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The Daily Tonic: The Icky Dictaphone

 

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* Baby talk with Dave Benson Phillips!
* Tom Baker’s telephone shoes!
* PLUS: The greatest celebrity singalong
>> Hot celebrity action <<
Question of the day
 

You’ve all been sending in such excellent answers to the questions of the day. We’re trying to respond to everyone in turn (and will keep working our way through the backlog) but here are a couple of our favourite examples of the strangest celebrity behaviour you’ve seen below.

Today’s question: Have you ever shagged a celeb? If not, what’s the closest you’ve come?

Send your stories of celebrity seduction to hello@popbitch.com and we’ll toss some digital PB goodies to the winners.

Belarusian president Alexander Lukashenko’s advice for fighting Covid-19? “Drink vodka, go to the sauna and work hard.”
>> Icky Dictaphone <<
#1: Get your tape back
 

N writes:
“While working at Nickelodeon in the late 90s/early 00s, I did a shoot with Dave Benson Philips at a wildlife safari park. After filming he pulled out a dictaphone and asked me to speak like a ‘little girl’.

“I was a bit naive and so did as asked into the dictaphone while he recorded it. He said my impression ‘wasn’t bad’ and put the dictaphone back in his pocket. I still cringe whenever I see him on telly.”

zednice writes: “Roland Gift from the Fine Young Cannibals, pissing on his feet after putting out a zoot with his stream.”
>> Crafty tool <<
#2: On-stage knob-twiddling
 

LHTP writes:
“Download Festival, 2006. Pompous US alt-metallers Tool were headlining the main stage. Singer Maynard James Keenan steps back during one of many, many extended instrumental sections, wanders behind a very tall bass cab, rummages in his jeans and starts wanking exuberantly – not realising everybody standing next to the monitor desk has a perfect view.

“The monitor engineer didn’t bat an eyelid, so perhaps not a one-off.”

RC writes: “Tom Baker, walking down Old Compton Street talking into his shoe like it was a phone. One of the two that should have been on his feet.”
>> Imagine this <<
The greatest celebrity singalong
 

In response to Gal Gadot’s godawful Imagine video, people have been sharing a much superior star-studded singalong: a six-minute version of Let It Be from Norwegian TV show, Gylne Tider.

If you’ve never seen it before, it is a genuinely mind-boggling array of celebs they managed to rope together and there’ll be at least three times where you yell “WHAT THE FUCK?” at the screen.

But mainly we’re including it here because it leads into a story that we otherwise would have had no good segue into…

[Treat yourself – watch it]

Celebrity impressions: We’re told Brian Blessed does a very convincing impersonation of Ken Livingstone.
>> Plane stupid <<
The Goodman confusion
 

JT writes:
“I was once on a flight from LA to Toronto at the start of the Toronto Film Festival, spotting stars left and right. As I walked down the aisle to take my seat, I passed John Goodman.

“As it happened, I had left London at very short notice just as one of my best mates from Sydney had arrived, having spunked a fair chunk of his savings to visit for his 40th birthday. The weird thing is that this mate bears an uncanny resemblance to John Goodman and hates being told of it.

“After about an hour into the flight it dawned on me that I could make it up to my buddy, so crawled respectfully towards the big man with a pen and a sick bag on which to write. I apologised profusely to him for the intrusion and explained my dilemma, when he snatched the pen and sick bag from me, scribbled hastily and, without even a sideways glance, simply grunted and shoved both back into my hands.

“I sat back down and read what I had asked him to write, which was: ‘Dear Alan. I am so sick of people saying that I look like you! Happy birthday. Cheers.’ And then where he had signed it ‘George Wendt’.”

“It was Norm from Cheers.”

Nominative Determinism of the Day: Minister for Health in New South Wales, Australia who suffered a coughing fit during a coronavirus press conference… Brad Hazzard!
>> Another round <<
Parlez-vous pop?
We are currently looking into ways to put on a proper digital version of the Popbitch Popquiz to make up for the bricks-and-mortar ones that are going to be cancelled as a result of the recent pub closures.In the meantime, here’s today’s audio round. It has a theme, but that’s all we’re going to tell you.

[Play it here]

Have you downloaded your Popbitch Puzzlebook yet? It’s stuffed full of questions, quizzes and other activities, all designed to be completed safely in quarantine. It’s yours for a fiver and contains 25 rounds of PBPQ silliness.
[Order your copy here]
>> Hmmms <<
Some Saturday timewasters
 

RIP Kenny Rogers – here’s his episode of The Muppet Show
[Watch on Dailymotion]

Animals posing for album covers
[See on Bored Panda]

Nick Cave spotting: real estate edition
[Check out the bathroom]

THANKS TO: SN, SA, JG, NW, zednice, RT, RC, RDS, JM, bobbi_fleckmann
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Panic buyers in Paris have left the supermarkets looking like bomb sites.De brie is everywhere.

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