The Second Serve // Hello Fan

And so, nearly 20 years after they first set a date for it, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have gone and got married. Friends of the couple will probably be a bit pissed off though as this is the second time they’ve been cheated out of a lavish wedding bash.

The last time Bennifer were making plans to get hitched, they were throwing the kitchen sink at it, with all sorts of luxury details getting leaked – including Oscars-style gift bags that featured fancy jewellery and trinkets and whatnots as wedding favours.

In the end though, it all got pulled so everyone lost out. All except for the lighting and A/V rental people. When Bennifer postponed the wedding, they were put on a retainer – a day rate – to keep the equipment on hold so they could be sure of getting it for whenever they rearranged their big day.

Imagine if they’d forgotten to cancel…

Shortly before she dated Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez was describing Puff Daddy (as he was back then) as the love of her life. How did that relationship go so wrong?

Jennifer and Puffy were never officially engaged, even though she did buy him an expensive diamond ring. In fact, she ended up buying him two. The first one was worth $50,000, but she had to get him a second (worth $40,000) after Puffy gave the first away.

He had used it to bribe his chauffeur to take the rap for him on a gun possession charge.

TB writes:
“About 10 years ago, I was outside The Social on Little Portland Street when Tim Westwood made his way over to go into the club.

“I said, ‘Tim Westwood!’

“He replied, ‘Hello fan.'”

Nadhim Zahawi may not have won the Tory leadership, but he has won something else in the course of his political career: the Craziest Parking Ticket of The Year Award 2004.

Zahawi was a local councillor in Wandsworth, making his way home one evening across Albert Embankment when he was suddenly knocked off his scooter and sent flying across the road. The impact broke his leg. The emergency services were called, with an ambulance coming to collect him and a police car arriving to investigate the scene. And while all of this was happening – just as Zahawi was bundled into the back of the ambulance – a traffic warden strolled past and plonked a £100 parking ticket on his mangled moped, left in the middle of the road.

The cherry on top? The picture he took to accompany the story in the papers.

[See it here]

We once got in a spot of hot water with a particular celebrity (who shall remain extremely nameless) for alleging they’d been spotted pulling an Alan Partridge at a showbiz funeral, leaving business cards out for fellow mourners.

Luckily, Tory leadership flop Rehman Chishti isn’t really a “celebrity” by any meaningful measure, so it shouldn’t be a problem to tell you that a constituent of his has been informing users of a local Facebook group about the time they had to escort Rehman from their brother’s wake – for handing out canvassing leaflets.

It seems “Thomas Corbett-Dillon” isn’t the only character that Tucker Carlson talking head Craig Dillon has played in his short political media career.

The name Craig Dillon rang a distant bell for one journalist, who remembered having written about him and a number of very serious allegations made about his personal conduct back in his YouTube days. Upon publication, this journalist was sent a slew of emails threatening some very dubious legal action – from Craig posing as his own lawyer.

All of which helps to explain why he nuked his personal social media accounts so quickly when viewers noticed he was that Craig Dillon. And maybe also why Fox News thought he’d make an ideal guest.

Last week we finished up our trail through the twenty-teens: 2015, ’16, ’17, ’18 and ’19.

This week, there’s another fifty songs all crumbled up and then smushed back together out of order. You get a point for every song you can name in the reassembled heap, and another for every artist you get right too. Ten songs, twenty points. Couldn’t be easier.

Monday’s theme: Heat

[Play it here]

Shane Corn, Kale Bush and Ri-yam-a: the Lambeth Country Show veg sculpting contest strikes again!
[See on Brixton Buzz]

What is going on with celebrities’ accents at the minute?
[Interesting read from The Face]

Incredible headline, even better photo
[Read on the Hamilton Spectator]