The Second Serve // Mistaken Identities

There’s been a handful of stories come our way these last few days that revolve around failure to recognise celebrities. Never ones to ignore an obvious sign, we decided we should collect them together – along with a few other fun stories of celebrity camouflage, mistaken identity and some classics of the “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” genre.

If you have any stories of celebs flying under the radar – or trying desperately to get themselves on it – email: club@popbitch.com

On Thursday, we linked to a video of an Australian TikToker who conducted an ad hoc on-the-street interview with Baz Luhrmann – completely unaware of who he was. It was a big week for that sort of thing.

BBC London sent a reporter down to Brockwell Park to cover the story of the ‘mudbath’ that’s been created there that threatened to upend this weekend’s Mighty Hoopla festival.

The “local resident” they found to interview about what live events had done to the state of the park? Elly Jackson.

Who they didn’t seem to twig is… La Roux.

Lib Dem leader Ed Davey’s campaign antics aren’t just embarrassing for him. Last week he arranged a press call on a water slide in Somerset, where he jumped in a two person inflatable dinghy.

GB News were unimpressed by the stunt, with hosts Andrew Pierce and Bev Turner giving running commentary of Davey’s choice of shipmate. Andrew criticised Davey for “capturing a poor child who looks desperately scared.” “I’m not sure if it is a child,” replied Bev, “It’s another man!”

We were surprised neither of them recognised Matthew Thompson, Sky News’s political correspondent. Especially as Andrew and Bev had both previously worked with him at LBC.

Many moons ago, Michael Gambon celebrated the end of a West End run by joining the rest of the cast in the pub. One of the younger actors was ID-less and struggling to get served, so Gambon offered to get a round in.

He was affronted to be refused too when he tried to buy a pint for his baby-faced colleague. “Don’t you know who I am?” Gambon demanded. “Of course I do Sir Michael”, the barman replied, without missing a beat, “but I’m still not serving you because he hasn’t got ID.”

So the cast all relocated to a pub across the street, where Gambon put in his order again. “Do they all have ID?” the new barman asked.

“Don’t you fucking start”, Gambon growled back.

And growled so well that the pints were served – no further questions.

There’s occasionally rare examples of the reverse “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” routine. The lesser known “Don’t I Know Who You Are?” For example:

Someone who frequents a fancy Hampstead health club remembers arriving one day for a workout to find Sean Bean at the front desk, arguing with the receptionist about taking out a membership.

Sean was insisting on getting his membership at the special discounted rate for the unemployed. But the receptionist knew who he was, and knew that we was a well-known, wealthy actor – so didn’t quite understand why he thought he qualified for it.

His justification was that he was unemployed because he was ‘between films’.

JK writes:
“I was out some years ago at a birthday party for a club in Brighton, and was weirdly the only civilian in the group I was with (Zoe Ball, Norman Cook, Mark Williams, Steve Coogan and some others). While chatting with the ever-charming Mark and an already downbeat Coogan, a fan came up with a camera and asked for a photo. Steve begrudgingly readied himself for the photo with the fan and Mark, when she handed the camera to a crestfallen Coogan.

“His face never recovered all night.”

IW writes:
“When I was working at the Vue Cinema in a shopping centre on Finchley Road, Geri Halliwell would come in and insist on getting a free children’s popcorn combo for her daughter. If you questioned her not paying she would pull a classic ‘Don’t you know who I am?’, insist that she was in all the time – then ask to speak to the manager who she would bore until getting the free popcorn.”

KW writes:
“Somewhere around the turn of the century, The Gloucester Arms was Oxford’s only rock/alternative club. It also happened to be rather close to the theatres. Matt Lucas once tried to ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ his way past the bouncers into the pub (which was always on the edge of the fire regs).

“The look on his face when they told him they knew exactly who he was and couldn’t give less of a toss is one that will stick with me to the grave.”

It’s a brand new month and we’ve got yet more music quizzes for you to test the outer reaches of your crap pop knowledge.

The premise is simple. We chop up ten songs (usually on some sort of tenuous theme) then stitch them together into a continuous two-and-a-bit minute mix. All you have to do is listen to it, then name the ten songs you’ve heard, plus the ten artists who recorded them.

Give yourself a point for each. Ten songs, ten artists – twenty points.

Monday’s theme: Who Are You?

[Play it here]

Holloway Road’s most indecisive kebab shop
[See on Twitter]

The end of merch?
[Read on GQ]

OnlyFans x Football – the weird (and nasty) world of premier league clubs’ X-rated ambassadors
[Read on The Face]