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* A purse full of fifties
* A toothpaste miniature for Xmas
* PLUS: The Curtis cash-in |
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| >> Amuse bouche << |
| Cameron’s sausage party |
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Coverage of David Cameron’s recent return to the heart of government has tended to paint him as a superior statesman who commands respect. We’re not entirely sure that’s the case in Whitehall though.
Not judging by the number of stifled giggles there were at Cameron’s Christmas Party at the Foreign Office this week – when they served up pigs in blankets… |
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| Spotted chuckling along to Pandemonium (the Armando Iannucci play about the Covid government) in London this week: Amber Rudd. |
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| >> Waiting for AJ << |
| Strictly no filming |
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As a recent finalist herself, you’d have thought AJ Odudu would have a decent idea of how to behave in the Strictly studio. But no.
AJ was in the audience last weekend and snagged herself a seat front and centre, where she had to be told by security multiple times to not film or photograph the show during takes. Eventually she was forced to put her phone away completely – much to the surprise and frustration of other audience members, who had all had their phones confiscated on arrival.
She was also frequently late back to her seat after breaks in filming. So much so that the warm-up guy got good mileage out of roasting her for keeping the show waiting. |
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| Benjamin Zephaniah’s first kiss was with Ozzy Osbourne’s sister. |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
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Which millionaire comedian and TV presenter collected all the free toiletries from the hotels he stayed in on tour, then wrapped them up and regifted them to staff at his agency? One lucky staffer got the contents of a Virgin Airlines vanity kit as their “thank-you” present. |
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| >> Daly expenses << |
| Getting money from Tess co |
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Further stories about Tess Daly’s impressively tight purse strings have been dribbling in since last week’s hair salon story.
She was infamous among runners on Strictly for asking them to nip out to pick her up some stuff from the shops – then leaving runners to pay for it themselves. They were able to claim that money back through expenses, but runners can barely afford their own shopping on their salaries – much less the talent’s as well – so they really feel the bite waiting for reimbursement claims to clear.
One runner who finally did chalk up the courage to admit they didn’t have the funds to cover Tess’s snack bill, heard Tess sigh a weary “Fine!” – before opening her purse to reveal a massive wad of fifties. |
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| Kate & Lila Moss flew First Class BA from JFK to Heathrow yesterday. They had a lower class experience at the airport though. They were still waiting for their luggage at the carousel 45 minutes later, looking distinctly unimpressed. |
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| >> Talk/Back << |
| Making plans for Nigel |
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Nigel Farage finally got the media moment he’s been so desperately craving ever since entering the jungle, when camera crews followed him getting a hero’s welcome from GB News colleagues as he returned to the studio.
Quite how long this office bonhomie lasted is unclear. Rumours have since gone round the studio that, immediately prior to this photo opp, Farage had taken a meeting with a senior News UK figure to discuss the possibility of a Piers Morgan-style multi-platform deal there. |
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| The most watched pop artist in the world on Vevo isn’t Taylor Swift, it’s Colombia’s Karol G. |
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| >> Post-truth << |
| An interesting omission |
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ITV has a new miniseries on the slate for 2024: Mr Bates vs The Post Office. It’s a biopic of the Post Office scandal in which an IT fuck-up saw hundreds of employees wrongly accused of theft and fraud, a saga generally considered to be one of the worst miscarriages of justice in UK history.
A quick look at the cast list shows they’ve found someone to play Paula Vennells, the CEO of Post Office Ltd at the time, but there’s no-one playing Adam Crozier, who was CEO of Royal Mail Ltd.
Crozier played a significant role in the real-life scandal, but looks to have been snipped out of the dramatisation. Maybe it was just too tricky to write the scene where Crozier left Royal Mail to become CEO of… ITV. |
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This cashmere hood sold out in under a week, here’s why: it moonlights as both a hat and a scarf, it’s expertly crafted from Grade-A Mongolian cashmere and Australian merino wool, it’s super soft, and it’s available in 7 different colours. Don’t miss out – pre-order your hood now.
[Pre-order at Rise & Fall] |
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| >> Low Mark << |
| Everything’s for sale |
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Embattled Tory grifter Michelle Mone has made a big song and dance about giving her side of the story of the multi-million pound PPE Medpro scandal in a brand new ‘investigative’ doc funded by… PPE Medpro.
The patsy paid to host this risible bit of client journalism was Mark Williams-Thomas: the self-styled media investigator best known for breaking the Jimmy Savile story.
Why would a man with a profile like his agree to front such obvious propaganda? Well, MWT is no stranger to a bit of shady backroom dealing himself. In his time, he’s been investigated for blackmail, was the driving force behind the disastrous Cliff Richard paedo raid, and was excoriated by the judge in the collapsed third trial of Jonathan King.
One of the things the judge took particular objection to in that case was MWT taking his notebooks home with him when he left the police force. Then selling the names, addresses and statements of witnesses in an active celebrity sex abuse investigation to journalists – asking for a fee that was “commensurate” with the “significant risk” he’d taken in sneaking the material. |
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| Everton’s new ownership group isn’t just ringing alarm bells with fans. Fellow Premier League bosses were horrified by 777’s Josh Wander’s attitude at their recent meeting, shocking his besuited peers by keeping his baseball cap on the whole time. |
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| >> Every little helps << |
| Reaching a new low |
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Every year for the last few years, we’ve told you about Reach PLC’s increasingly shit Xmas bonus scheme, where they try to guilt-trip employees into donating their annual bonuses to the company kitty and pay for their own Xmas party, easing the strain on corporate resources.
We were expecting it to be worse this year – given the cost of living crisis and the slew of staff cuts and redundancies Reach has been making – but we have to hand it to the bosses. They have come with the most bafflingly crap treat for 2023.
Reach’s national titles (the Mirror, the Star, the Express) have recently been running a competition in conjunction with Tesco to give readers the chance to win 2x£250 giftcards to help with their Xmas shopping.
The good news for Reach staff this year? Bosses have arranged it so that employees can enter the contest for themselves too. All they have to do is complete an entry form and provide proof of purchase of their own Tesco shops by 17th Dec. |
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| Staff at South China Morning Post are just finding out that the paper printed a big Op-Ed about the Ukraine war by a Slovak foreign policy expert, Peter Sojka. Who turned out to be entirely made up – photo, biog, everything. |
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| >> Crap, actually << |
| ‘Tis the season to be sloppy |
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Opportunistic Xmas cash-ins are nothing new, but Richard Curtis has curated an especially egregious one in London’s Southbank. A variety show called Christmas, Actually.
Media reviews have not been kind, but nowhere near as bad as the ones from folks unlucky enough to actually pay for their tickets. We’re told the only highlight of Thursday’s show was Ruby Wax – who stormed off stage with a heartfelt “fuck off”.
It was so dire that even the ushers – who were paid to be there – were heard complaining. They told audience members to count their blessings, as they only had to endure it once. The ushers had to sit through it eight times.
Still, it’s all for a good cause. And Comic Relief will no doubt benefit hugely from the whopping 5% of net profits it’s getting from the production it’s billed as being in aid of. |
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Joey Barton is mental. He punches children, quotes Nietzsche, and once sunk his teeth into his own club captain. And that’s just the tame stuff. From cigars in eyes to zoo animals on the loose, listen to his insane story on The Upshot podcast.
[Listen here] |
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| Thanks to: deep_stoat, MusicmIx, AM, NB, MK, big_ben, bobbi_fleckmann, anon, GM, NF, TI, AS, LC, ME, HS, MC |
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Old Jokes Home
I’ve downloaded an 80s music quiz game.
I can’t get past Level 42.
Still Bored?
Bored of the same old Xmas songs? Here’s 1hr 40 mins of Xmas songs, unusual festive covers, film and TV clips all sewn together fairly seamlessly for the curious festive music lover
[Play it here] |
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