Mr Phantom Pickle Pants

From all the reporting in this week’s press, it looks as though Victoria Beckham’s 50th birthday party was a roaring success. Behind the scenes though, Posh did have one little complaint.

A tabloid photographer has since been reprimanded by his editor after Posh’s people put in a complaint about him. It was regarding his attire. He’d arrived to the party in a T-shirt.

With the slogan “STOP MAKING STUPID PEOPLE FAMOUS” emblazoned on the front.

About ten years ago there was a spate of 90s pop stars all taking to eBay to flog off bits of their old memorabilia in order to raise some sorely needed cash. Abz from 5ive was trying to auction off his Brit Award; Jo O’Meara was hawking loads of S Club tour tat under the name lennyboy831.

Now it seems the time has come for 00s pop stars to start clearing out their attics and seeing what treasures they can bear to part with.

Currently for sale at Deptford Market is a 3x platinum disc, awarded in recognition of 900,000 sales of Cheryl Cole’s album 3 Words. The disc that was issued to Taio Cruz.

Which senior exec in a major UK newsroom has just had his previous life as an “ironic” YouTube comedian uncovered by colleagues? The video getting the most shares among co-workers is the seven-minute tutorial on how to deal with unwanted erections.

Stats FM has a feature that highlights artists’ Top Listeners: i.e. the Spotify users who stream each artist the most.

For the most part, it’s a succession of strangers and randos – but it does occasionally toss up someone recognisable. Such as the list of the most devoted listeners to Hear’Say in Spotify history.

In at number four on that list – with 875 minutes of streaming time… Dan Wootton!

This time last year, a Birmingham man was targeting the set of Joe Lycett’s Channel 4 show – taking his dogs out specifically to shit right outside the Digbeth studio each morning. With this year’s series, they’ve got an even weirder situation playing out.

For the last nine months, pairs of newish-looking pants have been regularly discarded on the nearby canal tow path – with a large amount of pickle smeared in the gusset.

There’s a guy who regularly pops up, loudly complaining about these disgusting pants, asking anyone who’ll listen if they have any idea who “Mr Phantom Pickle Pants” is.

Locals have long since assumed it’s the same guy, dumping the pants then complaining about them for a bit of attention. And these suspicions were only heightened when they saw him outside the set of Late Night Lycett recently, warning security guards to be on the lookout as “Mr Phantom Pickle Pants strikes again!”

As TalkTV leaves the airwaves and a bunch of its former stars find themselves out of a job, there’s now a big clamour over at NewsUK to snap up the “new digital projects” that have been promised to take the place of the failed channel.

To give themselves the edge in the commissioning process, canny producers have figured out that their best chance of getting a project green-lit is to make sure their pitch includes one of Head Of TV Richard Wallace’s (exceedingly telegenic) personal faves –   Becca Hutson and James Schneider.

So looks like we’re going to be seeing a lot more of them in the future.

Have you been following the Telegraph’s vendetta against Pret A Manger recently? For weeks now they’ve been taking every chance they can to have a pop at the sandwich slingers, picking up on every little problem the chain has and making a big song and dance of it.

Anyway, here’s two little bits of inside information regarding it all:

a/ This week, Pret A Manger delivered thousands of pounds’ worth of food to the Telegraph’s office by way of an olive branch – with a personal letter from the MD apologising for the issues the paper has raised.

b/ The Telegraph’s entire anti-Pret stance only came about because the paper’s editor Chris Evans couldn’t get their app to work on his phone – so commissioned a string of hit pieces to vent his frustration.

David Pecker has resumed his testimony at Trump’s hush money trial today in NYC. Although much of what he’s going to admit has been reported previously (not least by us in 2017), publicly throwing Trump under the bus is likely to win him some new admirers.

We’d advise not stanning him too hard though.

It’s well known that the protected rich guys the Enquirer sought to squash stories on were known as “F.O.P’s” – or “Friend of Pecker’s”.

What’s less well known is the nickname that his more obsequiously devoted employees at the Enquirer were known as: “The Peckerheads”.

If you felt that politics and celebrity culture have been pretty dark here these last few years, things are absolutely pitch black in Kazakhstan – but there might be a bit of light about to break.

A court case is currently taking place there regarding the death of a beautiful, well-known astrologer, Saltanat Nukenova at the hands of the country’s former Economics Minister, Kuandyk Bishimbayev. It’s the first time Kazakh court hearings have been streamed live online and the case has really captured public attention as almost the whole country is watching avidly.

Domestic violence and (so-called) “honour” killings are regualarly hushed up in Kazakh society – but social media campaigns and #ForSaltanat flash mobs are popping up everywhere in support of her. A law criminalising domestic violence is about to be passed off the back of it too.

It’s changing women’s rights for good as well as giving the public the chance to push back a bit against the country’s gilded elite – which Bishimbayev has been part of since birth.

Full info can be translated from here.

[Be warned: it’s pretty gruesome]

JD writes:
“One of my proudest achievements many years ago was to persuade some Disney goons to show me underneath the park in Florida, after they told me the bins were emptied from below.

“It’s like the underneath of a shopping mall. All trucks and deliveries and normal, unsmiling people, and underneath the entire park. Very workaday and impressively hidden.

“It was a press trip, so Walt’s people weren’t too happy that I mentioned it in the write up, but I could have done worse. Like mention how I sat down there with one of the several Donald Ducks with his head off, having a crafty smoke.”

If you haven’t read about Seagull Boy yet…
[Story of the month]

Kate from the B52s is selling her Airstream compound
[See on Stereogum]

An interesting house for sale in Dudley with a combination kitchen/jail cell
[View the listing]

James Ford – Arctic Monkeys/Pet Shop Boys/Kylie/Blur producer – has a pretty comprehensive “Paedo Pop” playlist on Spotify
[Listen]

David Beckham is still annoyed he never got the cash for promoting F45 so he’s suing Mark Wahlberg
[Read on Forbes]

You know your dog wants a summer festival of its own
[Woofstock]