The Second Serve // The Dishonours List 2024

Whenever a new honours list is published, we can’t help but take a little look over it to see which Popbitch favourites have gone and got themselves a fancy new title.

This year’s Birthday Honours list dropped this weekend and there were quite a few familiar faces in there. So we thought we’d share some of our favourite bits and pieces about the latest recruits to the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire.

We’re delighted that Elizabeth Rebecca Pemberton-Mitchell (aka Liz from Boney M) has been honoured by the king for her services to music. To be fair, Liz has always known how to put a shift in.

Noddy Holder claims Boney M were the wildest band he’s ever toured with. “The girls in the band were mad as lorries,” he says. “Groupies, drink, you name it – they were up for all of it. Whenever we were in Berlin or Hamburg, they’d take us to hardcore sex clubs. There would be a queue of groupies outside their door which they’d always work their way through.”

Simon Le Bon, also honoured for services to music, is similarly inexhaustible. His nickname used to be ‘Dolphin’ due to his ability to have sex up to 15 times a day (like dolphins apparently can).

And that’s not taking into account his own personal playtime either.

When Duran Duran were playing the Fleet Boston Pavilion in 2000, staff at the hotel they stayed at remembered Simon was not happy about a “movie charge” that had appeared on his bill at check out.

Far from denying he’d watched the porn, he instead told the receptionist that it was “The worst porno I’ve ever seen! My penis was flaccid all the way through. There’s no way I’m paying for that.” So the $8.95 was removed from his bill.

D writes:
“I arrived to film at Tracey Emin’s studio in the city off Bishopsgate. She was running late, so the PR chap kept us waiting for ages outside in the baking heat. Once I entered the building, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Emin had just returned from Brighton and there were cases everywhere. Due to the change in light conditions I couldn’t see where I was going and I kicked a large suitcase.

“It sprung open, releasing what I can only describe as a fine mist of thongs and dirty underwear all across the hallway. The PR, horrified, exclaimed, ‘We’d better get this cleaned up before her Emin-nence arrives.’

“I laughed thinking the moniker was a gag. From the look I was shot it didn’t seem to be.”

When King Charles honoured Ally McCoist for services to broadcasting, he was presumably referencing McCoist’s performance in A Shot At Glory: a film in which actors Robert Duvall, Michael Keaton and Brian Cox all stand shoulder to shoulder in a cast with the pundit.

Although it might not have set the box office alight, the movie did at least result in one positive thing. The excellent headline: “Rangers Legend Ally McCoist Performed Sex Scene In Front Of Wife And Was ‘A Natural’ Says Hollywood’s Robert Duvall”

[Watch the trailer]

Armando Iannucci has been given his second big honour (a CBE to replace his OBE) but the Establishment doesn’t always look so kindly on his output.

During a Q&A at a screening of The Death Of Stalin, Iannucci let slip that The Thick Of It was only ever censored  by the BBC lawyers. once

The line they put the kibosh on? Malcolm Tucker saying: “That’s inevitable. It’s as inevitable as what they’ll find in Jimmy Savile’s basement after he’s dead.”

Alan Yentob will have some exciting news to share with his very close friend, Bono – now that he’s Alan Yentob CBE.

When Alan was at the BBC, he was well-known among producers for a little ritual he had. As they walked into his office, Yentob would wait until they were almost seated before asking his assistant, “Get me Bono on the phone.”

He would then proceed to have an entire conversation with Bono in front of the unlucky colleague, at the end of which he would hang up and inform his waiting guest: “That was Bono.”

Last week, we set you quizzes on the themes of Gap Store Playlists, Inside No.9, Eminem Samples and the first of our Euros-themed ones: Scotland v Germany.

This week sees another set land in your laps. All you have to do is listen to the ten songs in each mix and pull out the names of the songs (for a point each) and the artists (another point each).

Monday’s Theme: Weird Covers

[Play it here]

A library of covers that have been genderswapped
[genderswap.fm]

Local News Of The Weekend: Eric Cantona Spotted Walking Goat Outside Old School Bermondsey Boozer
[Read on Southwark News]

The knives are out for Will Lewis
[Read on Daily Beast]