The Second Serve // Slurping With The Enemy

There was a lot of speculation over the weekend about the split between Tommy Fury and Molly-Mae – with some of the tabloids starting to allege there might have been some infidelity on his part.

If any reporters are looking for examples, we hear they’d be well served asking around the crew on Soccer Aid – who might be able to share the odd anecdote.

But our favourite rumour going around is that Tommy was covering up his dirty dalliances, accounting for his absences by telling Molly-Mae he was busy “working on [his] audiobook”.

AM writes:
“The Jason Derulo story this week reminded me of the time Harry Maguire and his family were at the same indoor trampoline park as my kids and a bunch of their mates, who were celebrating one of their birthdays.

“The manager of the place had to get involved and tell them off, as they were bouncing round the trampolines singing “Harry Maguire, your defending’s terrifying” to the tune of Freed From Desire. Poor Harry.”

One of the more wholesome topics of conversation between comedians backstage in Edinburgh this year is what a diamond Su Pollard is.

Our two cents, for what it’s worth: Su was known to have a bit of patter she liked to roll out to keep morale up during rehearsals. She’d pull down her top, then pretend to take a phonecall on her tits.

She’d use one as the mouthpiece, one as the receiver and would generally have a “conversation” with her agent while her castmates watched on.

Even though the Secret Service has asked him to stop hosting outdoor rallies in the wake of his assassination attempt, Trump is  carrying on.

An act of brave defiance? Possibly. But the International Association of Venue Managers annual convention took place in Portland, Oregon recently – and there was some interesting discussion between attendees there.

Word around the watercooler was that almost no-one is renting to Trump or the RNC without demanding payment in full at the time the venue is reserved. This is because the Trump campaign still has unpaid bills from rallies in 2016 and 2020 – and venue managers from all over are claiming he won’t pay up-front.

In fact, it sounds as though one of the reasons he was at a farm showground in Butler on the day he was shot at is because no-one else in western Pennsylvania would rent to him.

So he doesn’t always have the option.

The artistic director of fashion house Kenzo, Nigö, is Japanese and insists on travelling everywhere with a translator.

Even when travelling to English speaking countries – despite the fact that Nigö can speak perfectly fluent English.

(He just doesn’t want to have to deal with people.)

People warned Labour that they’d come to regret icing out the candidate they stood (then abandoned) in Clacton – the stylishly dressed Jovan Owusu-Nepaul.

Jovan’s been spotted out having pints with a rather unlikely pal in the Guildford Arms in Greenwich… Kwasi Kwarteng.

After a little summer break, we’re back with the audio quizzes again.

The rules are extremely simple. Each daily mini-mix contains snippets from ten songs. All you have to do is listen, identify the songs and name the artist.

You get a point for every song title and a point for every artist. The points don’t actually get you anything, but there’s twenty of them available all the same.

Monday’s Theme: Stephen Street

[Play it here]

A playlist of Olympic Breakdancing Tracks
[Play on Spotify]

The scam sale of Graceland
[Read on Billboard]

Who is the greatest movie actor? A statistical analysis
[Read on StatSignificant]