POPBITCH POPQUIZ // The August Edition
Eight new rounds of nonsense are waiting for you in the latest Play-At-Home Popbitch Popquiz. Guess The Bad Celebrity Poet. A Wax Sculpture Identity Parade. Seinfeld Or Indie Band? Spot The Boris and more. As a member of Club Popbitch, you get it all as part of your membership.
[Download it here now, free] |
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A second serving of scandal and slander Subscribe
Email stories to us club@popbitch.com
* Sex Pistols spunky sandwiches
* Christian Slater’s dung biro
* PLUS: A voyage through time |
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| >> Keeping it 100 << |
| What a difference 7000 days makes |
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This Thursday will see us publish the 1100th issue of Popbitch. It’s not the most eye-catching milestone, but it did remind us just how massive it felt making it to 100 without getting sued into oblivion in those early days.
It isn’t worth a big song and dance, but we figured we should mark the occasion somehow here at Club Popbitch.
PB100 was a compilation of favourite bits and bobs from the first 99 issues, so we’ve taken some of those and added a few odds and sods from the most recent 99 to show you just how little we’ve grown in all that time. |
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| #100: A seven-year-old boy in Tasmania pulled out all his teeth with pliers. The reason? He wanted the tooth fairy to leave him enough money to buy a Britney Spears CD. |
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| >> #100: Well bread << |
| An important update |
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One of the stories in PB100 was about how Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols used to relentlessly bully Glen Matlock. The story (according to John Lydon) was that Jones would wank into a baguette filled with chopped liver, then give it to the oblivious Matlock as a sandwich. Matlock was apparently always amazed as “how soft the bread was”.
Steve Jones has since refuted this story in his own autobiography saying Lydon is wrong. He never wanked into Matlock’s sandwiches. What he did was show Matlock how to use bread to fashion a makeshift fleshlight / masturbation sleeve.
So bread did still get wanked in, and Glen was still amazed at how soft it was, but that’s Steve Jones’s side of the story – 20 years later. |
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| #100: Sarah Jessica Parker claims to have been an orangutan in a former life. |
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| >> #1100: Water palaver << |
| A fountain of wisdom |
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Being an adored celeb might seem like it would be fun for a while, but it quickly starts to grate when all you want is to nip for a quiet slash without anyone bothering you.
Katie Price is full of tales about how fed up she would get at VIP events with everyone stopping her for selfies when she tried to go to the toilets that she eventually gave up.
Instead, she’d just sit on the edge of her seat. As she rarely wore underwear anyway, she would pull her skirt up and piss on the floor under the table. All the while being sure to smile for any cameras or fans nearby. |
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| #1100: Mariah Carey and Susan Sarandon share a weed dealer. |
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| >> #100: Dirty protest << |
| Christian uses “dung biro” |
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It’s an old story, but certain details of Christian Slater’s drug arrest were omitted at the time.
Having turned up at a movie premiere completely off his head, Slater left the theatre a few minutes into the movie, went into the toilets and began smashing mirrors and throwing bins around. The staff called the police, who entered the toilet to find Slater, high as a kite, writing “poop” on the wall with a piece of his own poo. |
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| #100: Winona Ryder claims that her shoplifting incident was her trying out a role. So how does she explain the stories going around LA that she had been caught several times before – only by shops who were less keen to press charges against someone so famous? |
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| >> #1100: Talking Cox << |
| Who came first: Logan or Brian? |
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A few years back, Brian Cox was recording a voice part for a children’s animated show. Making conversation, the producer idly asked Cox if he had seen any previous episodes of the series.
“Don’t be fucking stupid!” was his Logan-esque reply. |
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| #1100: Cara Delevingne uses a mini-scooter to get between her bedroom and kitchen because she finds the floors of her house “too hard” to walk on. |
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| >> #100: Macca’s exploding knob << |
| Acid piss condom rupture hell |
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During the early 80s, Ian McCulloch from Echo And The Bunnymen had sex while on acid. Having passed out for a bit afterwards, he gets up to go to the toilet, but forgets to remove the condom.
Still tripping, he begins pissing – and the condom begins to fill up. To Mac’s horror, it then bursts. In his confused state, he starts panicking and screaming “My cock’s exploded!” |
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| #100: When approached by a clubber requesting weed, Boy George’s memorable reply was: “All I can offer is ketamine or a fuck.” |
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| >> #1100: Blue chat << |
| Gent Lee does it |
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anon writes:
“I was at a Nintendo party a few years back and all sorts of semi-celebs were there. I was at the bar next to Laura Whitmore when a man walks over with the immortal line ‘You fucking anyone at the moment?’
“Typical Lee Ryan charm.” |
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| #1100: DJR writes: “I was living in Norwich and Shane Richie turned up at the local Ritzy’s nightclub one night. He tried it on with my co-worker with the line: ‘You look like Anna Friel. I’ve always wanted to shag Anna Friel.'” |
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| >> Popquiz << |
| This week’s audio rounds |
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Last week saw audio rounds on the themes of extraterrestrials, truth and lies, Europe, America and more. This week sees another five mixes cobbled together with varying levels of finesse on five new themes.
All you have to do is identify the ten songs in each mix (one point) and the ten artists who are performing them (a second point). There’s a total of 20 for each quiz; 100 for the entire week. Couldn’t be simpler.
Monday’s Theme: Kissing
Tuesday’s Theme: Jock Jams
[Play Monday / Tuesday] |
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| If either of those themes leave you cold, why not try one of the other 200+ audio quizzes we have in the Club Popbitch archive? No taste too terrible. [Play them here] |
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| >> Hmmms << |
| A few quick things |
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In Issue #100, one of the Big Questions was “Which Hollywood action star was overheard being fellated in his trailer by a young hopeful, saying to her ‘Work the shaft, cup the balls’?” Someone’s since researched the history of that legend
[Read on MEL]
Always meant to do the whole “1001 Albums To Listen To Before You Die” project, but never had the discipline? This website arranges it all for you…
[Get started here]
Type in fart morse code
[Play at Flatology]
Gordon Ramsay’s tantrums set to heavy metal
[Listen on YouTube] |
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| Thanks to: RC, dr_crawdaddy, OC, flossie, bumberklart, sunset_bitch |
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Old Jokes Home
Q/ Did you hear about the dyslexic Yorkshireman?
A/ He always wore a cat flap
New to Club Popbitch?
Get previous Second Serve issues [here]
The Popbitch Popquiz archive is [here]
The Daily Audio Quiz archive is [here] |
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