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Sweaty, Darling…

 

It’s the summer of self-love and LELO will make sure that you have everything you need to enjoy it. From exquisitely crafted sex toys to the latest in intimate tech, go on and indulge a little. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. And giving. And giving.
[Get deals, discounts and free delivery at LELO]
“Hear me when I say this: Trump is, in my opinion, the first woman President of the United States” – Roseanne Barr
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* A little salt for Markle v Mail
* Foul mouthed celebrity passengers
* PLUS: Memories of Tara P-T…
>> Standing down <<
The relatively quiet life
 

It was a shame that coronavirus robbed us of Diana Ross’s Legends slot at Glastonbury last weekend, but it was an even bigger shame that it robbed us of the chance to learn what she would have been like backstage.

Miss Ross’s diva credentials are well-established, but it’s always difficult to know how much of that is just showbiz mythology. Still, we’re inclined to think there’s something to the stories after we learned that one of her entourage once left her employment to take up a slightly more relaxing gig elsewhere.

With a police armed response team.

The Emerald Bar and Grill in Austin, Texas has come up with an ingenious way to ensure people stay safely at home this weekend. They’re throwing an Independence Day concert headlined by Vanilla Ice and Color Me Badd.
>> Mel-ted beams <<
Hollywood’s tin foil hatters
 

The hot water that Mel Gibson seems to have made his primary residence was ratcheted up a few degrees last week after Winona Ryder recalled some of the homophobic and anti-semitic remarks he’d made to her in the past.

Mel’s history with that sort of thing is pretty well-documented, but less well-known? That he dabbles in a bit of 9/11 trutherism as well.

Nominative Determinism of the Week: the Professor of Medicine at the University of Virginia who has been comparing different Covid treatments… Dr William Petri!
>> Big Questions <<
Who’s asking what this week?
 

For all their on-screen tough-guy bravado, Hollywood action heroes can be awfully delicate wee flowers – but which one is so desperate to add a few sly centimetres to his height that he not only puts lifts in his shoes, he has special built-up socks too?

“Stress would make me snack and eat rubbish but that’s stopped thanks to Slimpod” – a happy Popbitch reader. The Slimpod programme helps you lose weight without dieting or willpower. NHS nurses, doctors and thousands of others are instinctively wanting to eat less and eat healthier.
[Try Slimpod FREE for 10 days]
>> The Daily Tonic <<
Popbitch lockdown chronicles
 

As we enter our fifth calendar month of coronavirus lockdown, we are continuing to send out daily shots of smut and silliness to do our part in keeping the nation’s collective pecker up.

If you haven’t signed up for the daily edition, then you’ll have missed out on stories this week about David Icke’s chat-up technique, Christopher Walken’s chilling soup orders and the nicest smelling celebrities in showbiz.

We’re keeping an online archive of back issues here though – and you can sign up while you’re at it.

[Catch up/sign up here]

Michael Sheen’s dad was a professional Jack Nicholson lookalike.
>> Undress to impress <<
Wanks for the memories!
 

In yesterday’s daily, we asked readers for their tales of nakedness with the stars…

anon writes:
“When I was a cub reporter in Blackpool, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson came to open a new hotel, The Big Blue. I was to do a little interview and was sat in a room inside. Just before TP-T was due to cut the ribbon, she burst in to the room, whipped her tube dress up over her head, completely naked beneath, before putting an almost identical one on instead and turning to me and saying ‘Sweaty, darling… There’s one for the wank bank!’ leaving a flustered 20 year old unable to operate his mini disc.”

Glenn Medeiros has a doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Southern California.
>> Turning the air <<
Putting the blue in Blue Peter
 

Earlier in the week we asked readers if they’d ever shared a lift with a celebrity. We mainly meant “lifts” as in “elevators” – but we’re glad we left it open-ended as it led to this story…

pauline writes:
“Back in the 90s I was an intern at Lynne Franks PR. One of my jobs was to drive Anthea Turner from London to Birmingham where she had been paid to host an organ festival at the NEC (exactly as weird as it sounds).

“She was really friendly and the journey was a breeze but I was shocked by her constant swearing which was truly off the charts. It was incredibly jarring to hear a Blue Peter presenter ‘fuck’ and ‘cunt’ her way through an entire two hour drive.

“She slept the whole way back.”

According to a reader who duetted with him in a suite at the Cleveland Radisson, one of Marilyn Manson’s chosen karaoke picks is Ini Kamoze’s “Here Comes The Hotstepper”.
>> Quarantunes <<
The big one hundred
 

We’ve also been setting our daily readers a series of audio quizzes each day. Today is the 100th one since lockdown started – which means that by the end of this 2’30 round, players will have identified 1,000 snippets of songs across four hours of quizzes.

If you want to catch up on the 99 previous ones ahead of hitting the pubs on Saturday, you can find them all here.

And if you want to play the 100th one, today’s theme is Million Sellers.

[Play Audio Round #100 here]

Arena Flowers, the UK’s most ethical florist, has launched subscription flowers. Monthly, fortnightly or weekly, receive a frankly enormous box of seasonal blooms right to your door. The freshest, best quality flowers available in the UK – only £15 plus delivery. Readers get a whopping 50% off their first box with promo code SUBSCRIPTION.
[Get 50% off your first box here]
>> Hardeep state <<
How things stay so silent
 

This week, the Scottish Times reported on the “inappropriate sexual behaviour” of Hardeep Singh Kohli. Popbitch readers have known for years just how widespread stories of his misconduct have been in the media industry. We even wrote one of our sporadic long pieces on him specifically and how he still managed to keep getting work despite it all.

We weren’t the only ones trying to push this story though. We know of at least three publications (including one major broadsheet) that had journalists trying to break stories on Hardeep’s behaviour for years. Yet all of them found their efforts spiked. The reason? Because invariably someone along their chain of command said Hardeep was a little too “Z-list” for them.

Good job no-one’s too Z-list for Popbitch then…

If you’re curious how something can be so well-known within the industry, yet nothing come of it, our 2018 story ‘After The Storm’ might shed a little light. [Read it here]
>> Unhappy returns <<
The subtle shade of lawyers
 

New filings in the Markle v Mail trial see Meghan’s legal team claiming her and Harry’s wedding brought in around £1bn in tourist revenue; a sum that would more than offset the £32m in taxpayers’ money spent on it.

As taxpayer money is often the reason given to justify aggressive reporting, it’s no surprise to see the topic coming up – but if the Sussexes think the Mail is going to respond well to talk of healthy returns on investment, it’s probably only going to get their backs up further.

Before the wedding, the Mail on Sunday spared no expense in publishing a big exposé of those infamously staged photos of Thomas Markle. Though the story has since mushroomed into an absolutely massive drama, that particular front cover bombed at the newsstands.

An insider tells us it performed so poorly for the MoS that even a cover story about a deeply unsexy visa scandal involving Sajid Javid the previous week had sold better. So these new boasts of just how profitable the couple are capable of being are going to salt those wounds up a treat.

A lot going on for former MoS/current Daily Mail editor Geordie Grieg today. His old Oxford buddy Ghislaine Maxwell has just been arrested by the FBI in New Hampshire for her suspected part in Jeffrey Epstein’s crimes.
>> Commons as muck <<
Pricey: panning for gold
 

Katie Price is giving evidence to a House of Commons committee about online trolling today. It’s taking place over video-link because of Covid, but on a previous trip to give evidence, Pricey was given a special tour of the Palace of Westminster.

As part of it, the guide managed to sneak Katie, her mum and a couple of her kids into the Robing Room: the room that’s reserved for the Queen to put on her ceremonial robes whenever she’s in attendance – as well as pointing out the special bathroom that Her Majesty uses, should she need.

Katie’s mum and kids were very respectful and reverent throughout. Katie was less so though, shouting “COME ON THEN, LET’S SEE IF THERE ARE ANY SKIDMARKS!”

There’s a huge £115m Euro Millions Super Jackpot this Friday and you can boost your chances of winning with a Wshful Syndicate. Popbitch readers get a 50% discount on 120 lines for this month’s draws, from just £8.
[Don’t miss your chance with Wshful]
>> Hmmms <<
Bins, bootlegs, balloons
 

Steve Martin is auctioning off a bunch of his things
[Browse the catalogue]

Balloon dicks in the sky
[See on Twitter]

Local News of The Week: Geordie Shore Bin Day Edition
[Read on Yorkshire Evening Post]

Have Liverpool been the best team this season? Or is it Man City?
[Read on Goal.com]

The secret economics of VIP parties
[Read on 1843]

An oral history of The Onion’s 9/11 issue
[Read on MEL]

Headline Of The Week: “Moldova Shuts Down Bootleg Helicopter Factory”
[Read on Balkan Insight]

Thanks to: ulysses, albert_o’balsam, CF, SG, RS, SB, JB, RM, M, anon, SG, pauline, FB, bobbi_fleckmann, RF, CM
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I know a girl who wipes her fanny with bleach.
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