The Second Serve // The Next DMX

Popbitch was the first to bring you stories that the Beckham/Peltz wedding hadn’t quite been the unbridled success that was breathlessly reported in the papers – telling you as early as last April that the whole thing had been rife with last-minute planner firings, financial confusion and other animosity.

Now it’s all coming to light as the families and planners start suing each other, with lawsuits and countersuits flowing into the Miami courts.

Recent filings also reveal something we said the week of the wedding – that the reported cost of the whole shindig (£3million) was total horseshit. Interestingly though, court documents suggest the reported figure wasn’t lowballed because the two nepo babies were afraid to spark a backlash in a cost of living crisis.

It was because the bride’s mother was trying to hide the escalating cost from her billionaire husband.

Julien MacDonald was name-dropping like his life depended on it in the Sunday Times Style supplement this weekend – revealing that Beyoncé calls him Tina Sparkle, Shirley Bassey calls him Golden Girl, Kylie calls him Mr Sparkle, etc…

Such revelations are a feather in the cap of the journalist who profiled him too, because he doesn’t always play ball so easily with reporters. On a shoot for Elle once, Julien spent the day getting so pissed and raucous with his cronies that when a reporter came to interview him for the accompanying feature he laughed in her face and told her “You’re too ugly to interview me, love!” and flounced off.

(He subsequently had to write a grovelling apology to the editor.)

S writes:
“I went to Barcelona to film with S Club 7 back in early 2000s for kids TV. They were living together in an apartment while they filmed their series. I think the good times were on the way out; I had to move an ashtray full of rollies and a dirty sock out of the way to sit down.

“At one point, it ended up being S Club 6. We were told Jo was having back problems and had been flown back to England.

“Imagine my surprise when some hours later, outside a bar, I was asked for a light. By Jo from S Club 7.”

On Thursday we asked: “Which global pop icon once had her security goons nick a disgruntled PA’s passport – so the PA couldn’t quit and fly home?”

The answer is Madonna, but maybe the more interesting question is: what would disgruntle a PA to such an extent that she’d want to quit and fly home?

Getting screamed at for opening Madonna’s curtains at the wrong time one morning didn’t help. But it was getting a phone chucked at her – Naomi Campbell style – that prompted the handing in of the notice.

BP writes:
“In 2007 I was on a National Lottery reality TV quiz show called The People’s Quiz, alongside some of the top TV quizzers in the country, including the not-yet-Chaser Mark ‘The Beast’ Labbett.

“We were filming in BBC Television Centre and a group of us (including Beastie) were getting into a half-full lift. It wouldn’t take everyone so, obviously, the big man himself was an obvious contender to hang back and wait for the next one. I noticed Rory Bremner at the back of the lift too and ‘joked’ “Out you get, Rory!” He looked up from his newspaper and gave me a ‘piss-off’ stare.

“We continued down a few floors, until Rory got out. Immediately, all the other quizzers stopped restraining their laughter and congratulated me on the joke.

“Turned out the unimpressed man was Jon Culshaw.”

G writes:
“The late Kofi Annan, former Sec-General of the UN, used to tell audiences that he was very happy to respond to requests for pictures or autographs, and had lost count of how many times he had written ‘Best wishes, Morgan Freeman’.”

RM writes:
“On the subject of mistaken celebrities… I once approached who I thought was Will Ferrell to tell him I loved him in Elf. Turned out to be Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Chad Smith.”

impish_scribe writes:
“DJ Roger Sanchez excitedly approached by fans, he graciously signed autographs – to which these fans excitedly squealed: ‘Thank you, Mr Ali G!'”

Last week saw music quizzes on the themes of Xenomania, Heart And Soul and Weirdly Sanitised Kidz Bop Covers. This week sees another five quizzes, brand spanking new and ready to rumble.

Each is made up of ten songs. You just have to figure out the ten artists (a point each) and the ten titles (a second point each). That’s twenty points for each quiz; a potential 100 for the full week.

Monday’s Theme: Record Breakers

[Play it here]

Morrissey’s just sold his mum’s old house
[Have a poke around]

An annotated guide to Bruce Springsteen’s walk on the Streets Of Philadelphia
[Impressive work]

US Presidents as Pixar characters
[See on Twitter]

Local News Of The Weekend: “Rampaging Badger Chases Customer Around Midlands Petrol Garage As She Clings To Curry”
[Read on Birmingham Mail]