NastyChef

A Radiohead group on Facebook posted a picture of Thom Yorke sporting a man bun. In among the comments below was a fan telling Thom he “really needs to sort [his] hair out”.

Not the most vicious bit of online trolling we’ve ever heard. But it was still pretty cold of Thom’s bandmate Colin Greenwood to click ‘like’ on it.

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp aren’t likely to agree on much these days but they’ll both be toasting the misfortune befalling Aussie National Party politico Barnaby Joyce.

The National Party leader today called for Joyce (one of his own MPs) to take some time off as “he’s embarrassed himself and he’s embarrassed his family”. How? By getting himself filmed smashed out of his box, lying on a footpath with his feet in a plant pot, mumbling the phrase “dead fucking cunt” into his phone.

It was Joyce, as agriculture minister, who threatened to euthanize Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s dogs Pistol and Boo in 2015, after Heard brought them into Australia illegally. That incident was cited as part of the chain of events that brought their marriage to a violent end; one of Depp’s team claimed Heard asked him to lie under oath to get her out of the doggie debacle.

Heard ended up able to see the funny side of it all at least. For Christmas 2021 she posted photos of her new white shaggy dog. A pet she’d called “Barnaby Joyce”.

Which image-conscious DJ put his work experience kid to good use: getting them to apply scalp dye to his treacherously thin hairline?

If you enjoyed last week’s Gregg Wallace anecdote, here’s another of even headier vintage.

During the filming of an episode of MasterChef, the judges were presented with the contestants’ dishes to taste as usual, but John Torode found himself quite flummoxed by one plate.

“I can’t quite put my finger on what this dish reminds me of…” he said, ponderously.

“I can!” Gregg gleefully interjected. “It’s me aunt’s cunt!”

Even though the production team and contestants were well used to Gregg’s brand of humour, this particular bon mot managed to stun the entire room into silence. Again, it failed to make the edit.

Tributes to Steve Wright this week have been uniformly glowing, many making a point of the ease with which he conducted his big celebrity interviews. If you’re curious to know how Steve managed to strike up such effortless repartee with the stars, we know his secret.

According to one loose-lipped contributor to the show, his technique was simple. Steve would simply slag off his previous guest in front of the current one, while flattering them to the hilt.

A system that worked perfectly – as guests didn’t realise they too would be chucked under the bus shortly after leaving the studio.

A ballsy move from the Sun to run a “BBC KILLED STEVE WRIGHT” story on its front page today, laying the blame of Steve’s death at the feet of the Beeb for “breaking his heart”.

As we’d like to keep the mailout below the 100,000 word mark, we can’t give a detailed run-down of all the breakdowns, burnouts, legal blow-ups and medical traumas that those working for NewsCorp have suffered.

Suffice it to say, the Sun might not want to get into a pissing match with the Beeb over their effect on anyone’s health, happiness or life expectancy.

Especially not today. The anniversary of Caroline Flack’s death.

AS writes:
“The Chris Morris video you posted was triggering for me. I used to live in Herne Hill and apparently he lived in the area too because I would bump into him all over the place. In the post office, in Brockwell Park with his kids, in the cinema, at the traffic lights while we both cycled into and out of central London – and he was always in a grubby fluorescent waterproof jacket (it looks like he’s bought a new one).

“As far as recluses go, he seemed pretty unavoidable. We never spoke, although I’m the sort of age that means I could have recited entire episodes of Brass Eye at him.

“Anyway things reached a nadir when I was heading into the then-hot Polpo in Soho and he was coming out, and he rolled his eyes when he saw me.”

In 2003, in an effort to try to re-socialise a community coming out of the SARS trauma, the Hong Kong government set up something called Harbourfest: a series of concerts for the city (ft. Prince, Westlife, Craig David and the Rolling Stones) which turned into a huge scandal, full of public outrage and misspent taxpayer cash.

Much the same seems to be happening with lifting Covid restrictions too. Last week, there was the colossal balls-up bringing Inter Miami over for a friendly. The event (run by rich poshos Tatler; bankrolled with loads of government money) ended in disaster with David Beckham being booed off the pitch, and spectators being given 50% refunds because Messi didn’t end up playing a single second.

Now it’s an Anya Hindmarch art installation that’s drawing ire from locals. The red hearts put up across the city have been met with public fury after it too was funded by oodles of taxpayer money. This time, the cash came via the new Mega Arts & Culture Fund, which is chaired by an uber-rich local retail tycoon.

Completely coincidentally, it just so happens this same tycoon owns the high-end mall in which Ms Hindmarch has a shop. A shop that’s currently selling her latest line of handbags. Shaped like red hearts.

Murder On The Dancefloor’s global domination continues apace, with a brand new remix by Australians PNAU and a live performance from Sophie E-B on US late night too. Seeing as the world and its wife continue to be obsessed with the track, here’s a little memory from the video shoot.

tinasparkle writes:
“I was a dancer in Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Murder On The Dancefloor video and when she found out it was my 21st birthday, she got me a birthday cake. Coincidentally, it was also her dad’s birthday so she sang us both ‘Happy Birthday’. Nice bird.

“Also, the belt she wears in that video is made of gaffa tape.”

Carl Barât’s house is up for sale
[See on Zoopla]

American Football is entering its WAG era
[Read on The Ringer]

Alicia Keys’ SuperBowl performance got some sneaky airbrush treatment for YouTube
[Read on The Verge]

Beyoncé v Country Music Radio: B’s new direction is slow to be picked up
[Interesting insight on Billboard]

This Week We Learned: Kangaroos lick their own balls to keep cool in the heat
[Read on ABC]