Mud Diamonds

This is the 1100th issue of Popbitch. It’s not really the catchiest of milestones, but we thought we should mark it with a little something. So how about the launch of a new Popbitch podcast series: Allegedly…

Alongside Dan Schreiber from No Such Thing As A Fish and soon-to-be Strictly star Ellie Taylor, we spend six episodes poking about in some of the weirder corners of celebrity culture – from the Streisand Effect to superinjunctions; crisis management to canary-trapping; political tricks to paparazzi tactics – and wade our way through a ton of celeb autobiographies.

An ideal commute companion now that everyone’s getting funnelled back into the office so as not freeze to death over winter.

All six episodes are available for Audible members (and free trial users) here…

[…allegedly]

With the sort of precision that would make a Swiss watchmaker proud, Leo DiCaprio has just dumped another girlfriend practically the instant she turned 25. Leo’s distaste for having girlfriends who can buy their own hard seltzer without getting IDed is well-documented – but it’s not the only thing he’s known for in Hollywood.

In LA, all the venues for the major galas, parties and events have separate hidden entrances and exits so that A-list guests can arrive or leave undetected and avoid the crowds and paps. This procedure is known as ‘Doing A Leo’.

e.g. “Do you have the facilities at this venue for a Leo?”

Which notorious arsehole once gave a huge dressing down to his driver on the studio floor for being late to collect him, rounding off the tongue-lashing with the line: “You’re a driver and I’m a fucking national treasure”?

Kate Moss has just done an interview for British Vogue in which she revisits some of the most memorable looks of her career and – in doing so – has publicly confirmed one of Popbitch’s earliest stories.

From Popbitch #87:
“Kate Moss owns a necklace with a remarkable history. She was on a fashion shoot this year, during which she was wearing her own jewellery. ‘See this necklace?’ she asked people in the studio. ‘It’s been up Johnny Depp’s bum.'”

[Hear it in Kate’s own words]

A little bit of a scuffle broke out in the Curzon Soho on Bank Holiday Monday at a showing of Paris, Texas. Only about ten people turned up to the screening, but one guy on the back row was having a hell of a time with all the snacks he’d brought in. As soon as the film started, he was loudly munching, crunching and slurping – much to the annoyance of two gents sat down the front.

Whispered instructions from these disgruntled chaps for the slurper to be quiet soon escalated into shouting. That in turn saw the argument being taken outside into the foyer where the three of them had a proper slanging match at full volume while the film continued playing.

Staff intervened and the noisy eater was eventually ejected from the screening – which meant Owen and Luke Wilson were then able to return to their seats and watch the rest of the movie in peace.

Tory peer and famed knicker-flogger Baroness Mone is a fixture on the after-dinner circuit these days, doing speeches for corporate conferences and other such events where she passes on anecdotes and bits of wisdom and the like.

She wasn’t always so comfortable doing these sorts of events though. At the first one she was booked to speak at, she became so nervous that she vomited unexpectedly backstage. The vom ended up splashing over the shoes of one of her fellow guests. Mikhail Gorbachev.

Yungblud’s new single Tissues samples Close To You by the Cure. Yungblud said he emailed Robert Smith personally to ask for permission to use the song’s distinctive drumbeat, and got a response a few days later in all caps that read: “HELLO DOM, YOU CAN USE IT ALL GOOD HERE, LOVE ROBERT’.

This squares with everything we’ve ever heard about Robert Smith’s email etiquette. He only ever uses all caps, and only ever reads and replies to his emails on a Thursday.

Media WhatsApp groups have been ablaze this afternoon with details of the bloodbath currently taking place at GBNews. A shake-up was rumoured upon receipt of £60m of new investment the other week, but no-one was expecting them to cull quite so many as it sounds like they have done.

Most surprising of all is the loss of Alex Phillips. This time last year, she was the apple of CEO Angelos Frangopoulos’s eye. He reportedly doubled her salary in a snap, was telling her she was the star of the station and was even popping out of the office to run errands on her behalf. She was also heard telling people that she’d like to do the splits on his face. A perfect working relationship.

Now she’s just been shitcanned with so little notice that she told viewers at the end of yesterday’s show she’d be back tomorrow. (She wasn’t.)

Good job they’ve got all those new millions secured. Seems like the severance packages are going to have to be big.

anon writes:
“Your story about Les Ferdinand and Dani Behr reminds me of the time he was the subject of a kiss and tell sting by one of Britain’s leading daily papers, when such things were part of the industry.

“Les’s conquest, colluding with the paper, was getting it on with him in a hotel bedroom while reporters watched from the next door room having set up a CCTV system connected to the TV in Les’s room.

“All went well, including evidence corroborating what Dani was so impressed by, until Les wanted to watch some post-coital telly and turned on the TV. Flicking aimlessly through the channels, he suddenly seemed concerned. ‘There’s a bloke on the telly who looks just like me,’ he said, puzzled. ‘Hang on… It is me!’

“Cue carnage, and a story which never saw the light of day.”

The painting-over of Ian Curtis murals isn’t just a Manchester problem; the good people of Wellington, New Zealand have been dealing with the exact same issue for decades now.

There’s a wall on Wallace Street, Mt Cook, which saw the phrase “Ian Curtis Lives” painted on it back in 1981. Bores at the Wellington City Council had it painted over, but within a few days some Joy Division fan had reinstated it. Every time the council covered it up, another one would spring up within the week.

The council eventually gave up trying to fight the tide in 2013 and the wall is now considered a local landmark. So the good news for Manchester is you only have to endure another 30-odd years of this and you’ll be left with a lasting tribute to Ian.

Fascinating article on a million-dollar Instagram verification scam
[Read on ProPublica]

Weird little time-waster game
[Checkbox Race]

80s jams recreated on old synths
[Watch on YouTube]

The baffling world of MAGA rap
[Read on Gawker]

Jewellery made from jizz
[Read on VICE]

The Power Of The Ring x Kath & Kim
[Watch on Twitter]

Local News Of The Week: Big Bird Stag Do Edition
[Read on Dorset Echo]

An AI lyric video for Don’t Stop Me Now
[Watch on YouTube]

Long but interesting look at the origin of memes over the last decade or so
[Read on KnowYourMeme]

Still Bored?
The Winnie The Pooh horror film ‘Blood And Honey’ looks bananas
[Watch the trailer]