Smuggle Bunnies

Just when we thought every last drop of fun had been wrung out of the Wagatha Christie case, Rebekah Vardy has gone and out-Vardied herself by officially trademarking the phrase “Wagatha Christie”.

There’s been a bit of confusion as to how and why Rebekah has been allowed to do this, given that the phrase a/ relates to her nemesis, Coleen Rooney; and b/ was first coined by a comedian, Dan Atkinson.

But more interesting to us is that trademark applications require “bona fide intention to use”. It’s against the rules to apply for a trademark just to sit on it and stop anyone else from using it. So what Wagatha tat can we expect to see hitting the shelves? Who knows, but the filing shows Rebekah now holds the Wagatha trademark in relation to alcoholic energy drinks (Class 33), household sanitisers (Class 5), tanning oils (Class 3) and electrically heated mugs (Class 11).

More concerning for Coleen, Rebekah also holds the trademark for Class 8 products (household shears; household knives; household scissors) and Class 7 products (electric mincers).

Today is 4/20 and its patron saint, Snoop Dogg, has been out in Hyde Park to mark the occasion. Hopefully the rest of us Brits can keep pace with him.

When he played a big show here some years back, Snoop requested plenty of weed backstage for his enjoyment. Despite making a decent dent in it throughout the day, there was some leftover at the end of the night which was given to a member of the crew to take away.

The guy took one sniff of it, then handed it back – refusing to touch it, saying it was “weapons grade”.

Could it really have been Rula Lenska that one of you got chatting to at a Trade Reunion night at Egg a few years backs; her smiling wide-eyed, clutching a bottle of water and telling you “I’m having a lovely time, but they’re not as good as they were back then”?

Turns out it’s not just staff who have been grumbling about Warner Bros Discovery’s company-wide move from their original London offices out to Chiswick Business Park. Stars are too.

Shortly after the big announcement was made, WBD hosted a fancy celebrity Q&A event at the new office for employees – where Edith Bowman interviewed man of the moment, Succession’s Brian Cox.

Brian’s opening line: “Why the fuck am I here? Way out in fucking Chiswick?”

A few years ago, Nick Knowles was pitching TV execs his big idea for a documentary that he wanted to front: ‘The History of Underwear… with Nick Knowles’.

As he saw it, the show would trace the history of undergarments from their earliest origins right up to the present day, where Nick would end up backstage at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

Sadly, it has yet to be commissioned.

Have you got a favourite TV pitch that never saw the light of day? hello@popbitch.com

During the filming of Emma, Brad Pitt came to Dorset to visit his then-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow. Crew were keen for his presence not to cause a distraction and hold up the shoot, so two attractive young local girls were assigned to take Brad out for the afternoon.

They took him for a tour of the grounds of the estate they were filming on, to a local pub for lunch, generally showing him a slice of English country life.

Gwyneth was not impressed that the crew had set her boyfriend up with two pretty young ladies however, so she had them both banned from set the next day while Brad was around. What she didn’t realise is that neither girl had any designs on Brad. The real threat on that front was a golden retriever called Wellington, who had been humping Brad’s leg relentlessly whenever he got the opportunity.

Even in a serious condition in hospital, Barry Humphries continues to crack jokes – telling people in his statement that he’s appreciated all the support and good wishes but that he would like more and more. It’s completely in character.

Barry took a tip from Noel Coward about how to conduct curtain calls. No matter how tired he was, how tough the show, how sparse the audience, a turn knows he always has to muster a smile for their final farewell. To ensure that it looked as sincere as possible, the trick was to clench his teeth and quietly repeat a phrase under his breath as he waved to the audience.

As he walked off stage, he would whisper to himself “Silly cunts, silly cunts, silly cunts.”

Obviously we hope he pulls through – but if there’s a better way to make an exit than that, we don’t know it.

Danniella Westbrook is busy making plans to marry her “jailbird fiancé” when he’s expected to be released from prison later this year.

She’s kept his full name tightly under wraps when talking to the press about him. It’s a smart move because learning his surname would likely make it too easy for journalists to find out if he really is in prison on “counterfeit goods” charges as Danniella is telling them – or if he was actually caught heading up a drugs ring that got busted running speed, coke and weed between Liverpool, Aberdeen and Cardiff.

Hopefully us mentioning that doesn’t make life any harder for her agent, who is currently trying to shop around the exclusive rights for their wedding photos – but we reckon he probably had his work cut out already.

We told you last week that music industry legend Seymour Stein once bought an entire mansion just to accommodate a massive staircase that he’d bought separately and couldn’t find space for in his existing home. He’s not the only mad millionaire to have been taken with such an urge.

Ralph Lauren used to be a regular guest at the Connaught in Mayfair and had long admired the grand staircase they had in their foyer. So much so that he decided he wanted to buy it from them – so made an offer.

The Connaught’s response wasn’t quite “fuck off”, but it wasn’t far off.

It looks like we might have approached something of a truce with the Guardian. Last Thursday, we mentioned that they were deleting any comments from readers who suggested asking the famous Badger v Baboon question of their celebrity interviewees. As of last Friday, they appear to have had a change of heart. One Popbitch reader who posed it in a recent call for questions not only had their comment survive the weekend, it is still going strong six days later.

But to prove there really are no hard feelings, The Guardian – you had better ask Christoph Waltz what his answer is.

Amy Winehouse’s book collection is up for sale
[230 books for ~€80,000]

…as is Kendall Roy’s apartment from Succession
[View the listing]

Beyoncé is a fashion icon; so why can’t she sell leggings?
[Read on Andscape]

Celebrate the coronation with these ceramic coronation sausages
[A beautiful keepsake]

How do you even get an ice rink to Coachella?
[Vulture explains]

Headline Of The Week: Woman Jailed After Trying To Kill Lookalike In New York With Poisoned Cheesecake
[Read on Sky]

Rare giant otter triplets have been born in Yorkshire
[Cute]

Solitaire, but for spelling
[Play it here]

A weird thread on the fake songs of Spotify
[Read on Twitter]

Dispatches from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Cruise
[Read on Harpers]

Still Bored?
An ‘lost’ Oasis album sung by AI
[Listen to AIsis]