A Nice Hot Pint Of Cream

Today has seen a packed high court hearing of Rooney v ……….Rebekah Vardy’s Account, aka The Wagatha Christie Trial. As nervous as Coleen and Rebekah will be about it all, there’s someone else who’ll be chewing their nails over the outcome: David Sherborne, Coleen’s lawyer.

After becoming one of the breakout stars of the Leveson Inquiry, and enjoying a long golden stretch as the A-list’s go-to guy, Sherborne has had a pretty rough run of luck recently. Dropped by Meghan Markle ahead of her upcoming case, then unable to secure a win for Johnny Depp.

Who knows? Maybe third time’s the charm.

It’s barely mid-November and already the annual Fairytale Of New York discourse has kicked off in earnest. It seems to get earlier with each passing year – not that a man like Shane MacGowan has much concern for such frivolous things as ‘seasons’.

One Popbitch reader fondly remembers the time they were sat in the beer garden of a Dublin pub on a scorching hot summer’s day when who should pitch up on the table next to them but Shane MacGowan.

Dressed in a full, heavy-looking three-piece suit, Shane was clearly feeling the heat. So he wasted no time in making short work of a nice, refreshing pint.

Of Baileys.

Which supermodel once helped a friend break up with her boyfriend by wandering up to the bloke at a party, peeling off her clothes and asking if he fancied fucking her instead?

Commentators still can’t quite work out what stance to take on Lewis Hamilton. A working class boy, but with a tax exile’s lifestyle in Switzerland and Monaco. A climate change social media warrior, but backed by a huge oil and gas company. A human rights advocate who’s been pretty coy about the F1’s expansion into Saudi Arabia.

Some of the people who work with him have a slightly more clear-cut opinion though. His habit of making them travel coach while he goes everywhere first class has resulted in them calling him “Joffrey”.

Laurence Fox might have overdone the tough guy act a bit on Twitter this week, telling health secretary Matt Hancock that he’d need “at least four police officers” as back-up if he ever tried to force a vaccine on him – but then Lozza has always been extremely hot on the matter of pharmaceutical privacy.

When he appeared as a guest on Loose Women a few years back, one of the other segments in the same show was a feature on the hygiene of handbags. Research had shown that the average tote bag contained more bacteria than a toilet seat, so the panelists were testing out how toxic theirs all were.

When asked by producers if he’d be game to join in and maybe have his wallet swabbed to find out what’s been lurking in there, Laurence was quick to shut it down – saying “No, we won’t be doing that.”

Jodie Kidd impressed viewers with her recent stint on ITV’s Don’t Rock The Boat. While the rest of the celebrity crew on the rowing trip from Cornwall to Scotland found themselves knocked out by seasickness, Jodie just kept on rowing.

Hopefully it’s enough to earn her a nickname she can be proud of. Back in her modelling days she had to endure years of one that was less than complimentary when an unfortunate blemish on some Elle Macpherson intimates she returned to the fashion department of a photo shoot resulted in her being known as Jodie Skidd.

With the ground already being laid for Lockdown 3 after Christmas, we just wanted to remind you we’re running a daily email service to provide a tiny bit of fun and silliness in among the unending slog of the news cycle.

This week, daily subscribers have been treated to a whole host of other stories we don’t have space to cover here, like Ben Affleck’s Christmas tan, Kelly Osbourne’s soupy lap, Rupert Everett’s unusual cutlery choices, and much more.

You can catch up on them all on our online archive, or you can sign up and get them straight to your inbox each afternoon.

[Catch up/sign up here]

AM writes:
“I was at an independent fashion label launch in the late noughties at Bush Hall where Kate Moss was doing her first catwalk after having retired for several years. Later that night I was in the loo when out popped Moss along with Alison Mosshart from The Kills. They emerged from the same cubicle, looking slightly worse for wear, with the latter proclaiming, ‘Well, that was a good conference call.'”

Yesterday’s daily issue was filled with cabin crew gossip about celebrity passengers and their in-flight behaviour…

K writes:
“We had Liza Minnelli on a flight from JFK. She insisted on boarding first but delayed boarding for so long because she was at the gate singing to all the passengers.

“When she finally boarded (dressed in a black rhinestone-studded juicy couture velour tracksuit and huge sunglasses) she greeted us all with a “Hello, darlings!” and was helped to her seat. Her assistant whispered to us ‘Under no circumstances do you offer Ms Minnelli ANY ALCOHOL.’ She spent the six hour flight to London reclined in her bed eating a huge box of chocolates, having her feet massaged by our inflight beauty therapist.”

X writes:
“I worked on a short-lived BBC1 series called ‘High Street Dreams’ in which Jo Malone mentored members of the public who had a new brand they wanted to market.

“As you may know, the BBC is very strict on not being seen to give companies and brands undue prominence (which is why a presenter will refer to something like ‘curled cheese puffs’ when someone is clearly eating Wotsits; or use the phrase ‘Other [X]s are available’). This is overseen by a department within the BBC called Editorial Policy, which is nearly always referred to by the abbreviation ‘ed. pol.’

“Between Malone’s own various smelly unguents, the would-be brands and the high street shops, High Street Dreams was an Editorial Policy minefield. TV newcomer Jo Malone was constantly hearing the phrase ‘ed. pol. won’t allow that’ or ‘We have to take that bit out after speaking to ed. pol.’. She got increasingly frustrated but in the end she came up with a solution – ‘Why don’t I just take this Ed Pole guy out for lunch and see if I can smooth things over?'”

How did an obscure Pavement B-side become their most streamed song on Spotify?
[Interesting algorithm story]

Eric Clapton’s yacht is for sale
[$7.5m and it’s yours]

Live puffin cam
[See in their burrow]

Drag Race UK star Divina De Campo has a Christmas EP out tomorrow
[Pre-save it here]

The highest paid dead celebrities
[See on Forbes]

How has ‘Yes Sir I Can Boogie’ become a Scottish football anthem?
[Read on Vice]

Local News of the Week: Bollard Shagging Disasters
[Read on Doncaster Free Press]

If you need any Play-At-Home Popbitch Popquizzes for the weekend, our most recent bundle is here
[Autumn Bundle]

Still Bored?
Nature’s weirdest dicks
[Read on the Smithsonian]