The Daily Tonic: Half For A Laugh

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* George Best’s best man tips!
* Going halves with Sister Bliss!
* PLUS: Inexplicable celebrity beef

>> Smoke and mirrors <<

Keep a beady eye on him

Further tales of celebrity kleptomania reach us here at PBHQ. One former music journo recalls the time she nipped outside from a big star-studded launch event to have a quick ciggie when, just as she was plucking them out of her bag, Liam Gallagher sidled up next to her asking if he could cadge one.
She kindly offered him the packet, which he took, slipping out a single cigarette. He then handed that single cigarette back to her – before walking off with the entire (almost-full) pack, giving her a cheeky wink as he went.

Some piping hot competition for most banal celebrity artefact pinched. One of you nicked Tom Chaplin from Keane’s empty Ribena carton (complete with straw) and got £6 for it on eBay.

>> Trivial matters <<

Question of the day

Thanks to everyone who sent over their best bits of celebrity advice. Some of the more peculiar pieces we’ve collected below, so that everyone can benefit from their knowledge and experience.
Today’s Question: What’s the best bit of celebrity trivia you know?
Send us your surprising pop culture titbits to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll swap some Popbitch prizes for our favourites.

Big respect to MedFetUK: the medical fetish store which has donated all of its medical-grade items to the NHS to help out in this time of need. Popbitch salutes you.

>> Wisdom of the stars <<

#1: A curious celebrity beef

DJ writes:
“About 15 years ago, my girlfriend was an ambitious young person trying to make her way in the competitive world of TV. She ended up on a night out with the star of the show she was working on, Michelle Collins. The two of them were the last ones standing at the end of the night and Michelle gave her a piece of context-free advice as she left in a taxi:
“‘Never trust Graham Norton'”
Anyone know the cause of this beef? hello@popbitch.com

JC writes: “Wasn’t given to me personally but my friend Nick adopted a sensible approach to ecstasy-taking as Sister Bliss once told him to only take ‘half for a laugh'”

>> Speechy keen <<

#2: Take it from the Best

AC writes:
“Last year Gwendoline Christie was standing next to me at some traffic lights in Soho waiting to cross. I introduced myself and we had a little chat. At some point I blurted out “You’re so beautiful!” She said “But we’re all beautiful…” Then the lights changed and she was off.”
Baggy writes: 
“I was in a band called Apocalypse who supported The Jam on their last tour and stayed friendly with Paul Weller afterwards. In 1984, when I told him I was going to get married and have kids, he told me I was mad, would never be doing that and advised me against it. 2020: Paul has 8 kids and on his 2nd marriage.”
KR writes:
“We grew up about 20 minutes away from where George Best used to live in Surrey. On the day of my brother’s best friend’s wedding, my brother popped to the local garden centre to get a few props for his speech, and who should he see pulling out of the car park but Mr Best himself. My brother leapt into action, shouting ‘George, I’m a best man today and have to give a speech in two hours. Any tips?’
“George looked him up and down and said: ‘Two hours? Tell him to run for it'”

This wasn’t George’s only advice. The famed alcoholic also chipped in with thoughts when he saw a different reader’s girlfriend buying cigarettes at a hotel bar, giving her a quick lecture on how bad smoking is for her health…

>> Commoner salt <<

#3: A life-changing tip

LC writes:
“I was in Edinburgh in 2012 for the festival and me and my mates were in a chipper. As I like a lot of vinegar, I asked if I could put the seasonings on myself. The bored attendant duly obliged and I put the salt on, followed by the vinegar.
“Someone behind me said to me ‘You ought to put the vinegar on first and then the salt. That way the salt won’t all run off the chips.’
“In fairness, he was right. Thank you Ricky Gervais for changing my life.”

Also a vocal advocate for the vinegar-first, salt-second technique? John Major.

>> Quarantunes <<

A weekend audio round

Another day, another ten tracks inexpertly cut-and-shut together to bring a few precious moments of distraction. Can you name all ten, and guess the artists correctly as well? That’s twenty points in total – see what you can do.
[Give it a whirl]

THE POPBITCH PUZZLEBOOK: Suboku! Dananagrams! Kardashians or Kindle Erotica! All your favourite Popbitch Popquiz puzzles collected in one place, ready for download and complete in quarantine. Get it now and support Popbitch!
[£5 – an absolute steal]

>> Hmmms <<

A few Saturday treats

Oh, nothing much. Just Diana Vickers singing about wanking…
[Listen on Twitter]
Coronavirus afro-pop is a blossoming new genre

[Hear the best opening line of 2020]
There’s a quarantine Eurovision watch-along happening tonight on Twitter, if you want to relive an ESC glory year with internet strangers?

[Follow along from 8pm]

THANKS TO: JT, AM, theabominablehoman, ML, RH, monstris, DJ, JC, AC, Baggy, KR, GO, LC

Old Jokes Home

Strange times. I put the bins out the other night and the whole street gave me a round of applause.

Fancy Another?