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| “Prince is known for Purple Rain. I’m known for shooting up Bud Light cans” – Kid Rock |
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Email stories to us hello@popbitch.com
* Getting blotto with LOTO
* The British Carole Baskin
* PLUS: Rock-a-bye Bailey |
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| >> Better/Not << |
| Things could’ve been worse |
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D:Ream look set to enjoy a very lucrative six weeks after Things Can Only Get Better stole the show at yesterday’s election announcement.
A weaponised pop song is a hard thing to defend against, but it’s not as if the Tories haven’t tried. Back in 2009, when David Cameron was leader of the opposition and looking to topple Labour from power, some bright spark at Tory HQ decided to reach out to D:Ream to see if they’d consider crossing the floor and writing a Conservative anthem for the 2010 election.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, they declined. |
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| Some very big names using the seat-filling services this week: Katie Price at the Clapham Grand; plus the Sugababes, Mel C and Shaznay Lewis at Blenheim Palace. |
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| >> Franc conversations << |
| Some food for thought |
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James Franco has kept rather a low profile ever since allegations about his inappropriate conduct with women surfaced and he eventually admitted to sleeping with a number of his students at the acting school he ran.
But he was out and about for a little theatre trip in London recently. He was spotted taking in a matinee performance of The Hills of California – Jez Butterworth’s #MeToo drama.
And afterwards he was seen having a conversation outside the theatre with Billy Crudup, star of The Morning Show – another exploration of sexual misconduct. |
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| Spotted on the tube coming back from Mamma Mia: The Party at the O2. Kurt from Glee. |
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| >> Big Questions << |
| Who’s asking what this week? |
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Which comedian had to spend a small fortune on post-production for a recent special? The loud sniffing after each and every punchline proved so distracting, an editor had to be hired to snip them all out… |
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| The World Press Photo Exhibition has been extended at Borough Yards, London until Sunday 16th June. Travelling to over 60 cities, this is a must-see exhibition that showcases the year’s most impactful photojournalism, highlighting important stories from all corners of the globe. It hasn’t been in London for seven years, so don’t miss your chance.
[Get 10% off tickets with code BITCH10] |
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| >> Tiger Marsh << |
| The British Carole Baskin |
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How are things going over at Jodie Marsh’s animal rescue?
Word on the ground from locals is that a large terrapin of hers has escaped and has been roaming around the neighbourhood. A fugitive terrapin is manageable, if a bit weird. But it’s made neighbours more than a little apprehensive about the recent application Jodie submitted for a Dangerous Animals Licence. |
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| CL writes: “Moved from UK to New Zealand 12 years back. The only reason I know Noel Edmonds also lives here is because of Popbitch. He does not register as a blip on the radar in the national psyche let alone set new footwear trends.” |
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| >> Party girl << |
| Getting blotto with LOTO |
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The election has only just been called and already pundits and politicos are wondering who’s most likely to take Rishi’s place as Tory leader after the party’s anticipated wipeout.
One journo has been digging through old Cambridge year books and uncovered an interesting entry in a 2001 edition for Suella Braverman (or Suella Fernandes, as she was back then).
While the entry itself focused largely on Suella’s legendary drinking talents (recounting the time she got so sloshed she ended up prostrate in the foyer of a plush hotel in Grosvenor Square; or the time she drunkenly laid down on Silver Street and nearly got squashed by a lorry) it’s the line at the very bottom of the page that really caught the eye.
The prediction that had been made about Suella back in 2001? “Most probable future career – Leader Of The Opposition”. |
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| RL writes: “I met Daniel Bedingfield in 2012 whilst I was volunteering at the London Olympics and he was in fact wearing odd shoes! They were TOMS, one red and one blue.” |
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| >> Toes up << |
| This little piggy went online |
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Tory MP Johnny Mercer has been taking flak from all sides after a picture emerged this week of him sat barefoot on a train, drafting bombshell memos in public on an unsecured laptop. It’s prompted all sorts of questions about his conduct – both from a security standpoint and a general hygiene one.
But not everyone is raking him over the coals for it. Users of foot fetish site WikiFeet seem to have been nothing but complimentary about the photo since it was uploaded there on Tuesday.
It currently enjoys a five star review, bringing Johnny’s overall total score on the site to 4.49. |
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| Brian Cox (aka Logan Roy) says his guilty pleasure is staying in and watching Homes Under the Hammer. |
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| >> Law war << |
| Strictly confidential |
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Even though it’s broken up the odd marriage in its time, Strictly Come Dancing usually generates quite a cozy sort of gossip in the press. But it looks like we’re entering into a new era with the Giovanni Pernice story that’s been boiling over this last week.
The surest sign that shit’s getting real? Both sides have chosen to engage the two most infamously aggressive arseholes of media law to slug it out.
The women have picked Carter-Ruck (previous clients inc. the Church Of Scientology, the State of Qatar, Kevin Spacey and the still-anonymous owner of the olive oil paddling pool threesome injunction).
While Giovanni Pernice has instructed Schillings (previous clients inc. Lance Armstrong, Ryan Giggs, John Terry and Philip Green).
We know whose odds we fancy… |
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[Sign up here] |
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| >> Crowning inglory << |
| Don’t mention the kilts |
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The Royal Family’s feelings about the Netflix series The Crown are well known, but they’re not the only institution mad about it.
Gordonstoun – the Scottish boarding school which featured in an early episode about the young Prince Charles – is still extremely miffed about its portrayal. In particular, they object to a phrase Peter Morgan attributes to Charles in the script, describing his experience as being like “Colditz in kilts”.
A memo was sent round certain newsdesks earlier this month instructing reporters not to use that particular phrase in print. Why the big fuss now, so many years after the episode first aired?
Now that Charles is king, the school has been especially keen to highlight their most famous pupil (not least because it helps justify the £42,7500 annual fee). So they’ve been getting very quick at sending out fiery missives to any offending publication they catch repeating it as fact. |
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| Nominative Determinism of the Week: Thanks to the thousands of you nominating the President of the Royal Horticultural Society, Keith Weed. We first featured him in 2020, but a bonus fact: Keith’s mother’s maiden name was Hedges. |
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| >> United state << |
| The new king of the Castles |
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There used to be an easy way to know what was really going on at Man Utd in the Jose Mourinho era: read Duncan Castles in the Sunday Times, as he was the chosen mouthpiece for the Special One’s thoughts.
With the club now the subject of fevered speculation about what might happen this summer (Who will be manager? Which players will get the boot? Will the leaking roof ever get mended? etc) is there a new foolproof method of figuring out exactly what the company line is?
Monaco-based Brexiteer Jim Ratcliffe is a natural Telegraph fan. So just read James Drucker in their sports pages, as he’s the favoured outlet for leaks directly from the Ineos gang. |
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| We cocked up the Bobby Fingers link last week – so if you didn’t already go and seek it out yourself, you should watch Fabio and the Goose [here] |
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| >> Interviewzzz << |
| The snooze that’s fit to print |
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The Sun’s coverage of Andrew Bailey this week went very heavy on the sleepy metaphors; a little joke about the rumours that the Governor of the Bank of England has a habit of drifting off to sleep in meetings.
For what it’s worth, a Popbitch reader who was up for a job at the Bank of England has firsthand experience of it. Not only did Bailey doze off during their interview, he began snoring too.
The two other members of staff continued with the interview as if nothing had happened, skipping over any section where Andrew would have been expected to ask a question. Then, when he did wake up, they simply pointed to the part they’d reached on the candidate’s application and he picked things up from there.
This sort of thing happened with enough regularity at Bailey’s old job at the FCA it earned him the nickname: “Rock-a-bye Bailey”. |
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| Thanks to: SW, PD, LH, RM, theabominablehoman, henry_lucy, MC, dom_kaos, RL, JH, LJ, AS, slackhack, CL, CM, KP, JM |
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Old Jokes Home
An alien walks into a bar.
The landlord asks “Pint of bitter?”
“No thanks,” says the alien, “I’m into Stella.”
Still Bored?
Looking for something classy to do with all your leftover sperm?
[Try the “Cummy Bear”] |
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