Popbitch Popquiz // Latest Edition
Eight brand new rounds are ready to be played, ft. a Secret Document Dump wordsearch, Goosebumps or Glastonbury?, Four Play, FaceTuned celebrities, a daddy issues mix’n’match, and much, much more. All part of your membership.
[Download it for free here] |
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“I’ve had to cut right down on my cheese life” – Alex James |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* The tabloid grim reaper
* Dench’s dirty cushions
* PLUS: Jesy’s u-turn |
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| >> The sniff test << |
| Glastonbury sober |
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Guests who’d been at Elton John’s Glastonbury afterparty were surprised to see Cara Delevingne taking to Instagram the next day to tell the world she’d just enjoyed her very first sober Glastonbury. They’d had no idea.
Presumably all that obsessive nose wiping was down to hayfever. And her constant trips to the lav? Must have been those soft drinks going straight through her… |
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| RIP Alan Arkin. Such a ladies man in his early years that Joan Rivers knew him in their days at Second City as “The Swordsman Of Chicago”. |
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| >> Doctored Jones << |
| Fake it til you make it |
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We never thought we’d live to see another Liz Jones column go viral – foolishly thinking her brand of oblivious oversharing had had its day. But today has seen her outdo herself, trying to reconnect with her ex-husband for a breezy Sex And The City tie-in column and instead opening up a number of vicious old wounds for all to gaze at.
Liz’s reverse Midas touch is legendary in journalism. Our favourite story comes from the time she was a style editor at the Evening Standard. There, she decided to fabricate a quote to add some extra spice to an interview a writer had conducted with Ashton Kutcher.
Ashton didn’t take kindly to the bonus line Liz took it upon herself to add (“She was the hottest actress in Hollywood when I was growing up. I was in love with her when I was 10. Now I’m fucking her!”) so he hired fearsome Hollywood lawyer Marty Singer to straighten things out.
The bylined interviewer – Jane Bussmann – worked on the Brass Eye paedogeddon special and South Park’s Prophet Muhammad episodes, so is no stranger to catching heat. But the incident with Liz Jones got so bad that she chose to give up celebrity journalism altogether and moved to Uganda and try to chase down a cannibal warlord instead. For a quieter life. |
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| Funny that Liz Jones’ ex-husband brought up the incident of Liz stealing the spunk out of one of his condoms to try to get herself pregnant. Reminds us the nickname that incident earned her among her colleagues: Jiz Loans. |
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| >> No more Talk << |
| The end of a profitable friendship |
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Seconds after hitting send on Thursday’s issue, we heard a whisper that the Executive Creative Director of TalkTV, Erron Gordon, was leaving the channel. Erron has since confirmed that – but there’s still quite a bit of confusion internally as to what happened. Some insiders are telling us it was a resignation, others are saying he’s been pushed.
The juiciest of the competing theories is that it’s come about from a falling out with his long-term bestie and collaborator Piers Morgan and that Erron was handed his hat at Piers’ say-so. The tell-tale unfollowing on Twitter lends a bit of credence to it – but we’ll know a bit more when Erron announces his next move.
There was a lot of suspicion at the recent TRIC awards that Erron was maybe eyeing a move to a rival as he spotted doing an awful lot of networking with the GB News crowd, rather than his own TalkTV set. |
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| Things aren’t looking too rosy for Tom Newton Dunn’s future at TalkTV either. He’s still off air and informal try-outs for his slot are being held over the next three weeks. |
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| >> Mixed up << |
| What a difference a day makes |
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It’s been almost two years since Jesy Nelson absolutely borked her launch as a solo artist. It can be hard to keep press interest up over such a prolonged time but, luckily for Jesy, the throw-any-old-shit-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks approach appears to be paying real dividends with reporters on the weekend shift.
SATURDAY 1ST JULY, Mail Online: “Jesy Nelson announces she is taking an extended break from showbusiness and reveals huge future plans”
SUNDAY 2ND JULY, Mail Online: “Jesy Nelson ‘rushes to rework her debut album after huge u-turn in her solo career'” |
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| Spotted at the Iggy Pop concert at Crystal Palace on Saturday, wearing an Afghan gilet and cowboy boots, queuing for masala chips… Anthea Turner. |
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| >> Secret source << |
| Every word worth printing |
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We’re always suckers for a good Alan Yentob story – like last Thursday – and we aren’t the only ones. They’ve been a staple in Private Eye for decades now.
There was one particular senior BBC Music and Arts producer who was a regular source of Yentob gossip for the Eye in the mid-80s. This same source once found themselves alone in a taxi with Yentob when Yentob said something along the lines of “Every single thing I say these days seems to get straight into Private Eye.”
Which, perhaps short-sightedly on the part of the mole, got straight into the next issue of Private Eye too… |
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| Nominative Determinism Of The Week: The judges hearing the appeal of a woman who stabbed her husband to death were Mr Justice Butcher and Mrs Justice Cutts. |
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| >> Barak once again << |
| For whom the bellend tolls |
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Hot off the heels of her sketchy “BRITNEY ON METH!” scoop, Daphne Barak has gone and landed herself a front page splash. Using her unparalleled connections in the upper class nonce network, Daphne was the hack who landed the interview with Prince Andrew’s ex-wife Sarah Ferguson about her recent breast cancer diagnosis.
Fergie should have thought twice about giving her this story though. Not because she shouldn’t speak up about her condition, but because Daphne Barak could give the Grim Reaper a run for his money.
The previous souls Barak has built her reputation on interviewing include Amy Winehouse, Aaron Carter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein. |
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| Geographic Determinism Of The Week: When Liz Jones moved to Yorkshire she lived near the village of Crackpot. |
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| >> Legendary behaviour << |
| Ain’t nothin’ like a dame |
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Hopefully by now the VIPbitches among you should have received your physical copies of Legends Only: the urban legends zine. There was one story we couldn’t quite find space for though, so we’re adding it here.
The story goes that Dame Judi Dench was walking across Shaftesbury Avenue one day when she causally stepped out into the road, and into the path of a taxi. The driver slammed on his brakes to stop from knocking her down, then rolled down his window to yell “Why don’t you look where you’re going, you stupid cunt?” as he passed by.
To which she shot back, “THAT’S DAME CUNT TO YOU!” |
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| Dame Judi likes to do sweary cross-stitch and embroidery. Matthew MacFadyen once saw her making a needlework piece that said “You Are A Cunt”. Keira Knightley says she saw her doing a cushion that said “Fuck!” |
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| >> Popbits << |
| This week’s audio quizzes |
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Last week saw quizzes on Emergency Services, Spice Girls Gone Solo and The Best Of The Best Ofs.
This week we’ve got another five new quizzes winging their way to you. All you have to do is figure out which ten songs have been squished together and pick out the ten artists from the musical mulch. Ten songs per quiz; twenty points in total.
Monday’s Theme: Now That’s What I Call Summer
[Play it here] |
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| There’s 400+ other audio quizzes just waiting for you to try in the Popquiz Daily Audio Archive. [Play them here] |
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| Thanks to: the_earl_of_essex, HD, CF, NB, DB, AM99, MP |
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Old Jokes Home
Elton John: “Hey Rod, I’ve just bought a classic Rolls Royce”
Rod Stewart: “What reg?”
Elton John: “I SAID I’VE JUST BOUGHT A CLASSIC ROLLS ROYCE.”
New To Club Popbitch?
Get previous Second Serve issues [here]
The Popbitch Popquiz archive is [here]
The Daily Audio Quiz archive is [here] |
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