| Have you been good this year? LELO doesn’t care. They want orgasms for everyone – and with seasonal discounts across their stunning range of sex toys, now’s the time to get them. [Stuff your stockings with LELO] |
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“There’s some metal and jungle that is a bit much for me, but I’m into everything else pretty much” – Charlotte Church |
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Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Fergie’s festive shut-out
* GB News: good for a laugh
* PLUS: Vardy flies again |
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| >> Girls << |
| Celebrity love rivals |
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Louis Theroux’s big interview with Rita Ora this week briefly touched upon the bad blood between her and Rihanna. Louis was keen to uncover what was at the root of it, while Rita diplomatically tried to not pin it on any one thing.
Louis said he’d heard Rihanna deliberately sat on songs she had no intention of releasing, just to stop their label from passing them on to Rita. However true that is, another problem was Rihanna sitting on something else.
The story at the time was that Rita and Rihanna had fallen out as they were both fighting for the split attention of the same girl. Cara Delevingne. |
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| Good news everyone! Talk is underway for a fourth Johnny English film. (And they say cinema is struggling…) |
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| >> Ball games << |
| Getting in his cups |
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Michael Ball and Alfie Boe have announced their Christmas special for Channel 5 will be the two of them exploring Las Vegas.
Obviously what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, so there’s no telling exactly what will make the final broadcast. However, we happen to know a little of what happened on that trip. Ball and Boe went to see Silk Sonic at Park MGM before heading off to a late night spot to play some bar games.
Because Michael Ball is a big fan of beer pong. |
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| Nominative Determinism Of The Week: the journalist writing in the Ipswich Star about Suffolk residents scammed out of tens of thousands in an online fraud… Tom Swindles! |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
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Which Radio 5 DJ likes to recite famous movie dialogue while having sex? |
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He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. And MANSCAPED will help with a discounted price. Get your man the tools he really wants this Christmas: The Lawn Mower® 4.0 body trimmer, some ball-toning lotion and anti-chafing boxers from MANSCAPED’s legendary Performance Package 4.0. There’s 20% off and free shipping on all orders right now too.
[Get MANSCAPED] |
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| >> Royal mess << |
| The Ferg-otten one returns |
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With quite a few seats freed up at the table now, Prince Charles has announced that Sarah Ferguson has been invited to join the official Royal Christmas for the first time in 30 years. Lizzie will be fuming from the other side.
Fergie was originally blacklisted from the Queen’s annual gathering as punishment for all the embarrassment her toe-sucking exploits caused.
Because Andrew and the girls still got a full invite, Fergie was originally permitted to stay nearby in a cottage on the outskirts of the grounds – but she wasn’t exactly made to feel welcome. One year, estate staff told her to expect the delivery of a Christmas tree to brighten up her cottage. A tree which soon came sailing over the hedge, tossed from the back of a pick-up truck without a word and left in the garden for her to deal with. |
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| N writes: “More on the Bruce Dickinson story: my mate went to Oundle in the early 90s and heard that after Bruce was expelled he arranged for a load of manure to be dumped on the housemaster’s lawn, as revenge.” |
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| >> Frangopoulols << |
| Enoch is enough |
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Sometimes when everything is going wrong, all you can do is laugh. That seems to be the approach adopted by GB News CEO Angelos Frangopoulos.
Two of its contributor-presenters spoke out in solidarity with Enoch Powell this week, throwing the beleaguered channel into yet another crisis of its own making. Overnight, two advertisers pulled out – yet when depressed staff asked Angelos the next morning what he intended to do about any of it, all he did was laugh and say “Well, maybe they’ve got a point…?” |
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| Further to last week’s cheetah chat: Steve Kutner still keeps all sorts of exotic pets. He lives in Broxbourne and once when one of his wolves got out, the police had to send out trained marksmen in a helicopter looking for it. |
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| >> Mone-y troubles << |
| With friends like these… |
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As the net continues to tighten around Michelle Mone and her secret £29m PPE payday, a kiss of death has come from a very unexpected place.
Doing a bit of damage control on Instagram, Mone posted a note to all her followers reminding them “Don’t believe everything you read or everything you think”. The sentiment clearly resonated with one celeb, who jumped into the comments to post a couple of praise hands emojis and the words “Exactly this x”.
Who?
It’s………. Rebekah Vardy’s account. |
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Outrageously rude Christmas cards and gifts. Christmas has come early with 25% off all orders. Just use discount code POP25 at checkout.
[www.deanmorriscards.co.uk] |
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| >> Pen pals << |
| Brexit through the script shop |
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Kwasi Kwarteng isn’t the only MP using Brexit as a jumping off point into the glamorous world of scriptwriting. Mark Francois has been working on a screenplay too – about the inside story of Brexit’s progress through Parliament.
It might not sound like the most fascinating of stories, but we’re told Francois has a surprisingly good grasp of pacing, picking out all the story beats you need to hit with a Hollywood blockbuster. |
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| University friends of Kwasi Kwarteng remember him turning up to play sport in brogues. |
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| >> Plane vain << |
| Check in, check out |
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Another entry in our unexpectedly long-running Celebrities Admiring Themselves In Aeroplanes And Airports series…
RG writes:
“I saw Shane Warne in the airport spending quite some time at the newsagent checking out all the magazines – as he was on the cover of most of them, having just split with Liz Hurley. He didn’t buy one, the proprietor was most annoyed.” |
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| Switching on the Christmas lights in Highbury last weekend: Corinne from Swing Out Sister. |
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| >> Talking shite << |
| Not much to credit |
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A stalker who subjected Claire Foy to a relentless campaign of harassment over the last few years is now staring down the barrel of a lengthy stretch in the slammer.
He first approached Foy claiming to be a movie producer – and it turns out the guy does actually have an IMDB page to his name. There’s only one film he’s managed to complete so far though.
A short called ‘Cow Shite Road’. |
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Enjoy an authentic taste of Italy this December with Pasta Evangelists. Their weekly menus make the best of seasonal recipes from all over Italy – and if that wasn’t tempting enough, Popbitch readers can get also 25% off their first two orders, plus one complimentary tiramisù and two FREE 5cl PIMM’S Sundowner minis in the first order. (T&Cs apply)
[Use this link – first come; first served] |
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| Thanks to: ED, deep_stoat, MB, F, gentlemanthug, babs, AH, RG, NO, bitch_with_the_accent, G, GB, HD, N, anon, DR, mosntris |
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Old Jokes Home
My new Fleetwood Mac sat nav is crap.
It just keeps telling me to go my own way.
Still Bored?
Bobby Fingers creates a scale diorama of Steven Seagal getting choked out by Gene LeBell
[Incredible] |
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