, reply

But what's in her dressing room? Quavers, Wotsits or Mini Chedders?

Suddenly, this information has become desperately important. We need to know. We must know.

roger_mycock 20:39, reply

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