The Second Serve // Blow-By-Blow

We’ve written plenty before about how journalists like to tease out little in-jokes in their copy, referencing well-known media rumours for insiders to chuckle at, knowing they’ll go over the head of the common reader.

We have no idea if the Chief Political Commentator of the Sunday Times (or the ST subs) heard the same rumour we did – or if they’re all just Popbitch subscribers – but we thought the choice of headline on Tim Shipman’s big feature on Boris’s downfall this weekend was notable in light of our story on Thursday.

Despite having their choice of metaphors to describe the great Johnson implosion, the one they went with?

“Boris The Cat With Nine Lives Has Finally Been Neutered”.

Here’s a little something for the history books. The first recorded public statement from Prince George (future king of this country; third in line to the throne) was given this weekend – and then almost immediately hushed up.

During a pool interview on Sunday, someone asked Prince George on camera who he wanted to win the tennis. Little George replied “Djokovic”.

Buckingham Palace then asked reporters not to use it.

Back in the height of his caning days, which hard-partying author once got so fucked up at a club in Ibiza that he passed out face-down on the floor?

Friends thought the best way to revive him would be with a Stevie Nicks-style dose of gak, blown up his arse. It worked a treat. Within a minute, he had jumped up on his feet and had started running around the club – with his trousers still round his ankles and his pants around his knees.

News that Bernie Ecclestone is to be charged with fraud reminded us of a little story we heard a few years ago.

Back when he was chief exec of Formula One, a message went out to office staff one day warning them that the boss was in a foul mood, so to be especially nice and pandering if you saw him.

The official reason for Bernie’s grumpiness was that he had lost his bag – but that wasn’t the full story. Apparently what had made this particular bag so special was that it contained £80,000. And making him even grumpier? Unless he fancied being asked some pretty tricky questions about the money’s provenance, it wasn’t really something he could (or should) take to the police.

JS writes:
“How ironic that Ade Edmondson once walked out of a pub when he saw Nick Cave as he didn’t want to see him do anything that would ruin his love for him. I wish I’d done the same with Ade himself about 15 years ago.

“I was playing some records before Ade’s band were due to perform at a gig in Manchester and was really nervous as he had been a comedy hero of mine since I was a kid. He completely ignored me when he entered the venue and I tried to say hello, which was a bad start. About fifteen minutes later his manager bounded over to me screaming ‘TURN IT OFF!’ before theatrically unplugging my decks. I was playing XTC’s Making Plans for Nigel, but it turned out that song formed part of Ade’s set and apparently he was absolutely raging backstage.

“I offered to play a different record, but the manager said Ade wanted me to leave. So, in front of everyone gathered in the venue, I had to pack up my things and was marched out of the door. I wasn’t even allowed to stay and watch the gig.”

As you can probably imagine, it’s been open season on Tory leadership hopefuls in the Popbitch inbox over the weekend. However, the maddest story we got in is about someone who (as yet) shows no signs of throwing his hat into the ring. So we’ll give you the story here…

anon writes:
“Tobias Ellwood once tried to pull me over in Westminster in his private car, falsely claiming that I’d run a red light and that my car was in no condition to be on the road. I was absolutely non-plussed and asked him if he was feeling alright, to which he said:

“‘You might have got away with it thus far, but I’m an MP and you’re on my patch!’

“He then dangerously tried to speed ahead of my car three times to take a picture of the numberplate, before giving up as I drove off. The whole time his wife had her head in her hands and looked like she wanted to die. He’s an absolute lunatic!”

Last week, we started up on the 2010s – giving you an audio quiz on 2010, ’11, ’12, ’13 and ’14. This week, we’ll finish up the decade.

Each day we’ll take a hammer to ten songs and thump out a 2’30 mix. You just have to guess each song’s title (for one point) and the performing artist (for another). Ten songs; twenty points.

Monday’s theme: 2015

[Play it here]

Metal cover of Chic’s Le Freak
[Listen on YouTube]

Kylie shares some photos from the Neighbours shoot
[Looking hopeful…]

Making cocktails with spunk
[Read on MEL]

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