The Second Serve // Ice & Spice

Geri Halliwell caused some minor outrage last night when pictures of her chummily hugging Nadine Dorries at the Lionesses game hit social media. But this isn’t the most intimate clinch Geri’s ever had with a Tory cabinet minister. Not by a long chalk.

At a wedding she attended in 2009, Geri was invited to play ‘Pass The Ice Cube’: a party game where players take it in turns to move an ice cube along a chain of people, set out boy-girl-boy-girl, essentially by placing their lips on those of the person next to them, then flobbing the ice out of their mouth into theirs.

The combination of spit, melty ice and numbness makes it all quite messy. And the person Geri was stood next to, who got her slobbery ice-cold kiss? George Osborne.

Margot Robbie was at Secret Garden Party last weekend. We don’t know if she was supposed to be doing guerrilla marketing for her upcoming Barbie film by dressing all in pink – but if she was it didn’t work.

She danced for hours on the floating Pagoda stage to Radio 1’s Danny Howard going back-to-back with Waze and didn’t appear to be spotted by any of the 800 people there.

Now that he’s older and looking much more like Charles, the rumours that Prince Harry was the lovechild of James Hewitt have cooled off a bit.

But after the story in last Thursday’s newsletter about Harry’s third “forearm”, someone charmingly informed us that James Hewitt is supposed to have a knob the size of a “family sized Fairy Liquid bottle”.

So, who knows? Maybe the shot is back on the table?

If you’re not an avid singles chart watcher these days, summer’s always a good time to refresh your playlist. Here’s a quick Popbitch guide to some holiday tunes.

LF System – Afraid To Feel
Long time number one, clever club track out of Scotland

Calvin Harris – New To You
Slipping back from his 80s funk bounce into more of a 70s sound, this has a definite Salsoul Orchestra vibe

Beyonce – Break My Soul
In contrast, a rather inexpert attempt at house music

Sofi Tukker – Summer in New York
Breakout European hit for US hipster duo

Luude – Big City Life
Long time readers may remember this Mattafix track as a big 2005 PB recommendation but this D&B remix may even be better

Cat Burns – Go (goddard. remix)
Huge selling ballad gets a fantastic D&B remix

[Hear them here]

For the last few weeks we’ve been telling you that the Myatt’s Field Dog Show Committee has been rewriting its eligibility rules to prevent Boris and Carrie Johnson from being able to enter their dog Dilyn into any future competitions when they leave No.10 and return to their Camberwell home.

Their fears may have been a little premature though. Word is filtering through from the South London estate agent rumourmill that Boris has just bought a new place on the swankiest street in nearby Herne Hill.

Which is probably far enough away to rule him out of the Myatt’s Field Dog Show, but does now put him in a prime location to terrorise the Lambeth Country Show’s legendary vegetable sculpture competition.

Say what you like about the utter fucking dodginess of Bernie Ecclestone, the man knows how to laugh at himself.

Back in the mid-90s, a small team from Ernst & Young were called into his Hyde Park office to do a bit of due diligence on a couple of his companies. Accountants are usually given pretty rubbish desk space in client offices when they turn up for these sorts of short-term projects – and, sure enough, Bernie put this E&Y team up in the office kitchen, plonking them on stools around the kitchen table.

And almost certainly did so that when he popped his head in for a grand total of three seconds, he was able to crack the joke: “Hello! Cooking the books, are you?”

Last week saw music quizzes on themes of Crap Raps, Drugs and Bad Celebrity Big Bands. This week, we’ve got five more for you. Each one is about 2m30, and contains ten slightly shoddily mixed snippets from songs you have to identify.

There are ten points on offer for getting all the song titles (one point each) and a further ten for getting all the artists (a second point each). Ten songs, twenty points – score yourself out of 100 for the week.

Monday’s Theme: All In The Family

[Play it here]

The full Wagatha Christie judgment
[Vardy v Rooney]

Toxic by Britney, arranged for domestic appliances
[Listen on YouTube]

Betty Boo’s fave tunes
[Read on The Guardian]

A 99 year old Mexican granny got a gigantic cock and balls made for her grave
[See on VICE]

Cheryl Cole x alpaca
[More of this, Chez]