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“I’ve got B cups now” – Danny Dyer |
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Issue: 1205 Free newsletter every Thursday subscribe
Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* There goes the Sun
* Tunes with Tom Tugendhat
* PLUS: That Robbie Williams monkey |
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>> Wrong Maggie << |
When life gives you Lemonia |
The Daily Mail managed to get one farewell scoop out of Dame Maggie Smith, publishing her ‘final photos’.
A pap spotted Maggie eating lunch outside Lemonia in Primrose Hill a week before her death, a spot where she supposedly delighted other diners with her regular appearances.
The article, filled with titbits about what a character Maggie was being, was published on Monday morning. It was live for two whole days before anyone realised that they’d published pictures of a random old woman who was in fact not Maggie Smith.
The granddaughter of the woman in question got in touch with the Mail to complain, and since then it’s been pulled from the site. |
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When acquaintances of Maggie Smith asked whether she missed being in the Harry Potter film series she said not really. She’d “run out of faces to pull”. |
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>> Fart FM << |
Unbearable and Unkind |
Heart Radio is being terrorised by a phantom farter in the newsroom. Things got so bad that staff in the Leicester Square office received an all-office email addressing the culprit.
It reads: “Hello everyone, very quickly and feel bad to be saying this, but people need to stop passing wind on the floor, it’s becoming unbearable and unkind.
“USE THE TOILET!” |
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Director of Men in Black, Barry Sonnenfeld, said this week they had parping problems on set. “Will Smith is a farter… and you really don’t want to be in that kind of situation when it happens.” |
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>> Big Questions << |
Who’s asking what this week? |
Which celebrity businessman liked to buy his office girlfriends brand new Mazda MX5’s when he broke up with them?
In his heyday there were a lot of women driving Mazda MX5’s at his HQ… |
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Popbitch Racing Club – fancy joining us? We have a small number of spaces for the winter season. Now is the BEST time to join as our lovely horse just won this weekend at Epsom Downs, home of the world-famous Derby! Watch Simply Sondheim’s triumph and/or email club@popbitch.com for more details – £350 for the year will get you in! |
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>> Partygate 2 << |
This sequel = straight to video |
The Conservative Party Conference has just wrapped. If you thought the laughably gaffe-filled leadership campaign, Liz Truss back to being outshined by a lettuce and Boris Johnson not even getting his tame BBC interview summed up the downfall of the party of the last 14 years of government, you’re not even close.
Usually at this point, our inbox is dinging with gossip and messages about what happened behind the scenes.
This year? This email was the zenith of the scurrilous rumours that anyone could be bothered to send:
“Tory Party Conference LGBT Party! Ryan-Mark from The Apprentice (2019) ended up kissing half the club. Was totally pissed. Even shared a passionate snog with one of the TV news bosses!” |
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Nepo Babies Squared: Good piece in Sunday Times Business recently on the changes at Warner Music – that Elliott (son of Lucian) Grainge is now in a particularly good place there thanks to his close relationship with Val (son of owner Len) Blavatnik. |
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>> A bad sign << |
There goes The Sun |
As recession indicators go, personalised neon signs are a dead giveaway. This week one appeared in The Sun’s NYC newsroom, with the paper’s logo written across a globe.
It’s mounted on the wall behind editor Natalie Evans’s desk, shining out onto the floor’s empty desks. Three weeks ago The Sun US announced massive layoffs, cutting off around 80% of staff. (Evans keeps insisting she wasn’t fired and is instead just being moved to News Corp.)
But if there’s still budget for personalised neon signs, things can’t be that bad, right? |
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Spotted: Holly Willoughby in the audience at Abigail’s Party at Stratford East last night while Phil was castaway on Channel 5. |
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>> Mail Offline << |
In the content mines |
It’s tough times in the Mail Online’s NYC office too. Two weeks after they let 14 employees go, staff were told this week that they’d have to start registering the time they are clocking in and clocking out of the office.
The email from HR made remaining staff feel truly empowered and trusted, “Please clock in and out for each shift using the Web Punch system honestly and accurately. Your manager or supervisor will review and approve your timecard on a weekly basis to ensure compliance.”
Last one out, turn the lights off too. |
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Cheerful Earful, a festival of funny podcasts, goes global! Starting tomorrow (Friday) in Australia and continues through October in London. There’s (probably or at least maybe) something for everyone. Take a look, what have you got to lose?
[Get lineup and tickets here] |
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>> Rawdogging it << |
Just plane boring |
Sportsmen often get a bad rap for being a bit on the dull side. Focused and single minded on sport, but perhaps with a lack of cultural hinterland.
One Popbitch reader who sat near ex-England rugby stalwart Jeremy Guscott on a BA flight last weekend thought he was going to disprove this. He noticed that while Guscott was, stereotypically, watching rugby videos on his phone he also had his tablet open in front of him.
Figuring the England number 12 might be engrossed in a good book, movie or box set he leaned in to try and take a closer look.
And saw that alongside Jeremy keeping an eye on his rugby videos he was eagerly looking at… the golf at Royal Montreal.
FYI: Jez also caned a large bag of Haribo Supermix and packet of Walkers Ready Salted through the flight while Mrs Guscott preferred pickled onion Monster Munch. |
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Angelina Jolie has gone “Instagram official” with rapper Akala. Which means if it gets proper serious her sister-in-law would be Ms Dynamite. |
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>> Face for radio << |
Tunes with Tugendhat |
Tom Tugendhat told Tory Party Conference this week that he had “devoted his life to public service”. He conveniently edited out of his career history of service his time at Bloomberg Radio alongside Nicolai Gentchev in the early 2000s.
Conveniently, Tugendhat was also in the TA at the time and soon his military career took off.
Whether his time in uniform was an act of bravery or a way to get out of having to read out the FTSE index 10 times a day, who’s to say! |
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If you’ve ever wondered what the lovechild of Nelson Mandela and Ayrton Senna would be like, wonder no more. Lewis Hamilton says it’s who he is trying to be in life. |
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>> In the thick of it << |
Coogan’s one man show |
Armando Ianucci has adapted Dr Strangelove for the stage. The show opens in London’s West End next week.
Steve Coogan is, famously, playing all the roles that Peter Sellers did in the movie. But, in a bit of oneupmanship, he’s taking on one more than even Sellers managed.
As well as Dr Strangelove himself, the U.S President and Group Captain Mandrake, Coogan will be appearing as Major “King” Kong, the B-52 bomber pilot.
The role of Major Kong had been written for Sellers but he pulled out of it due to either too heavy a workload, sprained ankle or fear of not being able to master the required Texan accent, depending on which version you prefer. He was replaced in the movie by former rodeo star Slim Pickens. |
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Hate your neighbours, but also hate spending money? Pick My Postcode is the UK’s FREE daily lottery. Over half of the UK’s postcodes are now registered, so your neighbours might win some money without you, if you don’t sign up now. Simply enter your postcode and check back daily. Over £1.5 million has been won so far, probably by your neighbours.
[Play Pick My Postcode here] |
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>> Hmmms << |
Milk, memes, Mario 64 |
It’s the film you’ve been waiting for – Robbie Williams played by a monkey
[Watch trailer]
The 100 best songs of the decade so far according to Pitchfork
[Read on Pitchfork]
Stephen Mulhern: TV host, slum landlord?
[Read on Big Issue]
Richard Herring’s Hertfordshire house is up for sale
[Yours for just under £2 mill]
As is Paul O’Grady’s house
[For the love of dogging?]
The FT asked us about where/how best to have a gossipy lunch, which then apparently “prompted a rather embarrassing debate in Monday morning conference about the FT’s first ever use of “gak”.
[Gak attack] |
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Thanks to: RL, ATB Tony, NS, GDC, PD, M, SK
And each of you 642 observant readers who spotted that Bobby Hebb died in 2010 and not 2024 |
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Old, Old Jokes Home
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit visit a blood bank. The rabbit says to the receptionist “I think I’m a type O”.
Still Bored?
Neil Hamburger is back on tour in UK. Don’t miss
[Trailer video and tour dates]
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