The Daily Tonic: Mum’s The Word

As it’s Mother’s Day today, here are some stories about celebs who enjoy a close relationship with their mums.

* Lenny Kravitz’s penis is pierced with a gold hoop, inset with a diamond that was taken from a pair of his mum’s old earrings

* “If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.” – Shia LaBeouf

* In-between legs of their 2015/16 world tour, Matt Bellamy from Muse was spotted outside Newton Abbot train station in Devon waiting to be picked up by his mum.

* “There’s no way to be closer to my mother except to live inside her, and I’ve done that already.” – Steven Spielberg

* Jamiroquai’s mum helped him write the lyrics for When You Gonna Learn.

* Paul Danan once had a date with Melanie Sykes, but his car broke down so he had to get his mum to give him and Mel a lift to the restaurant.

EC writes:
“Back in 2004 I was working on a kids show called Tiny and Mr Duk for the BBC. We had the Cheeky Girls and their mother on for an episode. I went for a quick wee and in the cubicles I could see (and smell) plumes of cigarette smoke coming from one.

“When I came out both the twins were spraying themselves with tons of perfume and asking me not to tell their mum.”

One of our favourite strands of celebrity gossip is the stuff that comes second hand from our readers’ mums.

Mr_E_Mann writes:
“My mother is a regular at a hair salon in the Northumberland village of Cramlington. She was very surprised when the nephew of the owner popped in to say hello and was promptly told, ‘You’ll have to make your own cup of tea Robson, I am too busy.’ It was Robson Green.”

MS X writes:
“Years ago my mum used to work in the china and glass department in House of Fraser, Hull. Pauline Prescott (John’s wife) came in asking if they had any chipped, cracked or otherwise deficient vases they could sell her on the cheap, as she wanted to line the staircase in their house with flowers. (They didn’t.)”

H-Dawg writes:
“My main claim to fame is that I went to junior school with Daniel Radcliffe. Friends and strangers alike have been regaled with stories about the time he once forgot when his birthday was at lunch and started crying, or the day he pretended his hair was a wig.

“Fast forward a decade, and my mother bumps into Mrs Radcliffe when out walking the dog. Apparently the Radcliffes have two very nice dogs, one of which is ‘a raving homosexual’ and tries to mount every male dog that walks past.”

rt_hon_sidney_spatchcock writes:
“My friend’s parents had a cottage in the grounds of their house with fishing rights on to the Avon river which they sold at auction. A few days later, a Range Rover turns up and out jumps Vinnie Jones and friend, with a large case of wine.

“After a day’s fishing they offer to share what is left of their alcohol with my friend’s parents. They all end up completely smashed, and Vinnie and friend end up staying over. The next morning, Vinnie – who has no recollection of the previous night – is woken with a friendly cup of tea by the mother, who is still in her nightie.

“‘Oh no,’ groans Vinnie. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way luv, but I got a wife, so there can’t ever be anything between us, and she can’t ever find out.”

Looks as if the Goodman/Wendt confusion from yesterday wasn’t a one-off. In the 90s there was a programme called Good Stuff in which Rowland Rivron rode around in a stretch limo, picking up celebrities to interview.

Filming in New York during a torrential downpour, which was keeping most people off the street and at home, a researcher in the car finally spotted a star they could interview. The car was stopped and the crew raced into the Korean corner store to grab John Goodman. Sadly, they returned to the limo empty handed, explaining to their producer that, though he had been charming, he was drenched and in a hurry – but had promised he’d do an interview any other time.

That same producer was propping up the bar in the Groucho some time later, when who should pitch up behind him but John Goodman. Spinning round, the producer began to apologise for disturbing Goodman that rainy day in New York and said he hoped to take him up on the interview offer soon.

“But I haven’t been in New York for ages,” Goodman said, baffled. “Are you sure it wasn’t Norm from Cheers?”

It had been.

Nothing too taxing for a gentle Sunday afternoon, but here’s today’s audio round. Ten songs all gently mixed together, all plucked from Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs CD compilation sets.

A point for the artist, a point for the song title – twenty points in total.

[Play it here]

New York City’s guide to sex in the time of Covid-19
[“I got new rules, I count ’em”]

The 800 Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers
[Enjoy the archive]

Slayer x The B-52s
[A curious mash-up]

A labrador jumping into piles of leaves
[Again and again and again]