“A Fan Of Sculpture”

It’s no wonder Boris Johnson refused to accept his comms guy Jack Doyle’s resignation. Dealing with afterparty fallout is one of Jack’s specialities.

During his days as editor of the student paper at the University of Manchester, Jack hosted a gathering in the paper’s offices. One that was subsequently investigated by alarmed student union staff after it was found that all the costly computers in the office had had their browsers set to an extremely explicit adult website – with a particular focus on bum-widening activities.

Sadly, we’ll have to leave you to make your own massive arsehole joke. We have spam filters to consider.

Panto season has got theatre types all reminiscing about their most notable celebrity encounters over the years.

Someone who worked at a large venue up north was remembering the time they had Peter Kay in to film a segment for his “Britain’s Got The Pop Factor…” parody. Filming was running over, so Kay asked two of the venue staff if they’d mind staying late to keep the building open a bit longer. In return, he promised them both £50, cash in hand.

They agreed. Peter got his extra shooting time. And then did a runner out the back so he didn’t have to cross their paths and pay up.

Which panto production will be secretly thanking their lucky stars that Omicron complications have closed their show? It spares them having to deal with the looming HR crisis caused after cast and crew staged a walk-out in protest of one star’s “inappropriate behaviour” towards younger members of the company.

Nestled in among all the smiling staff at Shaun Bailey’s rule-breaking Christmas bash was property developer-slash-Tory donor Nick Candy a.k.a. Mr Holly Valance. Embarrassing though the snap will have been for Nick, Holly must be glad that karma got him back.

Once upon a time, Nick had a run of magazines printed to celebrate the couple’s marriage: a sort of ‘Holly-through-the-ages’ thing, as seen by Nick, with a running commentary about how fit he thinks she is and how lucky he was to have pulled her. (All perfectly accurate.)

But the magazine’s piece de resistance was the shot of Holly hugging a humongous dick-shaped statue – with the caption: “Holly had always been a fan of sculpture”.

Lisa Snowdon has been telling OK! this week that she and her fiancé aren’t going to be exchanging Xmas presents this year because “being together is enough”. We’re pretty certain her fiancé won’t be complaining about that particular set-up.

Back when Lisa was filming a BBC series with Trevor Nelson, she was seen out in the BBC car park doing a few pre-shoot stretches in a white one-piece. Having clocked Trevor gawping at her, she was heard saying: “Think that’s good? You should see me fuck…”

Here’s a recent dispatch from the eagle-eyed pedestrians of Brighton.

On Monday, in the Seven Dials area of Brighton, a black Mercedes was pootling down the road when it suddenly mounted the pavement and came to a stop. Quick as a flash, the back door opened and a passenger tumbled out. Warren Ellis, who shook his flowing hair out before making a beeline to the pharmacy across the road.

As this black Mercedes had nearly knocked our reader down, they were keen to see which reckless cabbie had come so close to clipping them.

Sat up front, alone at the wheel while Warren rode in the back? Nick Cave.

Not content with spoiling No.10’s Xmas parties, the Mirror seems pretty hellbent on spoiling their own too.

Last year, Reach PLC offered employees a £25 voucher as a thank you for their hard work. All staff had to do to claim it was email HR and tell them specifically that they didn’t want their £25 to go to charity and wanted it as a retail voucher instead.

This year, they’ve added a third option. Instead of simply deciding whether or not to snatch their voucher out of the hands of the needy, employees also have to consider if they want to attend the Reach Xmas party (which is being postponed until next year). If so, they can RSVP – but their £25 will be bunged in the kitty for that instead.

Presumably the idea is to make the whole idea of a party so annoying and unappealing that they won’t be embarrassed this time next year by any photos.

Christmas is really the only time of the year that most people pay attention to the charts any more – so here’s a quick look at the trends of 2021.

In the entire second half of the year (Jul-Dec), there has only been one week where either Ed Sheeran, Adele or Elton John wasn’t number one. The Ed’n’Elton x LadBaby single all but guarantees that they’ll have the rest of the year sewn up too.

The only week they didn’t manage to claim was 1st-7th July, when Olivia Rodrigo was at number one with Good 4 U. The same Olivia Rodrigo who also took up 13 of the 26 weeks in the first half of the year.

Public documents surfaced last week revealing that a fire chief in the city of Plano, Texas had recently been suspended and demoted after he was caught with his cock out at a drive-thru, exposing his penis ring to a fast food worker.

It’s resulted in some bad headlines for Plano, but they’ve acted quickly to move the news cycle on. This week, they announced they’ve just promoted a brand new fire chief. So fingers crossed everyone forgets all the recent unpleasantness under the guidance of the new chief… Chris Biggerstaff.

Stuff moves fast these days and a single Thursday email is not always enough for the thirstier gossips among you. So if you’re in the market for a little more Popbitch in your life, why not take a look at our new premium subscription service: Club Popbitch.

For a small monthly fee, you’ll get to step behind the velvet rope and enjoy a whole host of exclusive Popbitch benefits – including a second weekly email on Mondays, daily music quizzes, monthly downloadable Play-At-Home Popquizzes and full access to the entire Popbitch site.

For £4 a month, not only will you get membership for December (which includes a free copy of our annual Xmas quiz) you’ll also get access to all of the Club Popbitch back issues and quizzes so far.

And those who want full VIPbitch status at £10 a month will get access to some extra bonuses (like our digital Happy Hour Q&As: coming soon) and some IRL goodies too – including a special welcome gift only available for VIPs (prototypes are on their way to us).

Find out more and support us for the coming year, so we can keep bringing you good gossip for years to come…

[Club Popbitch]

“I can’t condone being called the Queen of Christmas! Mary is the Queen of Christmas! The Mother of Christ!”
[Mariah Carey on Xmas]

Guess the Owen Wilson movie from the “Wow”
[Play Wow-en Wilson]

Want to do some good this festive season? See what you can do for the homeless with Connection At St Martin’s
[Show your connection]

An oral history of Mars Attacks
[Read on Inverse]

The Ballad Of Jean And Jorts
[Read on Reddit]

New baby polar bear just dropped
[Highland Wildlife Park]

Wine pairings for analingus
[Read on Gawker]

Local News Of The Week: Dog Shit Calendar Edition
[Read on Oxford Mail]

Still Bored?
The downloadable, play-it-yourself Popbitch Xmas Quiz 2021 is out now. Don’t let reports of your rule-busting Xmas party embarrass you next December. Do something fun, like the Popbitch Popquiz. And it works just as well at home, in isolation or over Zoom, if that’s more your thing.
[Get your copy here]